I figured it’s time for a new lounge. The other one done got mighty full, now, dinnit.
Friends, if Kay’s application to represent FK at BlogFest is accepted, she’ll need to arrive loaded with questions. She has a few things in mind, but unlike a representative who shirks the electorate after the election, she wants to do our bidding, not hers. If there are any burning answers YOU’d give if you were Bob Melvin, or whatever third stringers draw the shortest straws and are forced to do a little time ‘Festin’, let Kay know. She’d prefer to ask things that they might actually answer, so unfortunately, most of the interesting questions are pretty much eliminated before we get started.
However, Kay is sure we can all think of something, and if not, she can just ask each and everyone behind the podium what their favorite kind of pie is.
42
I’m Batman
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Shhhh
Tom Baker
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Who?
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Exactly!
“So who keeps the most hair product in his locker?”
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Shoulda known.
fuck.. don’t get distracted while making a lounge DFA
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We can combine forces to form a bigger, stronger lounge!
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Turn it into a new grill.
To get to the other side.
The chicken. Definitely the chicken.
I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
It depends on the size of the frog.
DFA: soft-boiled eggs and toast.
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I mean @DFA. I’m not saying that DFA is soft-boiled eggs and toast, although he may be. I’ve never met him.
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runny… eggs gotta be runny
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No. The have to mixed in a batter. Otherwise, dmoas winds up tasting the ages all fking day. Good going down the first time, but awful by the second time (let along the 20th).
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TWSS
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Wow. Re-reading that, if I didn’t know better, I’d think TWDFAS.
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why would i say that.
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You’d garble it was typos.
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I don’t think I make a lot of typos… thats more Future Eds game. I just make blatant spelling errors
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Same difference.
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Its a different mental process.
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Not really. It all boils down to laziness in willing to proofread.
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no it really doesn’t. Typos are about laziness, bad spelling isn’t because Im lazy but because my brain thinks that is how it is spelled.
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And you ignore the red lines under it and/or don’t bother to look it up. Most of what I see from you is typos anyway.
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not really, the browser spellcheck is awful.
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My firefox spellcheck prefers British spellings for a lot of work. Also, in the previous sentence, it has red underlines for “firefox” and “spellcheck”.
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Are you saying the colour is red?
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YUP
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Based on the words you misspell and more specifically typo, I’d say that’s not the problem.
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this
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Yup.
Five-but only if one of them is a midget or doesnt mind hanging upside down.
That’s a good question. We are working hard to improve the team this offseason. To that end, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce a trade that we just completed. It is a three team deal and we will be sending Daric Barton, to the Nationals and Jesse Chavez, and Bruce Maxwell to the Texas Rangers. In return we will be receiving Bryce Harper, Yu Darvish, and Jurickson Profar.
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We done just got screwed!
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Eh… Im not a fan of Yu’s contract if we have to send Barton
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Gotta give to get.
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TWSS
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Flip Darvish for Trout; he and Harper play either side of Cespedes.
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Is this the answer to “What about the fact that DFA doesn’t like the Darvish contract?”
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Or just a logical extension of your trade?
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I’d be happy with either of them. Trout is obviously a better deal, but unlike DFA, I have not problem with the Darvish contract. It’s a little long, but if that’s the worry, trade him in 2-3 years.
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I wasn’t serious
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I didn’t really think you were.
Twenty seven lemons, a spare tire, the collected works of L. Ron Hubbard, and an ant farm. Why do you ask?
Five words: find a good dry cleaner.
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Depends upon what you are trying to clean. Sometimes a wet cleaner works better.
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This is a valid point.
Listen to me carefully: no.
Did your mother ask you to ask me that?
I prefer chickens, but you should verify that it’s legal in your municipality first.
With any luck, Conor Jackson.
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ouch
That’s a clown question, bro.
Ask me again after the statute of limitations runs out.
FK the Giants.
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REC’D! :-)
Definitely 1 horse sided duck. Can you imagine how it would it would look for the Oakland A’s to kill 100 duck sized horses? The PR mess would be overwhelming.
We were thinking about burning disco records.
A taxi cab, a purse and a melon
Fried balogna sammiches for everyone!
We just sold the walk-up music rights to Celine Dion.
I’m sorry, but I can’t wear pants AND answer that question.
Ozz, move to dayton. have a job for the summer
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Me and the Ohio State Troopers don’t have the best relationship.
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I thought they were called “Buckeyes”
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No, those are deer turds.
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Not jelly beans?
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Remind me not to eat candy at your house.
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Y’all want sum mountain mushrooms?
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NO! And no mountain oysters, either!
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Yo need to get sum cultcher
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That’s what cities are for.
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I thunk cities wur wear you gamble yur wages aways.
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I spend mine of hookers, but to each his own.
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Eyes don’t urn enuff fur that.
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Sure you do, but you blow it all on that wife of yours.
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Aw.. You know me tuu well, ozz.
