Thursday Grill ← FREE KRAUT!

Thursday Grill 387

Because the old one was getting too big.

1) McAfee caught in Guatemala.

2) Speaking of Guatemala, Mayapocalypse point and counterpoint.

3) “Stop lecturing the rest of us and, dammit, get to fking.”

387 thoughts on “Thursday Grill

  1. Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 2:43 pm

    3) Never forget:

    One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend’s parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point–”Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?” she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t sure what to say, but then I wasn’t sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered–”You know, I’m on the pill…”

  2. dmoas Dec 6,2012 2:53 pm

    #2, everyone and their brother knows that the world ends on Dec 31, 2099. So sayeth Microsoft’s calender.

  3. Jennifer Dec 6,2012 2:59 pm

    I’ve created my own Justice League:

    • Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 3:03 pm || Up

    • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 3:04 pm || Up

      Severely badass.

      • Jennifer Dec 6,2012 3:11 pm || Up

        Thanks. I need Cap and Thor, and possibly Wonder Woman.

        • dmoas Dec 6,2012 3:12 pm || Up

          And Joss Wheddon.

          • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 3:14 pm || Up

            And Captain Underpants.

            • dmoas Dec 6,2012 3:53 pm || Up

              I thought that went without saying.

              • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 4:10 pm || Up

                Nothing goes without saying around here.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 4:47 pm || Up

                  I like to masturbate.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 4:51 pm || Up

                  One should never rely on others for their happiness…

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 5:15 pm || Up

                  That *should* go without saying.

                • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 6:47 pm || Up

                  We take a hands-on approach.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:03 pm || Up

                  I only need one at a time. You must be hung like a stud field mouse!

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:18 pm || Up

                  No, he just has very small hands.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:23 pm || Up

                  Ah…that explains many things!

                • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 8:02 pm || Up

                  I don’t wanna brag, but there are at least 4 species of beetles that envy me.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 8:12 pm || Up

                  You truly are a legend!

                • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 8:18 pm || Up

                  You don’t know the half of it.

                • Kay Dec 6,2012 9:12 pm || Up

                  The second hand is for the nipple, but most men are either not sensitive or way too sensitive there, so pish posh to that, huh?

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 10:44 pm || Up

                  Expert Tip: I like the chest hair fluffed and petted. The nipple is part of that fun.

                • beebo Dec 6,2012 10:55 pm || Up

                  [cue George Takei saying, “Ohhh, my!”]

        • MikeV Dec 6,2012 3:43 pm || Up

          you ARE wonder woman.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Jennifer Dec 6,2012 4:11 pm || Up

            Boobs for you.

            • MikeV Dec 6,2012 4:14 pm || Up

              pix or stfu

              but not here. I’m at work. I have a phone though.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

            • desmarestia Dec 6,2012 9:34 pm || Up

              I want boobs!……Oh wait I have them – never mind!! LOL

              • Kay Dec 6,2012 9:49 pm || Up

                High five!

                \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • dmoas Dec 6,2012 10:45 pm || Up

                Me too!!!

              • MikeV Dec 7,2012 8:57 am || Up

                PROVE IT

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

    • Jennifer Dec 6,2012 3:10 pm || Up

      L-R, in case you can’t tell:

      Hulk, Iron Man, Teddy Roosevelt, Lincoln, Batman, Bane, Mark Ellis

    • Kylianna Dec 7,2012 1:32 am || Up

      I trust them to fight ALL THE CRIME.

  4. ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 3:16 pm

    3.) So, if you have babies you can’t afford then you’re selfish. And if you don’t have babies you can’t afford, then you’re selfish.

    • dmoas Dec 6,2012 3:53 pm || Up

      And we’re dealing with overpopulation, so you’re selfish.

      • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 4:12 pm || Up

        And you can’t have contraception or abortions. So I guess your only choices are abstinence or children you don’t want or can’t afford.

  5. ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 3:20 pm

    To nap, or not to nap; that is the question:
    Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous conciousness,
    Or to close eyes against a sea of troubles,
    And by opposing end them?

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 6,2012 3:43 pm || Up

      To sleep–perchance to dream, (ay, or out one even rub)
      For in that sleep of naps wet what dreams may come
      When we have shuffled off to the couch,
      Must give us pause.

  6. Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 3:51 pm
    • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 4:15 pm || Up

      Mitch McConnell is a farce.

      • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 4:19 pm || Up

        At the same time, Congress would be stupid to give any president power to raise the debt on his own.

        • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 4:23 pm || Up

          Well, yes. But how about spending your time working out a compromise instead of trying to embarrass the other side and then actually embarrassing yourself? This is the kind of stuff that makes people hate politicians. It’s pretty obvious that McConnell is less interested in doing his duty to the American people (or at least the people of Kentucky) and more interested in serving his corporate masters party leaders.

        • Future Ed Dec 6,2012 4:23 pm || Up

          but that’s not what the debt ceiling is. The money was appoved my congress and the debt ceiling is the limit on what the president (as part of his constitutionally mandated execution of the budget) can pay out.

          The service has been done the products have been bought, but without a rising limit, the country is saying “We will not pay for that service/product”

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 4:39 pm || Up

            I’m not saying it shouldn’t be raised, necessarily. I’m saying it is THEIR job to do so or not. That’s what we put them in office for. I personally want the 535 members of congress to do their job. I DON’T want a single person to make the decision. This is one of the main problems in DC. People won’t take responsibility for their actions.

            • dmoas Dec 6,2012 5:11 pm || Up

              Disagree. *THEY* already did their job and approved the expenditures. Simply automatically allowing it to raise in concert is simply a necessity for debtor trust. It’s the equivalent of a husband taking out a loan, spending all the money and then telling his wife she can’t pay the loan back.

              • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 5:58 pm || Up

                Not in a checks and balances system. I want the same people saying “Spend!” to be the ones to explain why we have to go further into debt. The “automatic” way makes it tuu easy to play the partisan blame game.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 6:58 pm || Up

                  Wait. Congress approves the expenditures in their budgets. Then the President approves said expenditures. There’s your checks and balance. You have to buy for what you purchase. Having to play games to get approval is like pretending you don’t have to pay for you’ve already bought. Any checks and balances over the spending needs to happen WELL BEFORE idea debt ceiling.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:05 pm || Up

                  That’s what I said. Congress needs to approve the debt increase BEFORE spending the money.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:18 pm || Up

                  But they already have.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:24 pm || Up

                  Kind of.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:28 pm || Up

                  How have they not? The debt ceiling is only to pay what they owe based on the approval of every little thing they’ve spent on, including any APR due to our borrowing. It nothing to do with approving debt increases, that was all done in the past by congress when they originally approved what they spent that on and what they failed to bring in to pay it.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:37 pm || Up

                  You and I just look at it differently. To me, it is like the prop system we were talking about earlier. They need to find a way to pay for it BEFORE spending it. There isn’t an endless source of revenue.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:54 pm || Up

                  Well, sure. I don’t disagree that they need to do that, but failing having done that, they still have to pay for it. A bill is a bill. Pretending you don’t have to pay a bill because you failed to balance your budget is foolish at best.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:57 pm || Up

                  Yeah, paying isn’t my issue. Never-ending increased spending is.

