The Lounge where only you know and I know. ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where only you know and I know. 628

Black Friday will be turning into Small Business Saturday soon…followed by Raiders Losing Again Sunday. It’s late in the evening but there’s still time to lounge.

628 thoughts on “The Lounge where only you know and I know.

  1. Bed Nov 23,2012 9:51 pm

    Looks like I picked a bad week to stop wearing my training bra.

    But seriously, folks....
    • beebo Nov 23,2012 9:58 pm || Up

      Trampoline team tryouts tomorrow?

      • Bed Nov 23,2012 9:59 pm || Up

        We’re hoping to make it to Nationals…fingers crossed.

        But seriously, folks....
  2. Bed Nov 23,2012 9:51 pm

    FYI…Nair should never be used as a hangover cure.

    But seriously, folks....
  3. Bed Nov 23,2012 9:53 pm

    Thanksgiving went well…the turkey was good and moist and I got to enjoy several types of pie…some of which were good and moist.

    But seriously, folks....
  4. Bed Nov 23,2012 9:58 pm

    Tonight’s lounge is like one of the joints The Fabulous Baker Boys played before Michelle Pfeiffer joined them.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:00 pm || Up

      i don’t know what this means but in high school michelle pfeiffer’s date tried to start a fight at a movie theater my friend worked at

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  5. nobody in particular Nov 23,2012 9:59 pm
    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  6. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:02 pm

    When I want to feel smart but not too smart I misuse the word misnomer in a sentence.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:01 pm || Up

      touch llama and you’ll feel smart

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • the llama Nov 24,2012 12:15 pm || Up

        I just touched myself and I feel stupid now.

        • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 2:36 pm || Up

          Dr. Freud would like to talk to you. Or maybe it was Dr. Ruth.

  7. dmoas Nov 23,2012 10:07 pm

    I thought we agreed we would never speak of it again.

  8. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:16 pm

    No truth to the rumor that if you read the Declaration of Independence backwards you get the lyrics to I Want A New Drug by Huey Lewis.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 10:22 pm || Up

      When I was a kid, I thought he was saying “I want a new truck.” Well go and buy one, then.

    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:01 pm || Up

      adult swim is over, bed

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  9. MikeV Nov 23,2012 10:18 pm

    Well, I went to that bar. Without llama. The cute bartender was working there but I got there about 15min before they closed. They had made last call and so I got to have one Racer5 and then leave.

    A 5 dollar beer, and I left a 5.25 tip. Folded like this:

    wow, how fucking cheesy am i?

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:03 pm || Up

      you did fine. it’s gonna be a local. you have to be noticed early

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • the llama Nov 24,2012 12:16 pm || Up

      A pair of testes and a short penis?

      • MikeV Nov 24,2012 12:35 pm || Up

        I don’t understand what this means

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • the llama Nov 24,2012 1:19 pm || Up

          That’s what the picture looks like.

          • MikeV Nov 24,2012 3:52 pm || Up

            You should drink more nyquil

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

  10. ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 10:24 pm

    People on Facebook are funny. I mean, if you want to post a status about how everyone should purchase your services on Small Business Saturday because you’re a small business, then maybe you shouldn’t have spent all year talking about your frequent trips to Walmart. Just sayin’.

    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:04 pm || Up

      “look how cute my kids are?”

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Kay Nov 24,2012 5:09 am || Up

      I want to start a Facebook account just to harass the vanillas… TMI the living shit out of them… you know, kinda like here!

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 2:36 pm || Up

        But they’d have to friend you, in which case you probably know them already.

    • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 2:37 pm || Up

      Today she posted again about booking a photo session with her instead of a chain studio, immediately followed by a post about going to Old Navy to buy jeans on sale.

  11. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:26 pm

    Like most people I like to have the Chariots of Fire theme by Vangelis playing when I run in slow motion in front of the mirror.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Bed Nov 23,2012 10:27 pm || Up

      or when I twirl the baton.

      But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:04 pm || Up

      cuz running is too compelling in regular speed

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  12. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:30 pm

    If you’re in the rough it’s best to lay up on 15.

    But seriously, folks....
  13. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:31 pm

    For the ladies out there…don’t worry, I’m fully clothed.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 10:33 pm || Up

      But now you’ve disappointed all the men.

      • Bed Nov 23,2012 10:35 pm || Up

        I’m quite sure they’ll get over it now that you’re here.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 10:37 pm || Up

          Now they’ve left, in anticipation of the sheer boredom I’ll cause.