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You must, like, love her or something.
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She told me that if I didn’t, she’d cut me while I’m sleeping
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A man’s gotta do what a
woman makes him doman’s gotta do.up
You are wise beyond your years, Obi Wan
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Bedding with immoral women is a sin. I spend my money on whiskey.
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You do it your way, Jesus, and I’ll do it mine.
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At least you have aardvark’s name right.
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I figured it was either that or Noah.
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Noah was one heck of a matchmaker!
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And a zookeeper.
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Jesus, the anteater!
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Ahh…bourbon!
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Can someone explain to me why I should prefer rye to bourbon beccause in my book Bourbon is king.
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Are we talking streets, breads, or what?
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Whiskey
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I love bourbon as well
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Well, they’re really not so much different, and there’s middle ground rye-ish bourbons to muddy the waters more. But for me it depends how I’m using it. Drunk straight, bourbon is the only way to go. But rye can be better for cocktails.
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My favorite persuits
That shouting and moaning you just heard was Dick Vitale orgasming.
General Hospital and Days Of Our Lives.
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Holy shit! You picked my mom’s two favorites, going back to the 70′s
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Those were my sister’s favorites back in the ’80′s.
Rosebud.
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Question: What do you use to heat large areas of metal?
Rickey.
Grey Goose if we win, Stoli’s if we lose.
I’ve never broken a state law, but when I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale it, and never tried it again.
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I did not have sex with that woman.
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I did. And DAMN was it a good.
Why yes, I do feel lucky.
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You made my day!♥
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Glad I could help.
Because one of its legs are both the same.
Sorry, Billy didn’t tell me how to answer that.
If I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder.
I wanted an 85 inch TV, but my wife insists that we don’t have room for it.
BLECK! That must be what Geren’s finger REALLY smells like…
FKing Feinstein.
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ew
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I’d have to sandblast it afterward…then clean it with battery acid
It’s simple and foolproof: Harden, Duke, and Chavvy are fully healthy and ready to take us to the next level.
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From the first floor emergency room to the second floor intensive care!
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Haha! Exactly!
A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Bob Melvin. To win the World Series. Green. No, gold! No… AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
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Hah hah!
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As long as it isn’t the black jerseys…
What’s the question game?
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Why do you ask?
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Have you ever seen Rosecrans and Guildenstern are dead?
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Isn’t it obvious?
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Is that a yes?
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What do you think?
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Can you please answer the original question?
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Will you please let me finish?
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Were you saying something?
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Can we stop playing this game?
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What game?
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Isn’t it obvious?
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Can I play too?
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Do you know how?
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Doesn’t everyone?
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You’d think so, wouldn’t you?
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Are we playing that statements before questions are legal?
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What do you care if Ozz and I are playing?
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Why can’t people mind their own business?
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Is it because this game is incredibly annoying?
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Who asked you, anyway?
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Why do you think DFA is playing by the rules if he dislikes it so much?
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Has he ever played by the rules before?
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Are you referring to this game, or in general?
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Does it really matter?
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Wait, why are we even discussing this?
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Like I would know?
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If not you, then who?
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Are you trying to make a point?
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Can’t you see what I’m getting at?
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How are you not getting it that I need help?
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Do I look like a psychiatrist to you?
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Would I even know what one looks like?
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Isn’t the answer in the game?
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Wouldn’t you think so?
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Now you’re asking us to think?
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You don’t want to?
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Can’t someone else do it for me?
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What did I miss?
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Didn’t you read the thread?
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You want someone to catch you up?
Moneyball? Never read it.
I would argue that 230 lbs. IS a personal quantity.
It’s uncanny. He’s like the Rainman of porn.
Bake it at 350 for 45 minutes.
Is BoMel gonna have to choke a bitch?
I would never eat a dill pickle. They’re disgusting.
Stop. You had me at “Vin Diesel.”
Fuck her. I’m too good for her.
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Agreed!
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Oh I see how it is. She’s not good enough for you, but she’s good enough for me? Then again, I’m not one to pass up a good fuck.
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I dont know if she’s a good fuck or not. I know I’ve bent the fuck over backwards to help her out when she’s seriously in need, I know I’ve been taken for granted, and I know I’ve been massively fucking disrespected… so fuck it, I’m out.
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Well… it’s about time.
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also before the gigantic friend zone debate rages again, no that is NOT what my motive was. this is a person that i have known for 4-5 years now and get along with great and could see having a life shared with. so no not just a piece of ass. because I have to qualify that here i guess.
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Even friendship requires reciprocation and appreciation.
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this.
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Being disrespected by someone you thought is a friend blows.
Thats way different than being in the “friend zone”.
Luckily, this will open up a spot for someone that really is going to treat you reciprocally, since there is a limit to friends.
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Such as a certain someone someone else knows… brown chicken brown cow…
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wut
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Exactly.
Pussy. Unless her ass goes both ways, then anal. Oh. You mean choose between cats and mules? Same answer.