                • Tutu-late Dec 6,2012 7:57 pm || Up

                  Baseline budgeting is insane.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 9:03 pm || Up

                  No disagreement there. Smart, rational spending is what’s necessary. Only problem is agreeing on what that spending should be on.

                • the llama Dec 7,2012 9:14 pm || Up

                  How ’bout a shortstop?

                • Tutu-late Dec 8,2012 6:26 am || Up

                  hehehe

                • nevermoor Dec 7,2012 1:20 am || Up

                  Would it effect your opinion if you learned that the debt ceiling is a modern invention? It fundamentally doesn’t make sense to force action twice on the same spending, particularly where the consequences would be so bad the second time

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Tutu-late Dec 7,2012 7:15 am || Up

                  No, because I don’t approve of the irresponsible spending. Which is why many like me want to require all governments to have mandatory balanced budgets, that require separate votes to increase taxes.

                • dmoas Dec 7,2012 7:39 am || Up

                  I kind of feel like you’re confusing the notion of irresponsible budgeting (when the actual shit was approved) and actually taking responsibility for your irresponsibility (raising the debt ceiling to actually pay for what you irresponsibly approved).

                • Tutu-late Dec 7,2012 7:48 am || Up

                  Probably.

                • Kay Dec 7,2012 8:52 am || Up

                  A balanced budget in a time of recession tends to FK the economy over and stall recovery.

                  I’m more for aiming for a balance over a longer period of time, as opposed to year to year. That way, government can (not that they will) do the right thing, and go austere during booms, saving up money to spend on stimulus and lots of temporary hiring during recessions.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 8:53 am || Up

                  I agree. Very KAYnesian of you.

                • 5Aces Dec 7,2012 9:44 am || Up

                  Kay I was thinking the exact thing while reading through here. I am much closer to Tu and Llama but I would have no issue with such an approach. But the problem would end up being those 4 words in parenthesis. In the end I think both parties would support the doing things to give out crap during busts (be it stimulus, lowering taxes, whatever) but once we got to the boom no one would be willing to (cut the spending, raise the taxes) to build up that rainy day fund.

                  The only way I can think it would work would be strict definitions that say when x indicators hit this you can now spend more, you must tax more, whatever. But I am sure that no one set of indicators would give what we need and it just changes the arguement to wether this situation is “special” and we should ignore the rules…

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 10:26 am || Up

                  Well that’s exactly what happened when Bush II took office. He had a budget surplus, but instead of saving it or paying down debt, he decided on a tax rebate (my cynical side says he was trying to buy better approval ratings; remember that his approval ratings were in the toilet from the moment he was elected until 9/11) that put us right back in the hole again.

                • Tutu-late Dec 7,2012 10:39 am || Up

                  @ozzman
                  There is plenty of blame on both sides during those years.

                • colin Dec 7,2012 10:46 am || Up

                  Does anyone have a good example of a country that has really followed a counter-cycle fiscal policy — not just spending to support the economy in downturns, but also intentionally running surpluses in good economic times? My guess is that some of the Scandanavian countries have pulled this off, or maybe Australia.

                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 10:50 am || Up

                  @Tutu: I agree only in that Dems pretty much let Reps run roughshod over them in the name of compromise and bipartisanship. A little good old-fashioned right wing obstructionism of the 2009-present variety would’ve served the nation well. Instead, a president who lost the majority of the popular vote pretended he had a mandate to force his ideology on us. And his part perfected their “It’s our way or no way at all” mentality that they still practice today.

                • Tutu-late Dec 7,2012 11:09 am || Up

                  sigh-
                  The Dems controlled BOTH houses from 2007 until Obama was elected. During that time they increased the debt by over $2T. Pelosi averaged that same amount EVERY year she controlled the House. The Dem-controlled Senate has REFUSED to pass a budget in years. “Continuing Resolutions” is flat out BS. That is NOT acceptable!

                • dmoas Dec 7,2012 11:15 am || Up

                  Tutu, at that time, the economy needed money flowing through it and it was ready to altogether stop. If they cut the debt instead, we’d probably be in a depression right now.

                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 11:15 am || Up

                  Ah, but Reps controlled both houses for the 1st 6 years of Bush’s presidency. How much did they add to the national debt during those years? Besides, you can’t call out the increase in the debt from 2008 onward without acknowledging that the economy had collapsed and tax collection fell. You also can’t ignore the fact that the country was fighting 2 wars and that military expenditures account for more than half of federal spending. Who started those wars again? Which party keeps pushing for more defense spending, even when the Pentagon doesn’t want more money?

                • Tutu-late Dec 7,2012 11:28 am || Up

                  You keep saying it is always the other guys fault, without taking responsibility for for the Dems’ failures. When Clinton had two years of balanced budgets, it was because of Bill’s genius! The Rep controlled congress had nothing to do with it, obviously! Sounds like you want it only your way. As for ramrodding, Obama himself said, “Sure they(Republicans) can come along for the ride. But, they have to sit in the back seat!” WOW, he sure showed some good ol’ bipartisanship, didn’t he? So, maybe I will have to agree…ALL SUCCESSES ARE BECAUSE OF DEMS, AND ALL FAILURES ARE BECAUSE OF REPS. NO matter HOW far in the past Bush’s term is, all failures are his fault. All of Obama’s/Dems’ programs are honorable, and all failures of those programs are the other party’s fault.

                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 2:09 pm || Up

                  Yes, that’s exactly what I said. And of course, it’s ridiculous to think that any of Bush’s policies could have effects that lasted past the day he left office. We should also blame Bush’s failures on the party that was in the minority in Congress for 75% of his time as president. While we’re at it, we should also blame the Dems for Reagan’s deficit spending. After all, they controlled Congress (well, the House anyway). Never mind that the budget bills they passed actually had less spending in them than the bills Reagan proposed. Let’s just call them “tax and spend” Dems and pretend it actually makes sense.

