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Google fail 86

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86 thoughts on “Google fail

  1. doctorK Aug 26,2009 8:11 am

    There are other teams in Major League Baseball? Unpossible.

  2. nevermoor Aug 26,2009 9:06 am

    Sal, can you crop the right side of that image? It runs into the right panel on my resolution.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  3. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 9:16 am

    I don’t understand why that’s necessarily a FAIL. If there are indeed more Yankee and Red Sox fans than any others (a good possibility, I think), then that prominent placement/search suggestion makes all the sense in the world. I mean, given the A’s dwindling fanbase/attendance, it certainly wouldn’t make any sense to have the A’s there.

    Despite your fancy-pants education, Sal, you’re letting parochialism (or perhaps antiparochialism) trump empiricism.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • salb918 Aug 26,2009 9:19 am || Up

      I thought the exact same thing, but decided to let my bitterness overcome my objectivity. Suck it, objectivity.

      • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:07 am || Up

        Which part of this sentence don’t you understand?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:08 pm || Up

        new sigline.

    • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:08 am || Up

      And, what’s more, shouldn’t that be “East Coast Bias SUCCESS”?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  4. batgirl Aug 26,2009 9:43 am

    from the Slusser beat:

    Crosby is on the DL with calf tightness and he still has not started to run, so he is not close to going on a rehab assignment yet.

    Evidently Papa Crosby isn’t on her fact check speed dial.

  5. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:23 am

    Hal McCoy (or his editor) calls Selugworth a whore?

    Perhaps after Selugworth vacates the OotP, he and Hal can go on a cruise together. Hal (or his editor) can call the resulting column “Around the World With Bud Selig.”

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:23 am

    RIP, Ted

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:28 am

    Neyer has a stupid willfully ignorant

    If he regularly bet on his own team, not betting on his own team on any given night was (Rose’s own wagering income aside) the functional equivalent of betting against his own team.

    The proviso against gambling has nothing to do with the individual’s income, but the potential for chicanery.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • andeux Aug 26,2009 10:49 am || Up

      Neyer does bring up a related point himself, so clearly he is aware of this issue:

      A manager who’s bet on his team to win today might do something that would make a loss tomorrow more likely.

      But for some reason he seems to think this isn’t a big deal. I’m not sure why. I think Rose’s current claim is that he bet the same amount on the Reds to win every day, but given that he’s a compulsive liar who’s already changed his story two or three times to match what he thought gave him the best chance of being reinstated, I also don’t see why anyone would believe that he has finally “come clean” and told the truth (especially since there seems to be some evidence that he did vary his bets depending on who the starting pitcher was). It’s odd that his decades-long self-promotion campaign for reinstatement has somehow managed to convince people who should know better.

      TINSTAAFK
      • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:03 am || Up

        I don’t think that point you highlight is related at all — it seems to me that Neyer is attempting to move the goalposts on gambling toward the pro-PED position (one which I occupy much of the time) of “It isn’t Bad For The Game if you’re simply trying harder to win!” while mildly condemning, say, overusing the bullpen one night at the potential expense of the next as a sort of unintended consequence of trying harder to win.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:20 pm || Up

          Okay, and I’m about to step in it here, I know, because I’m not coming armed with “facts” or “thinking” or anything like that. Just an observation, which can be dangerous around you fuckers…

          (deep breath)

          I understand the argument that if you’re betting on your team to win tonight that you’re more inclined to try harder to win tonight at the expense of tomorrow, which is a very interesting and compelling point. However…given Pete Rose’s personality, can you imagine ANY scenario that doesn’t involve him trying to win at all expenses right now? The guy was and is ultra-competitive at everything he did/does. Do you honestly believe his managerial style was any different than his playing style, with the way he tackles life, with everything else he does? Ultimately, he was not a very good manager, and his win at all costs mentality may be to blame.

          • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 5:12 pm || Up

            Well, sure, and I guess that’s what Neyer’s getting at.

            But if Rose truly wanted to win at all costs, and managed damn the torpedoes style … why didn’t he bet on the Reds to win every game?

            And what happens when the Reds winning (at baseball) comes into conflict with Pete Rose winning (against the bookies)?

            That’s why I insist Neyer and his ilk are being disingenuous/willfully ignorant.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 10:03 pm || Up

              They may be being disingenuous/willfully ignorant. It’s tough keeping a man that was that good out of the Hall of Fame. And not all of us are nearly as good at constructing an argument or parsing the logic of things. And it feels wrong not having him in the HoF, in my experience.

