The Cherry Poppin’ Lounge ← FREE KRAUT!

The Cherry Poppin’ Lounge 334

Wherein Ozz loses his post virginity.  And talks about himself in the 3rd person.

334 thoughts on “The Cherry Poppin’ Lounge

  1. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 5:38 pm

    Hey there.

    Boobs. [added by Ozz, editor extraordinaire] Don’t touch my comments, bitch. Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Oz. I said come back tomorrow.

    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 5:38 pm || Up

      I need a drink.

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:39 pm || Up

        I’ve got water, Coke, milk, and mango nectar. Pick your poison.

          • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:41 pm || Up

            Ok. It’s in a can with polar bears on the outside. Not real ones, just drawings.

            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 5:43 pm || Up

              And I work as a real nurse tomorrow. I am a mess over here.

              • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:45 pm || Up

                WOO! Your dreams are coming true, right before your eyes.

              • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 8:43 pm || Up

                I judge nurses on their ability to painlessly insert an IV. I was surprised at how much variance there is among nurses in this ability.

                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:00 pm || Up

                  The variance might be in their level of hatred toward you.

                • dmoas Dec 11,2012 9:03 pm || Up

                  And the quality of your veins. I have great veins and nurses seldom have issues inserting into me.

                • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:28 pm || Up

                  I was an excellent patient!

                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:46 pm || Up

                  Ok, maybe you should wear more deodorant.

                • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:54 pm || Up

                  Well, by that point I hadn’t showered in a week. I was pretty gross.

                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 10:23 pm || Up

                  Only a week? Pssh, amateur. I haven’t showered since… what year is it?

                • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 10:27 pm || Up

                  Reminds me of the story of the seminar speaker who went on too long. “Well, I think I’m a little over my hour…does this room have a clock?” “No, but there’s a calendar behind you!”

                • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 11,2012 11:14 pm || Up

                  imma gonna use that

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 6:21 am || Up

                  I like it!

                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:23 pm || Up

                  This is insightful; apparently IV skills are a real problem for many new nurses. Student Nurse Upgrade used to ask if she could practice on me. Fuck no, said I.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:31 pm || Up

                  There was one nurse who really good at it, and when the new shifts were posted I would check to see if I got Mae again. Once I lied to my nurse about needing my IV changed (no, it doesn’ burn at AAAAAAAAAAH all) because I saw that Mae was up next.

                • PDXAthleticsfan PDXAthleticsfan Dec 12,2012 9:06 am || Up

                  The hospital that we go to has an “IV Therapy” team. Any time Mrs. PDX has needed a draw (too often in the last two years) we don’t even wait for the assigned nurse to FK it up before we ask for IV Therapy. I’ve bruised a few egos that way, but also scared the nurses enough so that they listen.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 12,2012 11:48 am || Up

                  Mrs. N’s went bad during delivery, and they called the anesthesiologist in to do it.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 11,2012 9:58 pm || Up

                  This is also why you shouldn’t let doctors try to draw blood themselves. They only get a little training in their first year of med school and most of them are terrible at it.

                • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 10:02 pm || Up

                  I once let a med student draw my blood for an experiment. He did ok.

                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 12,2012 6:10 pm || Up

                  We have one doctor who goes straight to the femoral artery when asked to draw blood for labs. Once he went to the jugular. I almost passed out.

                • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 8:58 pm || Up

                  a nurse from austrailia told me that getting shots in the ass was the way it was done in the rest of the world. so I tried it.

                  SLF and I got the same shot on the same day, hers in the arm, mine in the ass, and I was ok within an hour, SLF had pain when usng her arm for 2 days.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 12,2012 6:08 pm || Up

                  Got an IV on the first try today. Got to cath a lady too. That was ugly. One of my patients also had a colonoscopy tomorrow. Two words: bowel prep.

                • Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 7:23 pm || Up

                  It ain’t fun for the patient either!

                • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 9:16 pm || Up

                  Who said it wasn’t fun for Jennifer?

                • Tutu-late Dec 13,2012 6:20 am || Up

                  GP! ☺

              • MikeV MikeV Dec 12,2012 12:03 am || Up

                i’m gonna need to see the outfit.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:24 pm || Up

        I just got home from work 20 minutes ago, and those were the first words out of my mouth. Two fingers of bourbon later, I still need a drink.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 11,2012 9:27 pm || Up

          Aw shit.

          Sorry, friend.

          I hope relief comes soon, preferably without tripping over anything in darkened hallways.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:33 pm || Up

            Thanks. I’ve now “had a meeting with Mayor Schmoke” (a euphemism my pal and I have used for 25 years now) and am in a much better frame of mind.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:40 pm

    Whoa, I can edit comments???

    • Soaker Soaker Dec 11,2012 5:45 pm || Up

      Hmmm, that probably means you have access to the secret stash of photos of Jennifer’s boobs too. I’m not gonna give it away, but take some time to look around and you should be able to find them.

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:46 pm || Up

        Ok. I’ll start with MikeV’s last known whereabouts.

        • MikeV MikeV Dec 12,2012 12:05 am || Up

          bar, downtownn

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 12:11 am || Up

            And were Jennifer’s boobs there?

            • MikeV MikeV Dec 12,2012 12:17 am || Up

              I can neither confirm nor deny.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 11,2012 5:56 pm || Up

      Post creators get all sorts of benefits from the FK gubbmint.

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:58 pm || Up

        With great power comes great responsibility. NM, I’m apparently supposed to inform you that WordPress 3.5 is available.

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 11,2012 10:00 pm || Up

          Just make sure you let some of that power trickle down.

          • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 10:24 pm || Up

            I always do. I have to take care of my pee-ons.

        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 12,2012 11:50 am || Up

          Yeah. Unfortunately WP is customized enough that upgrading is a huge pain. Probably won’t bother again until 4.0

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 6:19 pm || Up

            I figured you knew, I think it’s been available for quite awhile. I just didn’t want WP sending their thugs to tune me up for not telling you. You know how they are.

            • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 12,2012 7:34 pm || Up

              Indeed.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • ptbnl Dec 12,2012 7:38 pm || Up

                Tangentially, I’m consistently getting the crazy-ass reverse-video look if I’m logged out of the site.