                  Seriously, Tutu. Show me the evidence that Republicans have been more fiscally responsible than Democrats since Reagan took office. You’re accusing me of being partisan (and you accuse Obama of the same, which is hilarious since Republicans have made absolutely no effort to compromise since the day he was elected president the first time; meanwhile, Obama has given in to Republican demands at virtually every turn), but trying to pin conservative failures on liberals is simply being intellectually dishonest.

                • Tutu-late Dec 7,2012 2:44 pm || Up

                  Actually, my point was that this entire discussion had NOTHING to do with political parties until you brought it up!!!! This was an intellectual discussion on how to best fix this country’s problems. In your response, you once again refuse to admit that the Dems have been part of the systemic problem. You think the answer is to be MORE partisan.

                  I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MESS, BECAUSE THEY ALL ARE!!!!!!!!!THAT THE PROBLEM WITH DC!!! ITS ALL ABOUT GETTING RE-ELECTED, AND PAYING OFF YOUR BACKERS! The losers are the rest of us, Dems, Repubs, and Libertatians alike.

                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:18 pm || Up

                  Actually, I brought up an individual, our previous president. You then proceeded to place blame on parties. And sure, I’m partisan and so are you. I support the group that has good ideas for fixing the problems. They happen to be a political party.

                • Kay Dec 7,2012 5:24 pm || Up

                  Hmm…

                  When I read between the lines, I think a lot of Tutu’s arguments are against endemic human corruption, more than they’re about partisan politics.

                  Frankly, I think it’s best to learn to live with endemic human corruption and account for it in fiscal and social models, as opposed to bitch about its’ effects in relation to “how things ought to be.”

                  Of course, someday when we’re fully integrated with each other and the interwebs and we can feel each others’ thoughts and emotions and privacy is an archaic and quaint curiosity from the past, we can then begin to learn to live in the post-corruption era.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  7. sslinger Dec 6,2012 3:58 pm
    • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 4:17 pm || Up

      This whole “is the world ending” thing is really messing with my internal debate on whether or not to buy Christmas gifts this year.

      • PDXAthleticsfan Dec 6,2012 4:30 pm || Up

        You could use the wait-and-see approach, then fight off the crowds on Christmas Eve. Now THAT would be my own personal version of the apocalypse.

        A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
        • dmoas Dec 6,2012 5:11 pm || Up

          I don’t even think I have any gifts to buy this year. Go me!!!

          • Kay Dec 6,2012 5:46 pm || Up

            That sounds a little bit sad, but I’m a little bit envious, too.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
            • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:00 pm || Up

              I prefer it this way. It’s not like I couldn’t find someone to play the “Tell me what to buy you or I’ll buy you something you don’t need” game. But we’re all broke and why bother spending money none of us have to buy things none of us need/want. Better to spend the time together and let that be that.

              • beebo Dec 6,2012 7:13 pm || Up

                I’m abiding by that philosophy this year, too. But I kind of miss being able to give certain people things that I know they’d like/need/enjoy.

                • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:19 pm || Up

                  Do that on a non-holiday just randomly. It’ll mean a lot more.

                • Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 7:20 pm || Up

                  So true.

                • beebo Dec 6,2012 10:39 pm || Up

                  Totally. And I used to, when I could afford it. Hopefully those days will return soon.

                • the llama Dec 7,2012 9:15 pm || Up

                  So *creepy*

        • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 6:49 pm || Up

          Maybe I’ll wait and then, if necessary, just give away stuff from around the house. Who wants a Sharpie?

          • dmoas Dec 6,2012 7:00 pm || Up

            Depends. What color?

            • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 8:04 pm || Up

              Much like a Model T, you can have any color you want as long as it’s black.

      • batgirl Dec 6,2012 5:46 pm || Up

        I had one under my belt (for my sister-in-law) and then my bro emailed and asked if we could skip exchanging gifts this year, so there went that one down the drain. I went ahead and made a list, crossing off my SIL and BRO, just so I could feel I’ve accomplished something.

        • Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 5:48 pm || Up

          BRO, do you even gift?

          • MikeV Dec 7,2012 8:57 am || Up

            OATZ N SQUATZ.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

  8. Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 4:13 pm

    Important public opinion research finding:

    The 39% of Americans with an opinion about Bowles/Simpson is only slightly higher than the 25% with one about Panetta/Burns, a mythical Clinton Chief of Staff/former western Republican Senator combo we conceived of to test how many people would say they had an opinion even about something that doesn’t exist.

    • andeux Dec 6,2012 4:17 pm || Up

      49% of GOP voters nationally say they think that ACORN stole the election for President Obama. We found that 52% of Republicans thought that ACORN stole the 2008 election for Obama, so this is a modest decline, but perhaps smaller than might have been expected given that ACORN doesn’t exist anymore.

      TINSTAAFK
    • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 4:18 pm || Up

      I have no opinion on Camilla Parker Bowles and Jessica Simpson. Consenting adults and all that.

      • doctorK Dec 6,2012 4:47 pm || Up

        That generated a mental image that screamed out DO NOT WANT.

    • Future Ed Dec 6,2012 4:18 pm || Up

      but only 7% approval rating for Panetta/Burns

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2012 4:33 pm || Up

        Patience, Monty. Climb the ladder…

        • Englishmajor Dec 6,2012 5:02 pm || Up

          Actually, a lot of those people thought it was

          • Englishmajor Dec 6,2012 5:07 pm || Up

            (Not that I should talk, since I did a spit-take when I heard the NFL announcer introduce Mychael Urban as part of the Thursday Night Football panel. Oh, Michael Irvin? Never mind.)

          • Future Ed Dec 7,2012 4:14 am || Up
            I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 10:35 am || Up

            Why is Panetta saluting Hitler?

  9. Soaker Dec 6,2012 9:21 pm

    I’m reminded that spring training tickets for games at Phoenix Muni are on sale (with the usual online fees) tomorrow at 10 a.m. I’ll be buying for the Friday Giants game and the two weekend games there during the planned trip. The other two on-sale dates I care about are December 17 (Surprise for Royals/Rangers) and January 5 (Talking Stick for Rockies/Dbacks).

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Kay Dec 6,2012 9:50 pm || Up

      I have to upgrade my computer if I want to listen to spring training next year. Grr.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  10. Soaker Dec 6,2012 9:39 pm

    This must have been answered somewhere. The obvious question for me is, what the FK is going on in North Dakota?

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • brian.only Dec 6,2012 9:43 pm || Up

      Maybe its Devils Tower?