    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:06 pm || Up

      cloth-ed

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  14. ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 10:32 pm

    One of the servers at the party I worked tonight looked an awful lot like Emma Watson.

    • Bed Nov 23,2012 10:34 pm || Up

      I know who Tom Watson is.

      But seriously, folks....
      • ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 10:36 pm || Up

        That’s quite elementary.

        • Bed Nov 23,2012 10:41 pm || Up

          What does that make Dr. John Watson?

          But seriously, folks....
          • Bed Nov 23,2012 10:44 pm || Up

            A fictional character…duh.

            But seriously, folks....
            • Bed Nov 23,2012 10:44 pm || Up

              Hey, you can’t be answering questions there, mister.

              But seriously, folks....
  15. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:40 pm

    I wonder if anyone has a face tatoo of Mike Tyson with his face tatoo?

    But seriously, folks....
    • beebo Nov 23,2012 10:55 pm || Up

      That would be a terrific sight to see!

    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:09 pm || Up

      had a client who had wedges under his eyes.

      a lot of prison guys have face tattoos. /serious answer

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  16. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:43 pm

    I haven’t been up this late since my last week as a high class call girl in Las Vegas…if you didn’t pay me you ended up in an ice bath with one of your kidneys missing.

    But seriously, folks....
  17. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:45 pm

    Remember only you can prevent forest fires…well, that and the spread of herpes.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:12 pm || Up

      smokey bear is bad memories for me

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Kay Nov 24,2012 5:36 am || Up

        I sleep with bears because my wife has herpes.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  18. Bed Nov 23,2012 10:50 pm

    and now for something completely the same as something I’ve done many, mnay, many, many, many, many, many, many, many times before….

    But seriously, folks....
  19. Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:30 pm

    wait. all that work and bed goes to bed?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • ChickenStanley Nov 23,2012 11:41 pm || Up

      Are you Future Ed McMahon to Bed’s Johnny?

      • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:45 pm || Up

        hey chickie

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • ozzman99 Nov 23,2012 11:46 pm || Up

        Chickaloo. Here, make this pizza. You’ll be happy.

        olive oil, provolone, turkey sausage, fig preserves, caramelized onions, apples, bleu cheese, pecans

        • ChickenStanley Nov 23,2012 11:48 pm || Up

          Ozzy!

          Sounds good, except the bleu cheese. Chickie don’t do mold.

          • Kay Nov 24,2012 5:37 am || Up

            Feta substitution FTW

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • ChickenStanley Nov 23,2012 11:49 pm || Up

          Now I want chicken vindaloo

          • Future Ed Nov 23,2012 11:56 pm || Up

            ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 12:01 am || Up

            Are you being racist?

    • Bed Nov 24,2012 8:33 pm || Up

      Yes, yes I did.

      But seriously, folks....
  20. elcroata Nov 24,2012 7:11 am

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=oJLqyuxm96k%3Frel%3D0” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

    Because survival is insufficient
  21. Poppy Nov 24,2012 2:39 pm

    So, more-seasoned-than-me international travelers (normal travelers, not hardcore adventure travelers) — you’re booking a direct flight from SFO to LHR and it has to be on either Virgin Atlantic or British Airways. Economy class, either way. Which of those two airlines do you choose?

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 2:42 pm || Up

      Never flown Virgin, but I’ve had good experiences on BA. On the other hand, that was 20+ years ago. If you really want to improve your experience, I’d suggest you bring me along.

      • Poppy Nov 24,2012 2:47 pm || Up

        Well, that depends on how much you know about trains.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 5:21 pm || Up

          I once helped my god son put together a Thomas the Train railroad set, so I’m pretty much an expert.

    • Soaker Nov 24,2012 3:20 pm || Up

      Don’t overanalyze it, it’s 21st century air travel. If there’s a price and/or scheduling difference that’s your determining factor. If you’re sitting next to somebody obnoxious, you’ll be miserable for 10 hours regardless of airline. If you’re sitting on the taxiway for 8 hours with the potty overflowing, that won’t be fun either. Maybe somebody does have an opinion about whether BA’s chicken parmigiana is better than Virgin’s. Any real differences in airlines would only show up at levels higher than economy class.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Poppy Nov 24,2012 3:31 pm || Up

        I’m thinking in terms of safety/maintenance/customer service factors. Which airline is least likely to have potties overflowing or management/mechanical problems, etc. Obviously I’m not seeking predictions of who will sit near me, and quality of all airline food is expected to be subpar.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • ptbnl Nov 24,2012 5:58 pm || Up

      When are you going?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Poppy Nov 24,2012 6:31 pm || Up

        May

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • ptbnl Nov 24,2012 7:00 pm || Up

          And it absolutely has to be BA/Virgin?