                If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 12,2012 8:26 pm || Up

                  now?

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • ptbnl Dec 13,2012 10:34 am || Up

                  Not now.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 1:49 pm || Up

                  I did just now.

                • dmoas Dec 13,2012 2:27 pm || Up

                  I just got that too when it logged me out. I looks/feels like it’s trying to show both the regular version of Kraut with the mobile version overlayed on top of it. And it craps the browser out. Once you’re logged back in, it’s fine.

                • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 13,2012 4:03 pm || Up

                  Had it happen as well 2 days ago when I was logged out. It was on my tablet. The browser always defaults to the mobile and I have to hit a browser option to request the regular version. When I selected it it still popped up the mobile.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • elcroata elcroata Dec 13,2012 9:40 pm || Up

                  I never ever log out

                  All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
                • ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 10:34 pm || Up

                  I don’t either, but FK logs me out from time to time. I don’t know if y’all are trying to send me a message, or what.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 14,2012 8:17 am || Up

                  I get that also, every 3 weeks or so, and on all of the multiple computers adn phones I access the site from.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • ptbnl Dec 14,2012 12:41 pm || Up

                  Me three.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • dmoas Dec 14,2012 12:42 pm || Up

                  Yup. I think it’s a cookie of some sort that he has expiring every X amount of days.

                • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 14,2012 12:42 pm || Up

                  Yeah, I think WP puts a timeout on the cookie. I expect it happens to everyone.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 14,2012 1:49 pm || Up

                  Except of course for EC. And really, I just assume he bends certain threads in the matrix to make his profile adjust..

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 13,2012 5:34 pm || Up

                  Hmm… I have no idea why that is. I’ll investigate.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  3. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:48 pm

    I sold some photos today. I’m makin’ it rain, Trick! Ok, it was more of a sprinkle, but still.

    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 5:49 pm || Up

      I took my RN photos today.

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:51 pm || Up

        Racy Nude?

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:55 pm || Up

        Right Nipple?

      • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 11,2012 6:05 pm || Up

        Does that mean you passed?

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:10 pm || Up

            What do you call the person who graduates last in their class from nursing school?

          • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 11,2012 6:12 pm || Up

            Yeah, but the whole fking thing was rigged against the majority of students passing, so passing something so incredibly fking hard is like getting an A in a regular class.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:25 pm || Up

            Hooray!!!

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 12,2012 7:55 am || Up

            Yay Jennifer!

  4. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 5:57 pm

    This fish is called a pudding wife. What thought process fills the gap between “Here’s a fish no one has ever named” to “So it’s decided. We call it the pudding wife”?

    300

    • dmoas Dec 11,2012 6:10 pm || Up

      Bunch of fishermen get together to fish one day. The ugly one, they called Pudding. Well, you see he’d always catch shitty, tiny fish while the others caught the big ones. One day, the best fisher of the bunch, Trapper, caught that ugly little thing. Pudding thought that would be an opportune time to rib Trapper by asking him if it were a Keeper. Trapper responded “No, Pudding. It’s your wife.” And Trapper threw it back in.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 11,2012 6:16 pm || Up

      Like most things in life, through frustration and laziness? Maybe something like this:

      Naming Commission Member A I’ve got it: Clown Fish!
      Naming Commission Member B Taken.
      NCM A Oh okay, then we’ll go with Rubberlip Grunt.
      NCM B Taken.
      NCM A Really? Fine, I’ve got more. This fish looks like a Magnificent Foxface to me!
      NCM B Nope, that’s taken.
      NCM A I’m sick of this. Choose one of the rest of my list and let’s go home. Dab, Burbot, Chub, Haddock, Lumpsucker.
      NCM B Sigh, all spoken for.
      NCM A FK it. I’m choosing two random words out of the dictionary… “pudding”…”wife.” This fish is a–I can’t even say it. Let’s go home and never speak of this again.

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:18 pm || Up

        I take it NCM C was asleep through all of this.

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 11,2012 6:39 pm || Up

          She was hanging out with ACD C.

          • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 7:33 pm || Up

            Doing dirty deeds?

            • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 11,2012 7:35 pm || Up

              dirty deed done dirt cheap

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 11,2012 7:35 pm || Up

                i guess you cant format without html skills

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 7:35 pm || Up

                Durrty Gertie, done dirt cheap…

                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 7:55 pm || Up

                  I will cut you.

                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 8:19 pm || Up

                  I ain’t skeert.

                • beebo beebo Dec 11,2012 10:13 pm || Up

                  She’ll cut you, you’ll end up in the hospital, then she’ll purposefully fuck up putting in your IV.

                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 10:25 pm || Up

                  I don’t believe in Western medicine. Or germ theory. Or any of that crap from Newton, Galileo, and Copernicus.

                • andeux andeux Dec 11,2012 10:46 pm || Up

                  Are you vying to take Jim DeMint’s seat?

                  TINSTAAFK
                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 11:11 pm || Up

                  No, just trying to get in Bachmann’s pants.

      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 11,2012 6:19 pm || Up

        Alternative explanation: a Brit named it. They’re always going on about pudding.

        • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:20 pm || Up

          Pretty sure “pudding” is a British catch-all for “we don’t really know what the FK it is.”

          • ptbnl Dec 11,2012 6:49 pm || Up

            Given that when we do know what it is we call it things like Spotted Dick or Toad In The Hole, you should be thankful

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 7:00 pm || Up

              Y’all certainly have a way with food names.

      • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 8:46 pm || Up

        “now lets get to designing this new UC logo”

        • dmoas Dec 11,2012 9:05 pm || Up

          You mean the Berkeley Flaccid Penis?

          • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 11,2012 9:12 pm || Up

            the calford whalers

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:28 pm || Up

              The “your page is loading”

            • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:34 pm || Up

              Ooh, I like that one!

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 12,2012 7:57 am || Up

                We walked by a frozen drink stand in Reno that had a logo that looked just like this one, but with a double yellow line instead.

  5. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:03 pm

    I’m now watching S2 of The Walking Dead.

  6. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:04 pm

    One more time, how does one post a video?

    • Soaker Soaker Dec 11,2012 6:09 pm || Up

      If it’s from Youtube, I use Share –> Embed and copy the code (resize it if appropriate), then just paste the code into the comment box here.