    • Kay Dec 6,2012 9:53 pm || Up

      artificially lit oilfields?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Soaker Dec 6,2012 10:00 pm || Up

        That’s the only explanation I could think of. The thing is the size of Chicago, Dallas-Fort Worth or Atlanta but not nearly as bright.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • beebo Dec 6,2012 10:42 pm || Up

          That was my first thought. When was this taken? I’ve heard that ND has gotten a significant population boost on account of their energy boom.

    • andeux Dec 6,2012 9:54 pm || Up

      Construction on the NAFTA superhighway?

      TINSTAAFK
    • dmoas Dec 6,2012 10:46 pm || Up

      I think that’s southern Canada.

    • ozzman99 Dec 6,2012 11:26 pm || Up

      Cows lighting their farts?

  11. brian.only Dec 6,2012 9:39 pm

    I just saw the black version of FK for about 30 seconds that someone mentioned a couple of days ago, its kinda spooky and it wont let you log in.
    Its the FK “blueballs” skin.

  12. ptbnl Dec 6,2012 11:18 pm

    So LIGO happened.

    Caltech’s laser development has benefited from the proximity of the cosmetic surgery industry, and dinner last night was interrupted by a panelist’s wife texting “Michelle and me” shots from the White House.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • the llama Dec 7,2012 9:18 pm || Up

      You are a cosm(et)ologist…

    • colin Dec 8,2012 12:01 pm || Up

      Ice Cube brought temporary tattoos with them this year and I am super jealous.

      Neutrino LIFE

  13. lenscrafters Dec 7,2012 9:46 am

    I wish the Dbacks would come to their senses and stop shopping Upton.

    • vignette17 Dec 7,2012 10:19 am || Up

      And in a market so saturated with OF… I’m hoping that if he does get sent to Texas they extract fair value, but I would be surprised.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 7,2012 10:30 am || Up

      If the Rangers get him without giving up Profar or Andrus I will not be happy.

      Actually, if they get him at all I won’t be happy.

      • brian.only Dec 8,2012 11:03 am || Up

        At least both the the Angels and the Rangers have gotten weaker in the offseason.
        Really hope they miss out on Grienke.

        • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 11:09 am || Up

          Greinke is my worry either way. did you see stupid grant’s rangers piece?

          Except, wait a sec, check out the Rangers’ lineup right now. That’s Nelson Cruz hitting cleanup, which I guess could be worse. David Murphy hitting fifth is a little quirky, but that’s nothing compared to Michael Young hitting sixth. He might not even be on the team by the time this is published, which probably means Mike Olt is the guy. Then there’s Mitch Moreland, Geovany Soto … huh.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • brian.only Dec 8,2012 11:22 am || Up

            My biggest worry is Olt and Profar running away w/ it by the end of the year.

            • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 11:25 am || Up

              I get that fear, if both of them hit, its game over for a while.

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • vignette17 Dec 8,2012 3:06 pm || Up

                They’ve lost Hamilton (maybe), Napoli, and Young (who regardless of how he hit last year, kills us). Olt has K problems and Profar, while very good, likely isn’t that much better than Andrus.

                • brian.only Dec 8,2012 7:24 pm || Up

                  Profar is projected for power, Bill James has him for 16 HR’s and a .160 ISO, trimming that back a bit ( we all know Bill’s generous/ optimistic ) thats still great production from a SS and miles beyond what Andrus is providing, add that the boy still cant purchase alcohol legally we very well may see more yet.

                  He also has posted some really low K rates ( 12-14% w/ a 10% + BB rate )over 1000 AB’s in the minors and has legit speed, he could be a real threat on the base paths.

                  ALSO GRIENKE SIGNED W/ LOS DOYERS, WOOHOOO!!!!!!

                • vignette17 Dec 8,2012 8:15 pm || Up

                  Andrus has been a 4 win player the last couple of years. I’d be hard pressed to project any rookie for that. I do think Profar will be a good player, but not necessarily immediately.

  14. colin Dec 7,2012 10:27 am

    So… this is the place that we moved my dad into last month — link

    • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 10:34 am || Up

      Damn. I hope she didn’t steal from your dad.

      • colin Dec 7,2012 10:37 am || Up

        I don’t think it’s possible since he doesn’t have any money. Actually we’re hoping that it shakes things up for the better, because we haven’t been really impressed with management for the first month.

        • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 10:43 am || Up

          Doesn’t sound like it could get much worse. Unless a meat pie shop opens up nearby.

    • ptbnl Dec 7,2012 10:36 am || Up

      Well that’s less than reassuring :-(

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Future Ed Dec 7,2012 12:08 pm || Up

      elder care is a shitty underpaid job. It is going to happen everywhere. It sucks. it happens.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  15. vignette17 Dec 7,2012 10:30 am

    An old but interesting look at how a trade happens from Business Week: link

  16. ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 10:44 am

    OMGodfrey, he’s gone. It’s gotta hurt, getting traded for a guy that was almost instantly DFA’d.

  17. Future Ed Dec 7,2012 2:01 pm

    I love shit like this, story of Clooneys at 25th and Valencia

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  18. Future Ed Dec 7,2012 2:21 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • dmoas Dec 7,2012 2:23 pm || Up

      Sigh… At least you went to an okay place.

      • brian.only Dec 8,2012 11:04 am || Up

        A frequent trading partner no less.

        • Kay Dec 8,2012 11:22 am || Up

          Foreshadowing a second stint, eh?

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 2:24 pm || Up

      FKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFK

      I do not like this. At all.

    • JamesV Dec 7,2012 2:25 pm || Up

      Fuck everything. I wanted him here for life, everything else be damned.

      • Kay Dec 7,2012 5:33 pm || Up

        yeah, pretty much.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 12:17 pm || Up

        It’s like you read my mind and transcribed it.

      • Future Ed Dec 9,2012 12:31 pm || Up

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • dmoas Dec 9,2012 1:58 pm || Up

          I’ve had movements like that. They feel like… victory!

    • Future Ed Dec 7,2012 2:26 pm || Up

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Dec 7,2012 2:30 pm || Up

      Well, shit. I’m happy at least that he’s not on a team I have to root against, and that he can recommence making fun of Cahill on twitter.

    • 5Aces Dec 7,2012 2:31 pm || Up

      This bothers me more than Gomes. I understand-hell I understand both sides- but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 7,2012 2:39 pm || Up

      NOOOOOOOOOOOO

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 7,2012 2:56 pm || Up

        FKing Arizona is trying to be the Valley Fever A’s. Chavez, Penny, McCarthy, Cahill, Ziegler…

    • Kylianna Dec 7,2012 2:55 pm || Up

      I hate everyone and everything, forever.