              And he claims he did bet on every game, doesn’t he?

      • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:04 am || Up

        Agree with everything else you said, to the letter.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  8. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:45 am

    This should be great

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • the dogfather Aug 26,2009 11:28 am || Up

      He’s great fun — by far the best excuse for the sfweakly.

      They’re also starting a movie next week that’s near/dear to my heart — A Dog Year.

      It had better not suck.

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
  9. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 10:47 am

    In high school, I played Moog for The Articles of Confederation

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  10. nevermoor Aug 26,2009 11:02 am

    Take that, Michael Steele.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:08 am || Up

      Not quite smackdowny enough for my taste, especially given the praise it’s getting in all the expected quarters.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:09 am

    Napoleon: the baseball equivalent of Betsy McCaughey

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Aug 26,2009 11:34 am || Up

      What makes you say that?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  12. sslinger Aug 26,2009 11:17 am

    Hey, next year’s going to be great! Chavvy will be back, and better than ever!!

    Third baseman Eric Chavez sat on the A’s bench in the opener of the series and Geren said he looked great and should start baseball activity in January at the latest.

    • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:18 am || Up

      I hope and expect that he will continue to look great sitting on the bench next year.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:23 pm || Up

        He’s our projected starting third baseman, of course. No backup plan needed.

    • whiteshoes40 Aug 26,2009 7:16 pm || Up

      Sigh.

    • dmoas Aug 26,2009 9:32 pm || Up

      Yeah, but Ever hasn’t shown up in years. I’d like him to set the bar a little higher than “show up”.

  13. andeux Aug 26,2009 11:21 am

    Chris Carter promoted to Sacramento.

    TINSTAAFK
  14. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:23 am

    Someone please explain to me why I should give half a shit about Avatar

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • JediLeroy Aug 26,2009 3:55 pm || Up

      Sam Worthington and his dog, Spot. I hear he’s good at the movie thing.

      Plus, something about special stereoscopic 3-D cameras developed just for the movie.

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  15. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 11:37 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mikeA Aug 26,2009 11:57 am || Up

      I remember being in the back of the theater for a “Pootie Tang” test screening, and they go, “What bothered you?” “Well, I didn’t understand what the guy was saying.” Like every hand went up. So they literally asked me if we should re-shoot his scenes and make him speak English. [Laughs]

      I went to a bunch of test screenings when I was in college (foolishly thinking “free stuff that usually isn’t free; awesome!) and they ask you really stupid shit.

      • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 12:23 pm || Up

        Someone would have to work really hard to convince me that all quantitative opinion-sampling isn’t 100% bullshit.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • mikeA Aug 26,2009 12:39 pm || Up

          That’s just your hippie limousine-liberal extorted history-major Oberlin douchiness coming through.

          • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 12:43 pm || Up

            Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:26 pm || Up

              Your revolution is over…condolences, Mr. Monkey! The bums lost!

  16. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 12:01 pm

    I think I’ll use this as a template for a f**post:

    “Massa, me don’t hit me no more. I got the money to kill the babies trade the prospects.”

    “There’s no way to pay for this thing without killing granny releasing Giambi.”

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  17. monkeyball Aug 26,2009 12:22 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • the dogfather Aug 26,2009 12:48 pm || Up

      GQ, eh? Well, dig this.

      I calculate my crapshoot odds at slightly under 1/200. They’re my best chance.

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
    • nevermoor Aug 26,2009 1:04 pm || Up

      I don’t know if I should be offended that I didn’t make the douche list. Probably not, since it probably just mean my team is the one behind the article.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • andeux Aug 26,2009 1:33 pm || Up

      The irony of being called douchy by GQ is rich.

      TINSTAAFK
      • the dogfather Aug 26,2009 1:43 pm || Up

        Well. You, sir, are no gentleman!

        /glove slap!

        The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
        • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:32 pm || Up

          now there’s a douche we can all agree upon.

    • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:28 pm || Up

      17th! I’m a douche! I’m a douche! I’m a douche!

      • nevermoor Aug 26,2009 3:34 pm || Up

        9th! What what! What?

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 3:55 pm || Up

          Well, in fairness, you are at least eight degrees more douchey than me.

          • nevermoor Aug 26,2009 4:18 pm || Up

            8 degrees below zero!

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • salb918 Aug 26,2009 5:02 pm || Up

          Yeah, I didn’t really get the joke/find it funny in the context of the rest of the list (which was moderately humorous).

          • salb918 Aug 26,2009 5:02 pm || Up

            Also: not a douchebag.