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:11 pm || Up

        Ok, thanks. I’ll try to remember this time.

        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 12,2012 11:53 am || Up

          Alternatively, just paste the youtube link on its own line in a comment. FK can take it from there.

          Also works with Twitter and some other major websites.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 12,2012 12:09 pm || Up

            Given the option, I do think Soaker’s method is best. It lets you get a good size every time. When I just paste the link in it seems to creat a giantvideo that makes the page a bit more wonky.

            But the Youtube mobile options seem to not have the share embed option available (or if it is I havent found it). so when in doubt, paste the link.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 12,2012 12:10 pm || Up

              While we’re discussing this, what’s the consensus on the ideal size for a video? Every time I try to shrink one, I overdo it.

              • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 1:20 pm || Up

                I do 333 or 350 or so.

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 6:20 pm || Up

                  How do you set it to so?

                • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 9:02 pm || Up

                  hit share, hit embed, there will be something that says customize with two boxes next to it. in the first one type 333. the box on the right will auto fill. the box above with the url will auto fill those height and width paramiters.

                  copy the url that is in the box.

                  past in comment box

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 9:17 pm || Up

                  But what if I type in “so”?

                • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 9:28 pm || Up

                  I don’t know

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 9:32 pm || Up

                  You offered it as an option without knowing the potential consequences? You will not live to regret this.

  7. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:05 pm

    I know the Mayans are wrong because Ann Coulter clearly isn’t pregnant.

    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 11,2012 6:08 pm || Up

      The 2012 end date was a crutch that got me through some hard times. If I had been forced to believe in an indefinite future and the possibilities of living to grow old and/or be uploaded, my brain would’a asploded.

      Now, I figure everything after next Friday is a freeroll, and I wanna play smart with house money, not reckless like a lot of fools would.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • nobody in particular Dec 11,2012 6:12 pm || Up

        While that last (November) Mercury Retrograde was in the process of torturing me to the brink of certain death, I wrote this:

        Here is how I see it: People are hyped on 12/21 and this Merc Retrograde preceding it is almost the mother of all Merc Retrogrades, because it would have to be epic to set up next month. But all it is is this, OK? It’s the midpoint to the new world, to the new planet.. to the new, recalibrated frontier that has shed the darkness of planet Pisces (putting things in astrological and astronomical terms like the Mayans did) and is now more than halfway to planet Aquarius where creativity and compassion and community are more to the fore and the autodestructive behavioral modalities of the old ways that characterized the old era are no longer acceptable or even demonstrably applicable. Past the Point Of No Return where we proceed out of Planet Fishbowl and more than halfway through the journey we have all sensed we’ve been on, trying to reach Planet Water-Giver, Planet Life-Giver where we are coming from Planet Life-Destroyer, Life-Taker. Sadly, a lot of all we know is the cruelty and fishbowl myopia that characterizes creatures who have only ever known the fishbowl and the Universe the fishbowl circumscribes and defines.

        Now here is where it gets a little weird (LOL yeah right it isn’t weird YET Josh, uh-huh). Think of it this way: We took off in the spacecraft called what might be termed Global Consciousness — with the attendant advent of globalizing technologies like world satellite broadcast linkups and supersonic airplanes progressing through to the Internet later on — in search of the new Aquarian world when the shift began in the 1960s — the song, remember that song? from HAIR, right? This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius with harmony, understanding, sympathy and trust abounding and all that other good sh*t. Well the scary part is that the midpoint or Point of No Return is like we only have enough fuel to make it to the new world, represented by all the necessary lessons and aspects of the old world we left that we need to remember and continue on with, and we have reached the point where there is no longer enough gas or rocket fuel or dilithium crystals to return to what was. There is no going back and those who insist on doing so will, in some significant way, be left behind in a fundamental facet of how they experience life and living.

        We see it all around us, where people just cannot let go of things that are so obsolete that they seem cartoonish already. Things like racism. Things like misogyny, like homophobia, like whatever you call it when people let their stereotype of reality eclipse the human worth they can perceive in someone else — often someone they’ve never even met but have felt free to judge in such a condemnatively dismissive, bigoted, final and hateful way. For a lot of people, that person they are judging is themselves and it all gives the lie to the cliche (often apt, I think) that the good and bad we perceive in others is equivalent in some way to the good and the bad we know in ourselves, and that this is indeed the only way we could recognize these aspects in others is from having experienced them as aspects of ourselves.

        Well, what this Merc Retrograde is is what travelers call an “idiot check.” If it were a Kate Bush song, it would be “One Last Look Around the House Before We Go.” Merc Retrogrades are all about going back into the past and retrieving the necessary aspects of those past situations we have left untended to and the untethered, inadequate frameworks of judgment we have built up around those erroneous and incomplete judgments. This, to be able to close the chapter, find the resolution that we let fester into negative motivation in our lives, and MOVE ON to see our more inclusive and prescient better days.

        So this is almost the Last Roundup of Mercury Retrogrades and the Piscean Age won’t go quietly or without a fight cuz old habits sure die hard. But 12/21/12 is just a marker where the new epoch (Mayans called it a “Baktun”) begins to really take over from the old to the point where the old age, characterized by greed and distrust and deprivation in the fishbowl, really begins in earnest to give way to the new, which if you dig astrology in particular is all about the Aquarian capacity for creativity and the other qualities I specified.

        The classical pictographic representations of the two signs really tell the story in the end: it’s the fish (Pisces) and then the person pouring the water, Aquarius. Like the next level up to a new Universe or maybe old wine in new bottles and a better, more complete understanding and integration into the existing Universe as we sorta, kinda know it now? I do not know and anyone who tells you they do is telling you what they wanna hear.

        I of course apologize for the length of this screed but anyway, rest assured that Big Transitions have been, are, and will be coming and that this month — the “Incredible Hulk” of Mercury Retrogrades, if you will — is ramping up to more horizonal redefinitions in previously uncharted waters to come.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 11,2012 9:15 pm || Up

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • nobody in particular Dec 11,2012 11:13 pm || Up

            Glad you liked it!