      YOU PROMISED TO KEEP THE BAND TOGETHER, BILLY. YOU PROMISED.

      If anyone needs me, I will be chucking my McCarthy pendant against a wall while ugly crying and cradling the glass.

      • dmoas Dec 7,2012 2:58 pm || Up

        Shit. I really shouldn’t be turned on by that… should I?

        • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:23 pm || Up

          You aren’t when I do it.

            • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:31 pm || Up

              Do you want me to ugly cry some more? Do you?

              • dmoas Dec 7,2012 4:35 pm || Up

                Be my guest, but I won’t be turned on by it now matter how much you beg.

                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:36 pm || Up

                  That’s it. You better start checking your food for cayenne and mayo.

                • dmoas Dec 7,2012 4:53 pm || Up

                  I always do. People don’t know how to fking listen to an order.

                • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:59 pm || Up

                  Or they do, but no one likes you. I mean, at all.

                • dmoas Dec 7,2012 6:03 pm || Up

                  Everybody loves me. My mommy told me so.

                • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 12:18 pm || Up

                  No, she meant she loves everyone. If you know what I mean.

                • dmoas Dec 9,2012 1:59 pm || Up

                  Oh… you know what. Suddenly things make a lot more sense.

                • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 7:21 pm || Up

                  Thought you had a lot of “uncles,” didn’t you?

                • dmoas Dec 9,2012 7:22 pm || Up

                  No… older brothers.

    • nevermoor Dec 7,2012 9:53 pm || Up

      In case anyone needs a pick-me-up after this, there is at least one A’s fan who won’t miss Brandon.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • the llama Dec 7,2012 9:56 pm || Up

        Babies are best held as footballls,, btw.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 9,2012 4:36 pm || Up

          With the classic NFL Films dramatic music running through your head.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Tutu-late Dec 8,2012 6:24 am || Up

        What a cutie! Remember, they also give you a reason to take naps. “I’ll watch the baby for you, honey!”

      • batgirl Dec 8,2012 7:36 am || Up

        Ooooo gorgeous!!!!!

      • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 8:43 am || Up

        very cute

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • elcroata Dec 8,2012 8:50 am || Up

        Nice!

        Because survival is insufficient
      • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 12:19 pm || Up

        I dunno, she looks like she’s trying to form little fists to punch Billy in the face.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 9,2012 4:37 pm || Up

        Adorable. But I’m gonna go ahead and say what everyone’s thinking: she’ll look better in Green and Gold.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • nevermoor Dec 9,2012 5:22 pm || Up

          Three packs come with one GnG, that one, and one solid pink. The GnG one was dirty.

          Don’t blame me, blame MLB.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Tutu-late Dec 9,2012 5:42 pm || Up

            What did MLB have to do with her spit-take dirtying the GnG one? :)

            • nevermoor Dec 9,2012 8:47 pm || Up

              They rudely failed to sell me two GnG ones

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • Tutu-late Dec 10,2012 6:57 am || Up

                Good point! They should make good on it by sending you twu more free of charge!

              • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 8:21 am || Up

                No, you rudely failed to buy multiple 3-packs.

          • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 7:22 pm || Up

            Has she done this yet?

            • nevermoor Dec 9,2012 8:46 pm || Up

              No. She’d better get to it soon though.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 9:16 pm || Up

                If she doesn’t, you might want to make another.

              • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 10:11 am || Up

                She really is awfully cute, though.

      • Englishmajor Dec 11,2012 11:17 am || Up

        She can Bernie Lean!

        • nevermoor Dec 11,2012 12:26 pm || Up

          I hadn’t even seen that. Cool!

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • elcroata Dec 7,2012 11:54 pm || Up

      Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

      Well, at least it’s not LAAAA or NY or Boston or Giants or another monstrosity like that. And judged on the frequency of OAK-ARI trades, he’ll be back in green and gold by the ASB

      Because survival is insufficient
    • brian.only Dec 8,2012 11:06 am || Up

      Anyone see how much the contract is worth yet?

      • andeux Dec 8,2012 11:09 am || Up

        $15.5M

        TINSTAAFK
        • brian.only Dec 8,2012 11:24 am || Up

          Ugh…

          • brian.only Dec 8,2012 11:25 am || Up

            Seeing as we’re paying $0.78 for are rotation we could have easily done better than that.

      • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 11:10 am || Up

        $15.2 2 years

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 11:10 am || Up

          $15.5

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • elcroata Dec 8,2012 11:27 am || Up

            I’d given him an even twenty bucks and would not even have flinched. Feels good to be able to outbid an MLB team

            Because survival is insufficient
  19. Kylianna Dec 7,2012 2:59 pm

    Brandon just favorited my tweet about how no fanbase will love him the way we did. I am going be sobbing if anyone needs me.

    • beebo Dec 7,2012 4:03 pm || Up

      At least he didn’t go to the Angels. That’s really the only thing keeping me from ripping the couch apart.

      • Kylianna Dec 7,2012 4:09 pm || Up

        This is trufax. If he had to go somewhere else, the Diamondbacks isn’t the worst thing in the world.

        (Hellooooooooooooo rehab starts w/ the Reno Aces. ROAD TRIP ANYONE?)

        • MikeV Dec 7,2012 4:32 pm || Up

          I love you

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

        • Englishmajor Dec 11,2012 11:18 am || Up

          I want to see what Brandon tweets about Creepy the Giant Baseball.

          • Englishmajor Dec 11,2012 11:41 am || Up

            As soon as I typed that, I realized the meter was calling out for:

            Creepy the Giant Baseball
            Has a very scary face
            Popping up from the scoreboard
            Looking like he’ll eat the place

            All of the Reno Aces
            Wish they’d stayed in Double-A
            They want to make poor Creepy
            Spring a leak and blow away

            When Dan Straily came to pitch
            FKers went to see
            Creepy raised his giant head
            “What the fuck is THAT?” Ralph said.

            …but I’m stuck for the final verse, and have to go back to work now.

            • Soaker Dec 11,2012 2:13 pm || Up

              Then the city, it went bankrupt
              And the Aces moved away
              Creepy the Giant Baseball
              Won’t be filled with air today.

              What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  20. grover Dec 7,2012 3:05 pm

    2 years/$15.5 million.
    If anyone was interested…

    • MikeV Dec 7,2012 3:21 pm || Up

      $2.5M signing bonus, $4M salary in ’13, $9M in ’14

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • MikeV Dec 7,2012 3:22 pm || Up

      Also can we PLEASE find a way to get Trevor Bauer from Arizona. Please.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Kay Dec 7,2012 5:35 pm || Up

        Yeah, huh!?!