Until the juices run clear.
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chicken
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Until the juice runs down my leg.
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With lemon.
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Didn’t Clinton say this?
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He was quoting Robert Plant.
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Clinton knows Robert Plant?
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They met at a Grateful Dead show in ’67.
Until a tooth pick comes out clean
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But I don’t want to stick a tooth pick up my… um… fiiiiiiiiine…
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cake
It’s slippery, but fun.
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hot chick
Never on Wednesdays.
WWDFAD?
Yes, but we ran out of body paint.
My 84 y/o pt said this to me today:
“The good Lord only made one mistake: putting a woman’s holes too close together.”
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If the Lord cared that much, he’d have made women taller.
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His poor wife and her poor asshole.
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Her poor vagina and asshole.
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Yes. The vagina and asshole belong to her. But she is his wife. Hence the “his poor wife” comment.
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The lady was leaking shit out of her ass. It was the strangest shit I’ve ever seen.
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Her husband couldn’t tell one hole from the other. They’ve probably been married for 60 years. You do the math.
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I give up.
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I WIN!!!
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No, I quit.
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SAME THING!!!
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Lies.
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You take pitures, right? Could I get you to photoshop ~100lbs off me for wedding photos?
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Sure, but I charge a lot. Cash or boobs.
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By the pound?
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50 lbs for one boob.
Remember when we were talking about guilty pleasures? The Women of Brewster Place. And thanks, BET. I guess I’m not sleeping tonight.
So, this is happening. My brother’s wedding date is set. Her dress was purchased. She wants me to be in the wedding. I’m too fat for this shit.
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If you don’t get the bride to shit in the middle of the street while you’re dress shopping, you’ve failed as a bridesmaid.
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I don’t have time to shop for dresses.
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NSFW
Pancakes if she brings a friend, waffles if she doesn’t.
From now on, I want you to call me “Clancy.”
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Done and done.
Mostly we watch Dr. Oz and make gingerbread houses.
We are an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
Nah, I hardly knew her.
Boobs.
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The appropriate answer to all questions
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ahem
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Sorry….I don’t read those thingies much.
i don’t want to talk about football, but i would like to talk.
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Pour yourself a drink and pour your heart out. ♥
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i have beer. but my benito is ailing, so i am stressed out.
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*hugs* I wish I could say something to make him all better. But everything will ok in the end.
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i hope so! he is my only child!
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We lost Sasha a few years ago, and that was heartbreaking. And then, when I moved out a few months ago, I left Payton with Ozz(ex)wife. I miss her every day.
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i had to leave my kitties with my ex. that was a long time ago, but i still cry about it, sometimes.
benito is the best cat who ever lived. he is the strongest and the bravest and the most fabulous. tomorrow we will bring him to his regular vet and see what is up.
4 hours in kitty ER last night was the scariest, most horrible thing.
and i dreamt the patriots lost to the ravens on monday night so i think already did that grieving. le sigh.
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How old is Benito?
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he will be 11 on opening day.
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Sasha was 17 when she passed. I’m sending you all my positive energy, Sweetie.
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thank you! we will know more tomorrow.
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Keep me posted and check your FB messages if you’re not on there right now.
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i totally will. <3
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The cat or wife?
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The cat. Of course.
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You going to Fanfest, and/or the after party?
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yes. can i have a hug then? i have changed back into my a’s gear. wilfork’s jersey is in the washing machine now.
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I won’t go to FanFest itself but I’ll stop the lot to buy tickets and to hang out and hug.
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thank you.
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this… I don’t care about star fucking but i will hang out with you fkers
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fk fucking?
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pretty well summed up
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I’m in a navy blue polo shirt for anyone keeping score at home.
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I’m wearing a 49ers t-shirt. The cute bartender where I watch games said that if I get her a white 49ers shirt, she’ll wear it on SB Sunday. And every time the 49ers score a TD, she’ll pour a cold glass of water on herself.
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That doesn’t suck
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Nope. I’m gonna hold her to it.
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Hi LadyJ!♥
14, A, $2,356.47, Houston, Mitch Richmond, I’d buy that for a dollar, red apples, full arm motion, Longmire and the FBI.
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bed. hold me.
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A tough night for you my dear…you’re team will be back.
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my team lost and my kitty cat is sick.
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Sorry to hear about your cat. It’s never fun when your pet is sick. Your team just ran into a club that is playing really good football at the moment.
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now i dislike them more than the jets. but i don’t even care. i think the SB last year released me from caring. :(
it’s good to see you here.
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It’s nice to talk to you too…your team needs some quicker LB’s and some depth at CB and they’ll get to where they want to go.
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my heart was crushed tonight when my ridley got hurt.
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My heart was crushed when the season started for the Raiders…been that way for about 10 years now.
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You took the words right out of my mouth.
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You washed the gray right out of my hair.
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You washed the hair right outta my head.