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
            • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 12,2012 4:22 pm || Up

              It was a particularly inspiring screed. I sent it on to my wife, as well.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • lenscrafters Dec 12,2012 12:59 am || Up

          By “Big Transitions” you mean we’re finally going to break our streak of shitty shortstops right?

          • nobody in particular Dec 12,2012 1:22 am || Up

            Yes, I am in a truck stop halfway back from Chicago with Stalin Castro (whom I have taken the liberty of borrowing from his home) in the trunk as we speak. No turning back now I’m afraid.

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
            • nobody in particular Dec 12,2012 1:23 am || Up

              NICE typo, “Stalin Castro”. I’ll take Marxist dictators for $400, Alex.

              Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  8. Soaker Soaker Dec 11,2012 6:22 pm

    For 12/12/12, Soaker is gonna head down 395 and soak. Hopefully in some snow. Here’s a pic I took in Dec. 2009 (it’s Travertine, just outside of Bridgeport CA).

    • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 6:40 pm || Up

      I want to go to there.

    • elcroata elcroata Dec 11,2012 9:16 pm || Up

      How very nice

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:27 pm || Up

      Looks lovely. Alkaline. But lovely.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  9. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 11,2012 6:33 pm

    I’m really enjoying the way the Warriors are playing. But I might be enjoying the way the Lakers are playing even more.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:28 pm || Up

      Eff the Lakers. But the Warriors are indeed delightful. I’m pleased with all the minutes Harrison Barnes is getting. And Steph Curry is just dreamy.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:47 pm || Up

        MO will fight you for Curry.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:49 pm || Up

          She has assets to bring to bear which I cannot match. Though my parents are Davidson season ticket holders.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:54 pm || Up

            That can’t hurt.

            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 12,2012 10:41 am || Up

              I love me some Steph, but Sonya Curry is more my speed. Dell is a lucky man.

              • Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 10:59 am || Up

                Sondra Currie for me!

                • PDXAthleticsfan PDXAthleticsfan Dec 12,2012 11:03 am || Up

                  Teenage Seductress seems like it would be…really bad, but at least really bad with boobs.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 11:10 am || Up

                  I was a teenager at the same time, so it was ok. ☺

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 12,2012 7:03 pm || Up

      Now’s the time to get on the bandwagon, people. Filling up fast.

      • PDXAthleticsfan PDXAthleticsfan Dec 13,2012 9:25 am || Up

        Given how many Giants caps I’ve seen around here and during my trip to the Bay Area, the bandwagon is a tardis, with much more capacity than it seems like it should have from the outside.

        A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  10. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 7:04 pm

    I can see the end.

    • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 7:12 pm || Up

      Sorry, I’ll pull my pants up.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 11,2012 7:14 pm || Up

        I said I could SEE it, tiny.

        • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 7:34 pm || Up

          Of course you could. You know your way around a microscope.

      • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 8:58 pm || Up

        • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:06 pm || Up

          Haha! I wanted to see that movie.

          • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:29 pm || Up

            I don’t even know what movie that is. I just knew Brian Posehn had a bit on male cleavage, and this was the only evidence youtube could bring up.

            • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:48 pm || Up

              I don’t remember the name of it, but looked funny.

    • colin colin Dec 11,2012 7:33 pm || Up

      Yay, that’s awesome.

      I can see the end too. Only three more days of ice prison!

  11. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 11,2012 7:30 pm

    i have a milo on me again

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  12. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 11,2012 7:40 pm

  13. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 11,2012 8:10 pm

    Wait, i thought there was a ban on ozz lead posts?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 8:20 pm || Up

      You can’t stop me. You can only hope to contain me.

  14. the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 8:56 pm

    We had our charity silent auction at work today, and as usual, the guy donating the best stuff to the auction was the ex-astronaut. I was going to bring my extra copy of the 2008 Hardball Times Annual, but in hindsight that would have really lame if my book was placed next to his SPACE SHUTTLE MEMORABILIA.

    • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:07 pm || Up

      I used to have a Soviet navy watch of the type that was issued to submarine captains.

      • dmoas Dec 11,2012 9:10 pm || Up

        Mickey Mouse watches from the college kid driving the sub ride aren’t that impressive.

        • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:15 pm || Up

          Dude, my watch was awesome. Excet I could never figure out how to wind it. It was really weird.

          • beebo beebo Dec 11,2012 10:15 pm || Up

            It was probably nuclear powered.

            • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 10:25 pm || Up

              That would explain the extra mouth on my wrist.

              • beebo beebo Dec 11,2012 10:50 pm || Up

                Or at least, you know, had radium in it.

                • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 10:53 pm || Up

                  Old watches used to have radium in them, but they’ve been replaced with the safer (but still radioactive) tritium.

                • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 11:12 pm || Up

                  It had Chernobyl in it.

    • elcroata elcroata Dec 11,2012 9:20 pm || Up

      So, what did you bring, then?

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
      • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:34 pm || Up

        Brownies, for the potluck. When I got home I realized that my copies of “Borderland of the Unknown” or “From Retorts to Lasers might have elicited a generous bid from my colleagues, but in hindsight I’m glad I hung onto the books.

  15. elcroata elcroata Dec 11,2012 9:19 pm

    Combiing cleaning the snow in fornt of the house and doing something for my little neighbor

    All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
    • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:21 pm || Up

      Next time, you need red LED’s for the eyes, so you can turn them on at night and make the kid cry.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:34 pm || Up

        Or use the LEDs for nipples and make him delighted!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 9:40 pm || Up

          Oh, wait, those are the snowman’s legs on the swing? I thought she was puttin em on the glass, in Sir Mix-a-lot parlance.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:49 pm || Up

          This is why you make the big bucks.

    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 11,2012 9:23 pm || Up

      Yay!

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 9:35 pm || Up

      Very cool.

    • beebo beebo Dec 11,2012 10:16 pm || Up

      So, I’m assuming you climbed into a neighboring tree for that last shot?

      • the llama the llama Dec 11,2012 10:17 pm || Up

        he fucking levitated

      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 10:26 pm || Up

        He threw the camera in the air and used a remote control to trigger it.

    • ptbnl Dec 11,2012 11:35 pm || Up

      I want to live next door to you.