        That guy’s freaky cool.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • dmoas Dec 7,2012 3:30 pm || Up

      Shit. We could have done *THAT*.

      • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:24 pm || Up

        It’s ok, at least we kept Colon.

        • dmoas Dec 7,2012 4:30 pm || Up

          Don’t make me punch you.

          • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:32 pm || Up

            Don’t make me replace your toothpaste with mayonnaise.

            • dmoas Dec 7,2012 4:35 pm || Up

              Like I wouldn’t notice?

              • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:37 pm || Up

                Not until it’s too late.

                BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        • Kylianna Dec 7,2012 5:33 pm || Up

          I HATE YOU FOREVER

          WHY GOD WHY

          • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 12:20 pm || Up

            Why do you hate me? And why are you asking me why? How the hell would I know?

      • lenscrafters Dec 7,2012 6:18 pm || Up

        Keep in mind the difference in taxes between AZ and CA meant that actually matching it for us would be around 2/17-18. I love McCarthy but I don’t know if I’d do that much for a guy who’s a risk to make it to 20 starts. And that’s also assuming McCarthy would choose us if everything was equal; maybe we’d have to top it in order to get him on board (so 2/~20).

        Nevertheless, I patiently wait for the A’s to make good on their promise to raise payroll.

        • Kylianna Dec 7,2012 6:50 pm || Up

          We could have paid the contract in liquor and just had Amanda fake her husband’s signature.

          THERE WERE SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.

  21. MikeV Dec 7,2012 3:33 pm

    Aw, man. :(

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

      • MikeV Dec 7,2012 3:39 pm || Up

        He favorited my tweet.

        squeeeeeeeeeeeee

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

    • Kylianna Dec 7,2012 3:42 pm || Up

      ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 7,2012 9:23 pm || Up

      WUH. He is the best.

  22. Glorious Mundy Dec 7,2012 3:58 pm

    Chipotle hacks:

    Execution is key. If you make your eventual position known from the start you’re going to lose this negotiation with Chipotle. Don’t leave money on the table. Answer the question with just one type of bean, like “black beans, please.” Timing matters. Wait for the beans to be applied to the burrito, then say “can I have pinto beans too?” This method ensures two full scoops of both. At first, you may feel more comfortable acting as if you had not yet considered that you’d like pinto beans too, until just the very moment in which you requested them. You’re still testing the waters. Later, you’ll get tired of keeping up appearances and just execute emotionlessly on the dual-bean option with perfect timing. You’re a rational creature now.

    • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:27 pm || Up

      Just found out recently that you can have them make a quesadilla-rrito. They make a quesadilla, then top it with the burrito fillings, then roll it up like a burrito. You have to pay for both a quesadilla and a burrito, but it sounds intriguing.

      • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:27 pm || Up

        Also, that’s just what I call it. If you try to order that they’ll probably think there’s something wrong with you.

      • Glorious Mundy Dec 7,2012 4:33 pm || Up

        That sounds impractical. Delicious, but impractical.

        • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:35 pm || Up

          I’ve seen it ordered, but I’ve never seen it eaten. If I ever try it, I’ll make sure to film the event.

          • Jennifer Dec 7,2012 4:44 pm || Up

            And I’ll film your death immediately following.

            • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:46 pm || Up

              No you won’t. If I’m dying, you have to show me your boobs.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 7,2012 9:25 pm || Up

        You’ve given me a reason to go to Chipotle again.

  23. ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:40 pm

    Dwayne Murphy. Mark McGwire. Tim Hudson. Brandon McCarthy.

    I love you, Oakland A’s. Why do you hate me? Why?

    • Glorious Mundy Dec 7,2012 4:43 pm || Up

      Aw, you can’t hold Murphy against them. Had to make way for Hendu.

      • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 4:47 pm || Up

        Sure I can. One of ’em coulda shifted to LF (RF once Rickey came back), and Canseco coulda DH’d.

        • Soaker Dec 7,2012 5:03 pm || Up

          Murphy blew out his knee in an outfield collision with Mike Davis early in 1987. He wasn’t the same when he came back (and never would be), which is why they had to go out and get Dave Henderson.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • ozzman99 Dec 7,2012 5:08 pm || Up

            Note that the rest of my list includes a PED user and a guy who gets hurt a lot. The heart wants what it wants.

          • Glorious Mundy Dec 7,2012 5:10 pm || Up

            Now, if they would have kept Mike Davis, or stashed him in a locker or something…

            • Soaker Dec 7,2012 5:40 pm || Up

              I’ve never been one to heckle A’s players but Davis did incur my wrath a few times. He chose the moment to exact his revenge wisely.

              What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  24. the llama Dec 7,2012 9:04 pm
  25. the llama Dec 7,2012 9:13 pm

    3:

    Women born between 1956 and 1960 had an average of 2.03 children
    Women born between 1961 and 1965 had an average of 2.06 children
    Women born between 1966 and 1970 had an average of 2.12 children
    Women born between 1971 and 1975 had an average of 2.11 children

    • dmoas Dec 8,2012 12:01 am || Up

      Yes, but what about women born between 2000 to 2012!!!! They’re not having children!!!!

  26. brian.only Dec 8,2012 10:54 am

    So the Gnats are paying $45M over the next 3 years for Scutaro and Pagan, add another $10M for Pagan in 16′.
    Does this seem like overpay to you guys as well?

    • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 11:03 am || Up

      Seems like it, but its probably not “Over pay” in the sense that they would get that kind of money for their services.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  27. Future Ed Dec 8,2012 11:26 am

    VInce breaks his twitter silence:

    naturally

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Kay Dec 8,2012 11:28 am || Up

      oh FK that guy with an oil derrick.

      Can’t we trade him to the Rangers for an A(nnouncer)TBNL?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 10,2012 10:17 am || Up

      Well that’s one of the awkwarder attempts at a sentence I’ve seen in a while.

  28. Future Ed Dec 8,2012 7:15 pm

    Success

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Dec 8,2012 7:15 pm || Up

      6/147 FWIW

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • brian.only Dec 8,2012 7:26 pm || Up

      [ RUNS AROUND HOUSE LAUGHING MANIACALLY ]

      • brian.only Dec 8,2012 7:31 pm || Up

        I’m so overjoyed the slegnA missed out on Brandon AND Zack, still a little sad about Cupcakes though.