            • nevermoor Aug 26,2009 5:15 pm || Up

              It’s a little sad, huh?

              And yes, cheap shot out of context != funny. Brown, however, they nailed.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • Leopold Bloom Aug 26,2009 10:04 pm || Up

                meh. They really pretty much got my alma mater too. They’re a bunch of pretentious twits, save colin.

  18. oblique Aug 26,2009 3:52 pm

    Crosby’s gone. I know, newsflash. I wish they’d just release him though.

    My prediction that when all was said and done, Scutaro would have better career numbers than Crosby, is looking good, though.

    • sslinger Aug 26,2009 4:06 pm || Up

      I think it may be time for Monkeyball to do his thing.

      • sslinger Aug 26,2009 4:18 pm || Up

        Or, if you’d prefer to honor his approach to the slider low and away, you could choose this instead. Jeez, we could have had a nickname for him all along, Bobby “the Breeze” Crosby.

      • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 5:19 pm || Up
        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • salb918 Aug 26,2009 7:28 pm || Up

          Out of this World! Who my age didn’t have a crush on Maureen Flanagan?

  19. salb918 Aug 26,2009 5:53 pm

    Judge: Feds improperly seized PED list.

    Government investigators improperly seized a list of Major League Baseball players who tested for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, a federal appeals court in San Francisco ruled Wednesday.

    Agents who raided a Long Beach company in 2004 were armed with a search warrant for drug-test results from 10 players linked to the investigation of the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, or BALCO, in Burlingame. But they ultimately seized a list containing 104 players who tested positive for steroids during the 2003 season.

  20. JediLeroy Aug 26,2009 6:42 pm

    Wow, the TWSS wall has fallen. was broken, only to be replaced by a newer wall of TWSS.

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • lenscrafters Aug 26,2009 6:49 pm || Up

      This thread + the recent return of PT + appearances by sal, (74)mk, xbox, mb, WaddellCanseco, etc have made AN *gasp* enjoyable lately.

      • JediLeroy Aug 26,2009 6:55 pm || Up

        Maybe I’ll do an end of the season photoshop travesty to send them all back into hiding.

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • nevermoor Aug 26,2009 6:58 pm || Up

        Well… that thread is enjoyable. The rest of it is still pretty bad.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • salb918 Aug 26,2009 7:20 pm || Up

        this was a one-time thing to help Tom out. Don’t get used to it.

        • monkeyball Aug 26,2009 8:34 pm || Up

          TWSS

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • dmoas Aug 26,2009 9:35 pm || Up

          Kind of like how the A’s got the band back together. Flash in the pain and then it was released.

        • mikeA Aug 26,2009 9:57 pm || Up

          What about next year?

          • salb918 Aug 27,2009 4:47 am || Up

            we’ll all be dead by then.

            • monkeyball Aug 27,2009 7:27 am || Up

              Only if we’re signed by the A’s in the offseason

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • salb918 Aug 27,2009 8:45 am || Up

                and they ignore the advice of their consulting phrenologists.

                • nevermoor Aug 27,2009 9:55 am || Up

                  Eric Chavez’s problem is that his locus of control is in his back.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • oblique Aug 27,2009 10:23 am || Up

                  Is it a 13-year locus, or a 17-year locus?

                • monkeyball Aug 27,2009 10:39 am || Up

                  13-year-olds, Dude

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • mk Aug 27,2009 3:33 pm || Up

        I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a humorless contrarian, but mostly that thread irritated the crap out of me, and since allowing the crap to be irritated out of me by blog threads is stupid, I became irritated with myself for being irritated, which is itself irritating and stupid.

        I slogged through a lot of it, but eventually I had to limit myself to the Nick and iglew comments to preserve peace of mind.

        • nevermoor Aug 27,2009 3:57 pm || Up

          I’m hurt.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • monkeyball Aug 27,2009 4:13 pm || Up

            Not according to your dad.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • nevermoor Aug 27,2009 4:45 pm || Up

              Wrong. He admits I suck at baseball.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • mk Aug 27,2009 5:36 pm || Up

            You just have to compartmentalize the slight, and you’ll be okay. I mean, I’ve already divorced myself from my idea and internalized a whole shitload of critical dissection. Which is totally what Socrates would do in this situation. I don’t know why you need to get all emotional about it.

            • monkeyball Aug 27,2009 5:38 pm || Up

              Is there a good 2-person strategy/RPG about this topic?

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • nevermoor Aug 27,2009 5:39 pm || Up

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"

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