      But not in the creepy way.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • elcroata elcroata Dec 12,2012 1:17 am || Up

        #notastalkerbutunderyourwindowrightnow

        All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
        • MikeV MikeV Dec 12,2012 7:54 am || Up

          #foldyourlaundry

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

      • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 12,2012 4:24 pm || Up

        Tagline!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  16. ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:20 pm

    It’s been so long since my dad had the “birds and the bees” talk with me, but if I want to make a baby I have to eat a flower and then rub buttholes with a girl, right?

    • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 12,2012 7:59 am || Up

      Swallow a bee and germinate.

      • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 6:23 pm || Up

        Can this be a tagline?

      • colin colin Dec 12,2012 7:30 pm || Up

        Have you guys seen this movie? Because that’s where I got it from.

        Also, I have a t-shirt with that on it. It’s a fun one to explain to people.

  17. ChickenStanley Dec 11,2012 11:09 pm

    Shit, I came in here thinking the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies were playing. Fucker.

  18. MikeV MikeV Dec 12,2012 12:08 am

    suddenly I want to make myself a better person

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  19. Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 9:38 am

    So, are any of you dealing with arthritis in your hands/fingers? I’ve had arthritis for quite a few years, but this is the first, where the winter weather has caused so much pain. Are there any home remedies to relieve the pain? I’ve had to pry my fingers from around the steering wheel after driving for a while. Just typing is an adventure.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 12,2012 10:18 am || Up

      I have a partially torn rotator cuff which causes me dull aching pain almost constantly, but especially after I wake up on cold mornings. Since I don’t want to constantly be taking ibuprofin I really have no solution.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • dmoas Dec 12,2012 10:18 am || Up

      Not in the hands or fingers, but definitely the spine. Though I have no idea of anything remedy-like.

    • Ice Cream Ice Cream Dec 12,2012 11:34 am || Up

      First off, I would ask are you taking any new medications? Several years back when I was diagnosed with degenerative cervical disc disease (neck) the neurologist put me on gabapentin (Neurontin) and when that wasn’t working for me we tried pregabalin (Lyrica). One of them (the gabapentin, I believe) gave me arthritis-like symptoms in my hands and fingers. Every morning I would wake up and have to struggle to uncurl them. When I discontinued the medication, it went away. I’m still a pain in the neck, though, and the best consistent (though not 100%) relief for me is ibuprofen, 800 mg. twice a day (for the last 3 years). Knock on wood but I haven’t had any G.I. problems (such as bleeding) yet and I drink plenty of fluids to help my liver and kidneys process it. Good luck.

      Where is the good in "good-bye"?
      • Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 12:13 pm || Up

        I have taken Meloxicam for about 3 years with no problems before this. The pain is mainly in the middle/ring finger of my left hand. In the last month, I have weaned myself off of the vicodin I was taking for the twu knee replacements I had this year. The area in the left hand has been a problem for about 6 years. Any side pressure applied to the fingers, like when you use the turn signal lever, is excruciating.

      • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 6:26 pm || Up

        I see your problem already. Your doctor says you have degenerative cervical disc disease. First of all, there are no discs in your cervix. Second of all, even if there were, it wouldn’t cause neck pain. I suggest finding another doctor.

  20. dmoas Dec 12,2012 10:19 am

    [Takes puff of virtual cigarette]

    Well… was it good for you?

    • Tutu-late Dec 12,2012 10:24 am || Up

      Almost as good as the virtual dinner I inhaled last night.

  21. colin colin Dec 12,2012 12:27 pm

    • andeux andeux Dec 12,2012 12:30 pm || Up

      So it’s official. Hipsters are everywhere.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 12,2012 12:41 pm || Up

        Yeah, but I doubt these guys got there before it was cool.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 12,2012 1:00 pm || Up

        Choice of beer reveals them to be poseurs.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • colin colin Dec 12,2012 1:31 pm || Up

          Choice of beer is a sore subject down here. This is my third deployment and Sierra Nevada is *by far* the best beer that has ever been available — and it has only shown up in the store twice and generally sells out within half an hour. On top of this, pretty much every beer you get here is skunked because it has been exposed to multiple extreme temperature cycles during transport.

          • dmoas Dec 12,2012 1:50 pm || Up

            With all the smart people who go down there, you’d think that A) You’d have your own mini-brewery down there and B) Someone would have figured out how to bring deskunked beer down there.

            • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 1:54 pm || Up

              brewing takes 6 weeks for a batch, no? Add to that I imagine those cats don’t have lots of free time, and lack of long term deployment brewing may be not practical.

              But yeah, you think you could figure out how to ship beer cold.

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 12,2012 1:56 pm || Up

                Can that train from the Coors Light ads float?

                • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 6:28 pm || Up

                  Sure, but then you’d have to drink Coors.

              • dmoas Dec 12,2012 2:43 pm || Up

                Brewing would require teamwork. Or an automated system.

      • colin colin Dec 12,2012 6:19 pm || Up

        That night was a fun party.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 1:22 pm || Up

      beer pong anyone?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  22. brian.only Dec 12,2012 1:06 pm

    Have any of you local folks checked this place out?
    I’m starting to become obsessed enough to warrant a pilgrimage. SO FK’ING COOL.
    Not sure if its a just consequence of compulsive modelmaking during my youth, but an added bonus is it’s located across from the old Record Plant where Rick James recorded Superfreak and Sly Stone built a really crazy personal studio where he could sing in bed.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 1:24 pm || Up

      awesome

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • colin colin Dec 12,2012 1:24 pm || Up

      I’ve been there a few times, but probably not since I was about 10 years old. I think it’s worth a trip.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 12,2012 1:30 pm || Up

        Same here, a couple of field trips in elementary school, and it’s still vividly cool in my mind.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • brian.only Dec 12,2012 1:33 pm || Up

          Thanks, consider it officially endorsed!

  23. Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 12,2012 6:45 pm

    Anyone out there in FKville have a good recipe for Frenched Rack of Panda Bear?

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • dmoas Dec 12,2012 6:58 pm || Up

      Sure. Stick your head between the Panda’s breast and lick (breast shaving optional).

    • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 7:00 pm || Up

      Sorry, my endangered species cookbook is packed away at the moment.

      • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 12,2012 7:08 pm || Up

        Damn.

        So I take it Ibex stew is out of the question as well?

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Ice Cream Ice Cream Dec 12,2012 9:17 pm || Up
          Where is the good in "good-bye"?
          • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 9:28 pm || Up

            This guy has a way with words.

            the placenta is to the baby what Stephen Baldwin is to Alec Baldwin. It’s what your liver would look like if it got into an accident on the autobahn with one of those aliens from Mars Attacks! and their bloody carcasses threw jellyfish at each other.

            If I ever kill a man in my own home, I am totally calling the placenta lady.

            Sara did not understand that when Cassandra’s looks fade in her 50s, there’s no way I’m putting up with this crap.

        • ozzman99 Dec 12,2012 9:19 pm || Up

          Sorry. I might have a recipe for gorilla gumbo handy, if you want.

  24. nobody in particular Dec 12,2012 7:42 pm

    When I read the comments after this Gawker article, I laughed 6 minutes without stopping. Just imagine the comedy gold one-liners possible from the story had the plotters succeeded…That Justin Bieber, he sure had balls. Justin Bieber has gone nuts. Justin Bieber needs to grow some stones. That Justin Bieber kidnap plot sure took balls to pull off.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  25. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 12,2012 10:32 pm

    I am kinda tired of the hand wringing over runned up scores

    Its no fun to be on the losing end of that, but its also no fun to be on the winning end. if you were to play a slow down game, you may as well not play the game.

    I think the women on the losing team know they are not better than the winning team going in, so why is it a problem when they lose big?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 9:41 am || Up

      Because these are high school kids and it’s cruel to embarrass them like that?

      • dmoas Dec 13,2012 9:55 am || Up

        If they care that much, institute a mercy rule.

        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 10:00 am || Up

          Who do you mean by “they”? The coach of the team with terrible players can’t do that unilaterally, unless you want her to forfeit.

          To me the only way this outcome is acceptable is if the coach of the winning team played his five worst players for the entire second half and most of the first, and told them to never fast break, use most of the shot clock on every possession etc., and they still got to 100 points. I agree that they should still have been shooting, because to do otherwise would be more humiliating than the blowout.

          • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 13,2012 10:08 am || Up

            I disagree with this. Yes, put in the bench players, but you have to let them play the game. This is, after all, their chance to get game experience.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 10:09 am || Up

              Put them in early in the first half and let them do their thing. Once you’re up by 50 the lesson they need to learn is not about how to run the break, it’s about sportsmanship.

          • dmoas Dec 13,2012 10:16 am || Up

            They is the league.

            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 10:21 am || Up

              My position is the coach of the superior team has a responsibility to handle this matchup in a way that both respects the game and doesn’t unnecessarily humiliate the obviously inferior opponent. It’s not an impossible task. He shouldn’t need a mercy rule to force him not to be a dick.

              • dmoas Dec 13,2012 10:29 am || Up

                I view it as the league AND the shitty team’s responsibility. If you know you’re team sucks and is only going to embarrass themselves, there’s really no point in putting your players through it. After fighting for a full half, the coach needs to step up for his players and say “I’m not going to put you guys through this anymore.” Bad habits can be created (and injuries) as result of changing your game plan and your play style. That’s not fair to put a team that might be playing for something eventually through that. I get that you don’t want to show up a team and I get that you don’t want to teach kids to quit, but sometimes you do have to step up and put an end to this kind of thing.

                • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 10:32 am || Up

                  That’s a warped way to look at this, in my opinion. Again, these are school kids. The losing coach should be applauded for teaching her players that you don’t quit no matter how badly things are going. The opposing coach should be criticized for not teaching his players that there is a time to take your foot off the gas so as not to humiliate people not blessed with your particular talents.

                • dmoas Dec 13,2012 11:05 am || Up

                  You can teach kids not to quit without making them suffer through this kind of thing. There’s nothing gained from this sort of “humiliation.” Hell, just the fact that you’re calling it humiliating kind of supports my point. It’s like shitting yourself in front of crowd and having your parents tell you to stand there and shut up. There’s a line between not quitting and saving face. It’s where the adult representing them needs to step in and put a stop to it in their place.

              • MikeV MikeV Dec 13,2012 10:31 am || Up

                I mean, we’re talking about a basketball team that scored 2 points in an entire game. Both on free throws.

                Perhaps they shouldn’t be playing.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • Soaker Soaker Dec 13,2012 10:55 am || Up

                  Here’s the bit from the Indianapolis Star on the scheduling of the game:

                  Bloomington South played Arlington in 2004-05 and won by 10 points, so Winters said he didn’t hesitate scheduling the Golden Knights.

                  Arlington’s enrollment, however, has dropped significantly since 2004-05, to about 600. The school was taken over by a private company before this season, causing many students to transfer to remain in Indianapolis Public Schools.

                  Wonnell said Arlington officials decided to honor existing contracts to play other schools while realizing it could lead to mismatches.

                  “As a school, we want to live up to our commitments,” he said. “There’s some heavy hitters on our schedule. As we move forward, we’ll look to schedule more schools with similar enrollments and similar skill sets.”

                  I’d suggest to the Arlington people that they might want to put a higher priority on their commitment to their own students to put them in environments where they can compete effectively than on their scheduling commitments to other schools…if they want to stay in business as a private school.

                • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 13,2012 12:19 pm || Up

                  so, school privatiztion is to blame.

                  I don’t think it was “humiliating” for the losing kids.

                  ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE:
                  I have been many losing teams in my scholastic career, in fact I have never been on one that won more than it lost. We knew we were bad, we knew we were going to lose. We didn’t care much because it was fun to play.

                  If the kids were told that they were embarrassed, then they may feel that way, if they weren’t told that, they likely think its funny, as most teenagers would.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • dmoas Dec 13,2012 12:24 pm || Up

                  I’ve been in the same boat. Only two of my teams in sports were ever any good. The rest stunk it up something furious. Not sure having us play through it all helped me in the least bit. Also didn’t hurt me either.

              • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 13,2012 12:13 pm || Up

                it is a league problem. a mismatch like this should not be scheduled. If its because they are in the same league, they shouldn’t be.