    • lenscrafters Dec 8,2012 7:31 pm || Up

      awesome

    • Kylianna Dec 8,2012 11:22 pm || Up

      I am pleased.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 10,2012 10:18 am || Up

      Phew. I guess the further good thing about all these NL West deals is that it makes things harder for the Giants.

  29. brian.only Dec 8,2012 7:36 pm

    No likey

  30. ptbnl Dec 9,2012 11:04 am

    If the world really is going to end on Wednesday, what better way to go than at a free Joe Rut/Loretta Lynch gig.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  31. brian.only Dec 9,2012 7:10 pm

    After committing to nearly $200M in contracts for two pitchers over the last 30 hrs or so I think its safe to say the Dodgers are the new ‘Yankees’.

    • the llama Dec 9,2012 7:42 pm || Up

      Not until they start winning.

        • ozzman99 Dec 9,2012 9:18 pm || Up

          The thing about the Yankees is that even though they build their teams by buying good players, they do a better job of that than anyone else.

  32. andeux Dec 9,2012 9:06 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 10,2012 8:14 am || Up

      Who among us hasn’t been found wandering disoriented at an Ikea store?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • dmoas Dec 10,2012 9:54 am || Up

        I prefer Toys-R-Us.

      • the llama Dec 11,2012 8:27 pm || Up

        I once went to an IKEA store in Sweden. It is exactly like one in the US, except I guess the funny names for the furniture actualy makes sense.

    • elcroata Dec 10,2012 12:38 pm || Up

      sigh

      Anyone has contact with him? Any chance of coming back?

      Because survival is insufficient
      • 5Aces Dec 10,2012 12:42 pm || Up

        The worst part-at least to someone who knows almost nothing about what started it all-is that it got kicked off as a dispute with 2 people, both of who were well liked, 1 of who is now gone, and the other almost never posts more than a “hi” every few weeks.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • elcroata Dec 11,2012 12:02 pm || Up

          Well, FWIW, I reached out today to MB, LB and DFA. Probably not worth much, but at least I won’t have to think that I should have done it and didn’t.

          Because survival is insufficient
          • Englishmajor Dec 12,2012 8:06 am || Up

            That is kind of you to do, and certainly can’t hurt.

            • the llama Dec 12,2012 8:43 pm || Up

              Yes it can. Without going through the whole shitstorm, I felt like I put my hand out there for one of the parties and got spat on.

          • elcroata Dec 12,2012 8:07 am || Up

            OK. One loves me and says nothing about the returning, one appreciates the contact but is not coming back and one did not answer

            Because survival is insufficient
            • ptbnl Dec 12,2012 9:08 am || Up

              DFA, LB, MB?

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • MikeV Dec 12,2012 9:10 am || Up

                F/Marry/Kill?

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

              • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 12,2012 9:27 am || Up

                I would have guessed LB/DFA/MB.

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • PDXAthleticsfan Dec 12,2012 9:31 am || Up

                  I’m guessing LB/MB/DFA.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • 5Aces Dec 12,2012 10:18 am || Up

                  I was thinking this one, but didn’t want to ask for fear of starting meta about out meta.

                  No matter the order-if any of the 3 are lurking the place is better when you are actively here, but hope you all have a happy holiday, 2013, life, Mayan end times, etc. (The same of course is true for the rest of you lurkers and those who are always here providing the yucks and making me learn stuff before it’s done..)

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • PDXAthleticsfan Dec 12,2012 10:22 am || Up

                  I second this statement – I miss your presence here, even if I don’t know any of you in person.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • ptbnl Dec 12,2012 9:31 am || Up

                  Yeah – that first pair was the uncertainty, but I had higher expectations of DFAs return than LBs.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • dmoas Dec 12,2012 12:08 pm || Up

                  I’m with you on that listing.

    • dmoas Dec 10,2012 12:45 pm || Up

      Cute little fella.

    • PDXAthleticsfan Dec 21,2012 2:22 pm || Up
      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  33. elcroata Dec 10,2012 11:14 am

    Seen this one?

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=x-MW5tkTWtQ%3Frel%3D0” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

    Because survival is insufficient
    • Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2012 11:15 am || Up

      Kid’s got a future in officiating. It’s not easy to throw a jump ball that nice.

    • dmoas Dec 10,2012 12:45 pm || Up

      Missed it by thhhaaaaat much: ||

  34. ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 11:20 am

    See, and you folks thought Daly City was boring.

  35. MikeV Dec 10,2012 12:22 pm

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2012 12:24 pm || Up

      So we traded them Godfrey for Rosario, and then they got Rosario back on waivers anyway. Love it.

      • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 12:41 pm || Up

        Why not just release Godfrey and save someone all that paperwork?

        • Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2012 12:42 pm || Up

          This hurts his feeling more?

          • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 10,2012 12:46 pm || Up

            I would assume less actually. Better to be traded, even if it’s a farce of a trade, then to be released, right?

            • Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2012 12:52 pm || Up

              Usually, but in this case he was a PTBNL in a trade for a player who had already been waived by the time he was named. That’s harsh.

              • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 1:06 pm || Up

                Maybe Billy’s just trying to FK with someone’s head at MLB’s offices. “Ok, Rosario to the A’s, Godfrey to the Red Sox, Rosario to the… wait a minute, what?”

                • nevermoor Dec 10,2012 2:20 pm || Up

                  salary relief

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 4:06 pm || Up

                  Huge savings there. Anyway, I thought the A’s were gonna increase payroll. If ever there were 2 pitchers to splurge on, it was Godfrey and Rosario.

              • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 10,2012 5:05 pm || Up

                Rosario wasn’t claimed until after Godfrey was named though right? So for at least a few days it was an actual trade. Or do I have the timeline wrong?

                • Glorious Mundy Dec 11,2012 9:32 am || Up

                  No, you’re right. The cycle of shame wasn’t complete until after Godfrey was named.

                • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 11,2012 10:02 am || Up

                  On the other hand though, making him think he has some value before the big reveal just rubs the shaming in more.

  36. elcroata Dec 10,2012 12:36 pm

    OK, they have successfully killed the idea of community content on OC:

    Last 10 days – 15 FanPosts with average of 13 comments per and a grand total of two recs. But, hey, there is always a mailbag…

    Because survival is insufficient
    • 5Aces Dec 10,2012 12:40 pm || Up

      NOTHING IS CHANGING!! PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE!!! WE ARE JUST READY FOR THE NEXT GREAT WAVE OF COMMENTATORS!!!!