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
  26. MikeV MikeV Dec 13,2012 1:42 pm
    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 1:47 pm || Up

      For ESPN that kind of crazy inflammatory BS is a feature, not a bug.

      • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 13,2012 1:58 pm || Up

        yeah.

        Wow that is so so racist.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 13,2012 7:16 pm || Up

          Beyond the incredible RAYCESSNESS, what gives with just gratuitously insulting this guy, who by all appearances is just a really solid dude and a model of what we would like all athletes to be?Comparing him to Tiger Woods for absolutely no reason? The whole thing is sick.

          • dmoas Dec 13,2012 9:39 pm || Up

            There was a whole lot of awfulness wrapped up in such a short moment of idiocy.

    • doctorK doctorK Dec 13,2012 2:56 pm || Up

      I’m with this guy:

      cliffordc05 says: Dec 13, 2012 3:12 PM

      I can’t believe that I agree with Stephen S. A. Smith.

      • doctorK doctorK Dec 13,2012 2:58 pm || Up

        Also, this:

        thompgk says: Dec 13, 2012 3:16 PM

        Think this guy gets Limbaugh’d? Nope.

        • andeux andeux Dec 13,2012 3:50 pm || Up

          TINSTAAFK
          • nobody in particular Dec 13,2012 4:42 pm || Up

            OH, SNAP!!!!

            McCarthy has a career as an analyst if his arm ever falls off. He could be the Andy Rooney or Lewis Black of MLB Network.

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 13,2012 7:14 pm || Up

      Did somebody say a cornball brother?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  27. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 13,2012 2:21 pm

    Holy shit what a dumbass.

    Nikki Haley goes to facebook with oppo research on….Stephen Colbert

    do the click through both to the source and the FB post.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 4:32 pm || Up

      I simultaneously like her more and respect her less. I didn’t either was possible.

  28. MikeV MikeV Dec 13,2012 3:09 pm

    You know, when advertising a two story home for rent, it may in fact be a good idea to mention that you in fact have a tenant renting the upstairs, doors with separate keys off the entryway to the upstairs and downstairs, and that the rent is only for the lower floor.

    I’m not even sure if it’s legal to do that actually.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  29. brian.only Dec 13,2012 4:00 pm

    Been eagerly awaiting the trailer for Guillermo Del Toro’s latest offering, part Robotech, part Kaiju (Godzilla) and it looks pretty good so far.
    Here’s to hoping its better than Prometheus.

  30. elcroata elcroata Dec 13,2012 10:38 pm

    I got Daimler to pay more than $7,500 to build the carpentry for my kids in Africa. I’m celebrating in an egocentric fashion

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=fxx0fE6iYEk” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

    All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
    • ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 10:48 pm || Up

      That is really awesome!

      What carpentry?

      • elcroata elcroata Dec 13,2012 10:54 pm || Up

        The children home that I support has a very small and old carpentry within the home complex. With this project, it will be significantly enlarged and equipped, so that every kid in the home can have a sort of introductory course and older kids who decide so can learn how to become carpenters. We are also funding a hiring of a local teacher/carpenter to run it and enabling the home to produce some chairs, desks not only to cover their own needs but also to sell on the local markets.

        All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
        • ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 11:16 pm || Up

          Wow, that is really cool. What a great project to be a part of.

          Now about this $7500. How many dollars above replacement is that? Is it currency-adjusted?

          • elcroata elcroata Dec 13,2012 11:25 pm || Up

            Too bad Bed, our resident VORP expert, is not available to analyze this

            All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
            • ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 11:46 pm || Up

              Speaking of which, HEY BED! If you’re lurking, Mele Kalikimaka!

        • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 14,2012 8:04 am || Up

          I’ve never heard the term “carpentry” in English to describe a Carpenter’s shop/workshop before. I like it.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2012 8:35 am || Up

            Ooops. What does carpentry then mean?

            All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
            • PDXAthleticsfan PDXAthleticsfan Dec 14,2012 8:45 am || Up

              Carpentry refers to a general name for the trade. As in, “What kind of work do you do?” “I’m in carpentry.” Of course, no one actually talks like that, but that’s the idea. In common American English, a “carpentry” as you refer to it would probably just be called a “wood workshop,” or something similar. However, your term is much more specific to the kind of workshop. I’m with Kay – your term is much better.

              A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
              • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2012 9:40 am || Up

                So is butchery, for example, a place where you buy meat or is it also only a trade?

                All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
                • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 14,2012 9:51 am || Up

                  The only time we use butchery typically is when describing Steve Sax’s defense..(or Barton at 3B, Wash talking about Hatty in spring training, etc..)

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2012 10:12 am || Up

                  Barton at 3B

                  HEY!

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • PDXAthleticsfan PDXAthleticsfan Dec 14,2012 10:01 am || Up

                  No, you say you go to “the butcher” or “the butcher’s.” Butchery is the trade, or as 5Aces describes it.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2012 11:19 am || Up

                  And in GB?

                  All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
                • Tutu-late Dec 14,2012 12:37 pm || Up

                  The only thing in GB are cheeseheads….☺

                • ptbnl Dec 14,2012 12:42 pm || Up

                  Same.

                  Carpentry is the activity, a carpenter is the person doing it, and a workshop is where they do it.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • brian.only Dec 14,2012 4:37 pm || Up

                  Or Wood-shop and often just ‘shop’, the carpentry class that happens in a wood-shop in grade school is widely referred to as ‘shop’ class.

                • ptbnl Dec 14,2012 8:42 pm || Up

                  Not in GB, which was the question.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • brian.only Dec 14,2012 8:43 pm || Up

                  Whoops, what i get for glossing over threads…

                • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2012 11:31 pm || Up

                  As a kid, I grew up spending about half of the time with my parents in the capital and half of the time in my Grandma’s house on the island. Whenever I would be told by my parents that I said something wrong, I would answer, “but that’s how we say it in Nerezine!” (the village on the island).

                  So, I guess in Nerezine, we say “carpentry”

                  All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
                • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 15,2012 8:39 am || Up

                  I figured that maybe in one or more of your languages, a carpenter’s business/place of business/workshop would be called a “Carpentry,” and it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if English evolved to accept such use of the word.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • dmoas Dec 15,2012 9:48 am || Up

                  It’s simpler and less verbose than saying carpenter’s workshop.