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Kay Dec 10,2012 2:43 pm || Up

        He can go FK himself with a microwaved potato.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Tutu-late Dec 10,2012 2:57 pm || Up

          What a waste of a potato!

          • Tutu-late Dec 10,2012 2:59 pm || Up

            That came out wrong… I meant that microwaving a potato is a waste.

            • dmoas Dec 10,2012 3:09 pm || Up

              Letting it touch him would be the real tragedy. That shit could be turned into great food.

            • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 4:07 pm || Up

              There were many things wrong there.

      • nobody in particular Dec 10,2012 4:40 pm || Up

        Yes, BS Nation, where you make the effort and someone else reaps the rewards, and then they insult you when you protest and try to make it seem like they are doing you the biggest, most groundbreaking favor of your lifetime.

        Someday the disingenuous grifter that runs that thing and I will meet, and I hope it’s in some sort of social context where I can say something to people he’s trying to impress that will make him look even more foolish than nature intended.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  37. Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2012 1:30 pm

    Were you planning to buy any donkey cheese next year? Too late. Novak Djovokic owns all of it.

    • ptbnl Dec 10,2012 1:37 pm || Up

      Any link to The Scum needs to have a warning.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  38. MikeV Dec 10,2012 1:31 pm

    Oh shit.

    The Greinke contract has an opt out after 3 seasons.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 10,2012 5:06 pm || Up

      And opt outs if he’s traded. He has a lot of outs if he wants them down the line.

  39. dmoas Dec 10,2012 4:25 pm

    This one is fun for the Slusser v PL-I’mAnAssHole-78. Too bad she’s too polite.

    • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 4:57 pm || Up

      I like her response. If I were him, I’d be quite embarrassed.

      • Kay Dec 10,2012 5:49 pm || Up

        I’m quite sure he’s incapable of embarrassment.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Tutu-late Dec 10,2012 5:53 pm || Up

          Then, in his second comment, he insisted that E5 was claimed by us before the 2012 season and not the 2011 season…. uh…wrong?

          • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 6:17 pm || Up

            Has he ever been anything but?

            • Future Ed Dec 10,2012 8:55 pm || Up

              aj griffin

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 9:56 pm || Up

                Didn’t he want Griffin in the majors after like 12 innings in Stockton? I wouldn’t call that being right.

            • elcroata Dec 11,2012 12:41 am || Up

              He is a complete idiot and a jerk to top.

              Because survival is insufficient
    • Glorious Mundy Dec 11,2012 9:34 am || Up

      That dude’s got issues.

  40. batgirl Dec 10,2012 5:16 pm

    So did anyone else read the obit for Jenni Rivera today? I only read it because I was thinking…hmmm here’s a woman who has sold heaps of records and I’ve never heard of her. But then I got to this:

    The plane, being flown by two pilots, was taking her and her publicist, Arturo Rivera, her makeup artist, Jacob Yebale, and two friends, one named Mario Macias and another who was also identified as Gerardo, to the central Mexican city of Toluca after a Saturday night concert before thousands in the northern city of Monterrey. All were killed.

    After the concert she gave a press conference during which she spoke of her emotional state following her recent move to divorce former Major League Baseball pitcher Esteban Loaiza, who played for teams including the New York Yankees and Los Angeles Dodgers.

    Rivera announced in October that she was divorcing Loaiza after two years of marriage.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 10,2012 8:42 pm || Up

      Wow, Loaiza wasn’t too washed up to snag a hot young superstar two years ago?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • MikeV Dec 11,2012 7:53 am || Up

        Funny thing, being a multi-millionaire.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  41. ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 10:28 pm

    You can thank Chickie for this little piece of weirdness. White people be crazy.

    • ptbnl Dec 10,2012 10:30 pm || Up

      If eating babies is crazy I don’t want to be sane.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • ozzman99 Dec 10,2012 10:41 pm || Up

        No no, the crazy part is building a statue of an ogre doing it. If you wanna eat babies, that’s fine. But when you make your statue, own it.

  42. harensheir15 Dec 11,2012 3:05 am

    {more sagh}

    Awesome people keep dying for some reason.

    • ptbnl Dec 11,2012 7:14 am || Up

      Bit of a beastly fascist for my tastes.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • harensheir15 Dec 21,2012 2:53 am || Up

        I expect that you know more about his political leanings than I do, which is to say more than what is mentioned in that article. For what it’s worth, following are the points I count in the awesome column: skilled player and composer of xylophone music; avid cricketer; voluntarily enlisted pilot in the RAF during WWII; strong, vocal opponent of hunting; and 50 years of public service, in television and written word, sharing the wonder of the Sky at Night in a style appealing to geeks and lay persons alike. I think the thing, too, is which 50 years in the evolution of astronomical sciences he covered. Now that has little to do with him, of course. But if you’ve done something for 50 years, it’s safe to say you were somewhat talented. And that lends a certain historical significance to your body of work. Heh, I feel a bit silly saying this to you of all people. So don’t take this as an attempt on my part to unfurl for you a new set of facts. Rather, the only new thing I am introducing is my (limited) perspective.
        I admit that (though I don’t know the context) the “too many female teachers” remark is powerfully stupid and makes me more than a little queasy. But the rest of it is stuff I can overlook on account of the points I listed above. At the least, it doesn’t take away from said points. Even if we still disagree here, I think you will find that my original comment about awesome people dying is sadly still true.

        • ptbnl Dec 21,2012 6:34 am || Up

          No doubt he was a remarkable man, but he was also a popular public figure giving vocal support to little englander causes including the McWhirter’s ultra-right “National Association for Freedom” which advocated – amongst other things – compulsory registration of all Irish people living in England in the 70’s (this being the epoch of the Guildford 4 and Birmingham 6).

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Kay Dec 11,2012 7:19 am || Up

      What a weird and complicated man.

      I wonder if he was a virgin his whole life?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • ozzman99 Dec 11,2012 9:27 am || Up

        Who gives a cuckoo clock to a 7 year old?

        • dmoas Dec 11,2012 9:59 am || Up

          A crazy person who know longer knows the time.

          • andeux Dec 11,2012 10:07 am || Up

            Does anybody really know what time it is?

            TINSTAAFK
            • Glorious Mundy Dec 11,2012 10:10 am || Up

              Let’s ask a physicist!

              (Do we know any?)

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 11,2012 12:11 pm || Up

              Does anybody really care?

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • 5Aces Dec 11,2012 12:58 pm || Up

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • Kay Dec 11,2012 2:41 pm || Up

                That would be an interestingly mediocre mashup…

                Morris Day and Peter Cetera and the Chicago Time!

                \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS

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