                • ozzman99 Dec 15,2012 11:24 pm || Up

                  I find it quite elegant. I might start using it.

  31. ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 11:17 pm

    I started watching Freaks And Geeks today. I’m only 4 episodes in and I’m already sad that there’s just the 1 season.

  32. ozzman99 Dec 13,2012 11:48 pm

    Odds are, if your roommate is on the phone at 245am calling her boyfriend a dumbass, you’re not gonna have a good day tomorrow.

    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 14,2012 8:05 am || Up

      I kinda think that if you have the type of boyfriend you have to call a dumbass at 245am, it’s time to find a new boyfriend.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 14,2012 8:19 am || Up

        Perhaps. OTOH, if you have the kind of boyfriend who will listen to you calling him a dumbass at 2:45 AM and still love you, maybe you keep that guy.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ozzman99 Dec 14,2012 1:39 pm || Up

        As a corollary, if your roommate’s boyfriend drunk dials her at 245am, you’re not gonna have a good day tomorrow.

    • Tutu-late Dec 14,2012 12:38 pm || Up

      Or, it could mean you are in for a good day, IF you are married to your roommate.

      • ozzman99 Dec 14,2012 1:40 pm || Up

        Pretty sure in that case that you’re gonna spend the rest of the night fighting with your roommate-wife.

        • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 14,2012 2:15 pm || Up

          unless you already knew.

          But in that even she probably has already forgiven the boyfriend and is now mad at you for bringing it up.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • ozzman99 Dec 14,2012 3:22 pm || Up

            Damn.

            Of course, if you refer to your wife as your roommate, you’ve already got underlying problems in your marriage.

  33. Soaker Soaker Dec 14,2012 5:06 pm

    This is sort of disappointing that the North Dakota State Bison play their home games in Fargo in the Fargodome. It seems like they’re forfeiting a pretty good home field advantage vs. Georgia Southern. Nice to see the Bison wearing Green and Gold though.

    • Soaker Soaker Dec 14,2012 5:36 pm || Up

      Also, Georgia Southern runs a modified Wishbone and ND State is usually in an I formation. What a throwback to the 70s.

  34. nobody in particular Dec 14,2012 8:44 pm

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=UugIhiy7Eos” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>
    If you let things get REAL quiet and you decide to stop listening to the voices the Death Machine has put into all our heads — the ones that tell us we are the most exceptional, the most advanced, the most justice-oriented nation ever created — well you can almost hear Nero resining up his little bow, can’t you?

    How many murders did we see on TV, before we were 5? How many subsequent to that? How much desensitizing gangster-glorifying media have we been exposed to, from Jimmy Cagney as “The Public Enemy” to The Notorious (and sadly, notoriously blown away) B.I.G.? How many parents will tremble in fear of the millions of deadly weapons on the streets today, and then tomorrow or next Tuesday rock right the fuck on over to Wal-Mart (essentially wage-slave labor, real shocker there) to get the first-person shooter game of their 9-year-old’s Yuletide dreams? How many useless, aggrandizing wars of slaughter-for-profit have we witnessed and been sold and taught to wave our phony flags (all made in China by more slaves, whaddaya know?!?!? Is this becoming a pattern for anyone yet?) for like the most gullible, terrified lemmings ever born? To “support the troops” as the beautiful, limitlessly-potentialled young are loaded into the unwinnable meat grinder yet again? Most if not all of these ginned-up, pure-profit-motivated wars are not MEANT to be won in the slightest — they were meant to be an ATM machine for the military/industrial/political/entertainment complex, and they will STILL be going on until the vicious animals that rule over this planet like the 1000-year-reign-of-Satan they represent have drained every last nickel from those ventures. And if we try and put a stop to them? Why, we’ll be killed too, and our deaths will be celebrated as the glorious triumph over the manifest threat to our “way of life”.

    Wanna know why? BECAUSE WE ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO LIVE SO WE CAN BE THEIR SLAVES in the neo-feudal “economy” of the future, that’s why. And they need more and more slaughter and the more and more confusion and suffering that it generates, so that their pillaged largesse can grow and grow for them and only them. Because people get smarter and more aware every day and it that means it takes COMPLETE CONTROL to convince the masses that they should go along with their own suicide like happy campers on the road to extermination. Yes, they’ll need those 3 corporations that own those 29,000 radio stations and those 30,000 TV stations and so on, because to really get people into the state where they’ll gladly accept working for 8 cents an hour, they have to make sure your consciousness is as malleable and as manipulable as they can possibly make it. Why, they might even construct a decades-long dog-and-pony show for us given these tools for long enough… one that illustrates to us exactly why we in our abjection and confusion and desperation are indeed the freest, most blessed people ever to walk the face of the Earth they have done everything in their power to destroy right out from underneath our feet as we slumbered. At any rate, their objective is to make a LOT of money, because they’ll be needing a lot to exploit and outright enslave the population to their genocidal whims, as is their goal whether the Stockholm Syndrome we serfs inhabit allows us to speak the truth about it or not.

    No, America Eats Its Young, and it will continue to congratulate itself and celebrate doing so as some sort of lunatic hybrid of an NFL halftime show and a twisted blood feast, until we fully and emphatically reject the infantile, prefabricated notion WITH ACTION AND NOT EMPTY WORDS LIKE THESE that we can live in infinite consumerist hypnotic bliss at the expense of a planet that features demonstrably finite resources, whether the fantasy world we inhabit can support that realization or not.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Dec 15,2012 8:49 am || Up

      Hugs.

      This reality is not nearly as real as you think it is. Individual existence is an illusion… one to be valued and experienced and savored… but an illusion nonetheless.

      The reality you dream of requires just as much of a loss of freedom as does the corporate enslavement reality model. Hivemindedness is hivemindedness, whether it be under controlled corporate networks or under blissful psychedelic telepathy. Individual sovereignty is a recipe for dysfunction and misery. I don’t know if there’s a sustainable sweet spot in between the two.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  35. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 15,2012 9:04 am
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • elcroata elcroata Dec 15,2012 10:19 am || Up

      Loved the story, thanks.

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!

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