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Poppy Nov 25,2012 10:50 am || Up

            Well, it absolutely has to be nonstop on an airline that does not have any of the “intangibles” that will further terrify my already paralyzed-by-flying husband. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to pin down all the intangible-based rules, other than “not United,” “not Southwest” (probably moot), “not an airline we’ve never heard of”…

            So what would you recommend other than BA/Virgin? I don’t actually know why the preference for those two, other than my friend came to see us from London on Virgin, and she didn’t die en route in either direction, so therefore Virgin must be okay… also that my sister insisted on Virgin America for our trip to Vegas, so that must make Virgin Atlantic also okay. (Mr. Poppy has spent most of his adult life working with stats, yet is phobic beyond all reason when it comes to air travel. Has no problem with our odds of dying while driving across the desert in stormy weather with all the big rigs, though.)

            There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
            • Poppy Nov 25,2012 10:54 am || Up

              Oh yeah, hot travel tip: For inspiring a flight-phobic partner to go on vacation to another continent, just get potentially-but-not-actually fatal cancer. (This trip was actually his idea. FINALLY, spousal pessimism that works for me!)

              There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
              • the llama Nov 25,2012 11:52 am || Up

                Wait what?

                • Poppy Nov 25,2012 12:50 pm || Up

                  That. All is still well. :)

                  There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
                • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:09 pm || Up

                  Oh yeah, i was there for that. I had a forgetz.

            • ptbnl Nov 25,2012 11:23 am || Up

              Not any US carrier if you want to be served free drinks in economy.

              Beyond that, I’d say it’s much of a muchness with the mainstream carriers so just go for the best price/schedule. Also make sure it really is non-stop and not just “direct” – some airlines now keep the same flight number even with a stop and change of planes!

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • Poppy Nov 25,2012 11:33 am || Up

                Yeah, that sounds reasonable. And there will be Xanax involved, so free drinks will either be a really good idea (bonus sedation!) or a really bad one (too much bonus sedation!).

                Thanks for the tip about non-stop vs. direct — I did not know that! Wouldn’t the itinerary during online booking show you that you’re making a stop, even if you’re staying on the same plane?

                There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
                • ptbnl Nov 25,2012 11:56 am || Up

                  It should, but it’s worth keeping an eye on.

                  What you really want to avoid is landing anywhere else in the US before San Francisco.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • elcroata Nov 25,2012 11:05 am || Up

      So, no balloons?

      Because survival is insufficient
      • the llama Nov 25,2012 11:53 am || Up

        This guy looks like he’s got some spare room.

  22. the llama Nov 24,2012 5:18 pm

    When is someone going to write the Hannukah/Billy Idol parody, “Rock the Dreidl of Love?”

    • the llama Nov 24,2012 5:20 pm || Up

      Little known fact gleaned from Billy Idol’s wikipedia page: he was James Cameron’s original choice for the T-1000 in Terminator 2.

    • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 5:22 pm || Up

      Adam Sandler just called. He thinks you’re a genius. Don’t worry, I set him straight.

  23. ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 5:29 pm

    Star Wars question: When Luke realizes that storm troopers are headed to his home, Obi Wan warns him to stop. Luke is supposed to be the only hope (other than Leia, I guess) to defeat the Empire and restore the Republic. So why doesn’t Obi Wan use his jedi mind trick to stop Luke? Why does he just stand there and watch Luke run off to his potential death? Did he really hang out on Tatooine for 20 years just to watch get Luke get shot up by a bunch of clones? Stupid, old man. Stupid.

    • Poppy Nov 24,2012 5:33 pm || Up

      Because the Force was strong with that one.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • the llama Nov 24,2012 5:34 pm || Up

      Only works on the weak-minded.

      • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 5:51 pm || Up

        Ok, what about using his telekinetic powers?

        • the llama Nov 24,2012 5:52 pm || Up

          he’s pretty old…i didn’t see him exercising much in the way of force-draining magicks

          • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 6:45 pm || Up

            Damn it, I don’t want to hear excuses. I want to see results.

            Of course, this brings up another point. He uses the force on a storm trooper, so they must be weak-minded. Why didn’t the jedi use that trick to take control of the clone army when the clones attacked them?

            • dmoas Nov 24,2012 6:54 pm || Up

              Too many of them.

              • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:00 pm || Up

                Also, if one laser blast can kill a clone, why do they bother wearing armor?

                • dmoas Nov 24,2012 7:09 pm || Up

                  Their armor was built by the lowest bidder.

                • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:15 pm || Up

                  Damn government contracts.

                • dmoas Nov 24,2012 7:33 pm || Up

                  You’re not asking the most important question. If R2D2 could fucking fly in Episode 2, why the fuck did they lug that garbage can around through all 3 episodes in 4 thru 6?

                • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:43 pm || Up

                  He got lazy in his old age.

                • the llama Nov 24,2012 7:29 pm || Up

                  No, it had to be awarded to a minority-owned small business, and was also subject to “Buy Coruscant” provisions.

        • dmoas Nov 24,2012 6:53 pm || Up

          That would lead to the dark side.

          • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 6:59 pm || Up

            Why? Yoda used it.

            • dmoas Nov 24,2012 7:08 pm || Up

              Force someone to not go?

              • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:15 pm || Up

                No, just used telekinesis.

                • dmoas Nov 24,2012 7:26 pm || Up

                  Well moving shit or casually persuading someone is one thing, forcing them to do something against their will is another.

                • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:43 pm || Up

                  Ok, I can accept that.

                • Bed Nov 24,2012 8:34 pm || Up

                  I smell a pack of nerds.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:44 am || Up

                  And what exactly do we they smell like?

  24. Poppy Nov 24,2012 5:37 pm

    Do we know if baby nevermoor has arrived yet?

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • the llama Nov 24,2012 5:48 pm || Up

      Today is nm’s birthday…it would be great if they coincided. Nobody would ever wish him happy birthday ever again.

      • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 5:52 pm || Up

        Looking at his child would be all the birthday happiness he’d ever need.

      • Soaker Nov 24,2012 5:52 pm || Up

        I figure he put Mrs. nm in front of a TV and had her watch Bedlam. We should hear about it shortly.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:51 pm || Up

      Yes. Yes we do.

      11/23 at 11:22 pm, so she got her own day by 38 minutes (and completed an extended family run of 11/22-25). Anna (who, until I can do better, shall be referred to as ****) arrived at 7 pounds 1 oz and 20 inches. We’re home, happy, and healthy.

      Note to Soaker: we watched Bedlam afterwards, but didn’t really give a shit about the outcome. In fact, the channel changed to the next game and none of us had been paying enough attention to know who won. I had to google it.

      Also, pictures are in total disarray, but I’ll trade one or two for an email swearing up and down not to post it online. My screenname at gmail.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:53 pm || Up

        Congratulations!

        SHoulda named her FlicKa.

        • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:18 pm || Up

          Her initials either need to be A. S. or F. K.

          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:30 pm || Up

            DAMN IT! I JUST WANT SOMEONE I KNOW TO NAME THEIR KID FLICKA! IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

            • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 3:30 pm || Up

              Grow your own!

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 3:50 pm || Up

                That would require a woman agreeing to have sex with me.

                • dmoas Nov 26,2012 4:05 pm || Up

                  *I* see the problem here. Yeah, nm, I think you may have to take one for the team here. Give the ozz a bone.

                • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 4:08 pm || Up

                  Thank you and FK you at the same time.

                • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 4:12 pm || Up

                  1. No boning ozz for me.

                  2. I’m off the naming market for a while.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • the llama Nov 26,2012 6:42 pm || Up

                  Yeah, right.

      • Poppy Nov 25,2012 9:54 pm || Up

        Woohoo! Congrats! Awesome birthday present… Glad everyone is okay, too. :)

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:58 pm || Up

        Congratulations! Parenthood is the greatest awful thing in the world. Very happy for you and mrs nm!

        • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 10:03 pm || Up

          Thanks all.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:07 pm || Up

        That’s great news…I happy for you and your entire family.

        But seriously, folks....
      • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:14 pm || Up

        Congratulations!

      • Future Ed Nov 25,2012 10:16 pm || Up

        congrats. SLF’s B-day and the first one are separated by 2 days.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 11:15 pm || Up

        Whoo hoo!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • whimsical witch Nov 26,2012 1:40 am || Up

        YAY! welcome, beautiful girl!!!!!!! <3

      • colin Nov 26,2012 11:53 am || Up

        Congratulations!

      • desmarestia Nov 26,2012 12:36 pm || Up

        AWESOME!!!!

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Nov 26,2012 2:04 pm || Up

        Whooo, congratulations!

      • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 3:30 pm || Up

        Thanks all! This fking rocks.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Ice Cream Nov 26,2012 4:46 pm || Up

        This is when you realize life is a miracle. Congratulations, NM!

        Where is the good in "good-bye"?
      • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:37 pm || Up

        Right on, fellow breeder.

        I’m happy for you and your wife.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • oblique Nov 26,2012 7:00 pm || Up

        Great news! Congratulations!

      • sslinger Nov 26,2012 7:49 pm || Up

        Totally happy for you & mrs. nm, congrats!

      • elcroata Nov 27,2012 11:52 pm || Up

        belated congrats, nevermoor

        Because survival is insufficient
      • doctorK Nov 28,2012 8:54 am || Up

        Very very belated congrats, nm

      • Englishmajor Nov 28,2012 10:47 am || Up

        Back from Mpls, making my way through the archives – congratulations! Is she Annabel Lee to your nevermoor?

      • PDXAthleticsfan Nov 28,2012 1:47 pm || Up

        Just getting to this thread – congrats nm! Very happy for you – also you took one of our alternatives for naming Spawn2. Their Hebrew names are the same, though;)

        A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
      • Kylianna Nov 28,2012 2:03 pm || Up

        YAY CONGRATS!!

      • harensheir15 Nov 30,2012 2:00 am || Up

        Oh happy day, one more fan! Congratulations!

        • harensheir15 Nov 30,2012 2:08 am || Up

          Also,

          • ozzman99 Nov 30,2012 10:13 am || Up

            We need to make one that replaces the “A” with “A’s.”

            • Kay Nov 30,2012 3:08 pm || Up

              If only we used to know a psychic who worked at a sign shop…

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • harensheir15 Dec 2,2012 8:31 am || Up

            Blast. I thought I told you to open the link in a new tab.

      • nevermoor Dec 2,2012 6:16 pm || Up

        Thanks to all of you (again).

        And bless the B-sharps.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  25. Jennifer Nov 24,2012 6:00 pm

    I loved today.

    • Poppy Nov 24,2012 6:32 pm || Up

      I hope today loved you back!

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 6:46 pm || Up

      I met a cute young lady who clearly had no interest in me. At all.

  26. ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 6:45 pm

    Ok, Words With Friends must be broken. It doesn’t think “lof” is a word.

    • Jennifer Nov 24,2012 7:00 pm || Up

      I don’t have friends to word with.

      • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:01 pm || Up

        Awww. :( I’d word with you.

        • Jennifer Nov 24,2012 7:07 pm || Up

          Brown chicken brown cow.

          • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:15 pm || Up

            Was that some sort of racial comment?

            • Jennifer Nov 24,2012 7:17 pm || Up

              YOU’RE BROWN?!?!

              • Future Ed Nov 24,2012 7:26 pm || Up

                our very own mocha metal madman

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • ozzman99 Nov 24,2012 7:44 pm || Up

                  I once bit the head off a chocolate bunny.

                • Bed Nov 24,2012 8:39 pm || Up

                  I once got head from a Playboy bunny.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Bed Nov 24,2012 8:39 pm || Up

                  Well, not really…it was just a regular bunny…I still have the bite marks.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:44 am || Up

                  Was it that one from Monty Python?

                • beebo Nov 25,2012 11:57 am || Up

                  If so, then it’s only a flesh wound.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:19 pm || Up

                  But he’s got sharp, pointy teeth.

  27. Soaker Nov 24,2012 8:18 pm

    Good grief Kiffin that was FKing horrendous.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Bed Nov 24,2012 8:35 pm || Up

      Kiffin and FKing horrendous go hand in hand.

      But seriously, folks....
    • Soaker Nov 24,2012 8:35 pm || Up

      (also yay television for putting Boise State @ Nevada in the afternoon next Saturday. I wasn’t thrilled about a December night game in Reno.)

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  28. batgirl Nov 24,2012 8:44 pm

    Love me some Stepfan Taylor. Hmmm maybe the Broncos can draft him.

    • Soaker Nov 24,2012 9:08 pm || Up

      Ridiculous that Furd has to play another game to get to the Rose Bowl. Two teams in the conference have one loss, and Furd beat Oregon. Should be end of discussion. I’d like to think the new playoff system will eventually get rid of these idiotic “conference championship games”, but television money trumps competitive integrity every time.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • batgirl Nov 24,2012 9:38 pm || Up

        Yes, and this twice-in-a-row business vs. UCLA is particularly goofy.

        • Future Ed Nov 27,2012 8:25 pm || Up

          I am particularly proud of this. When the PR person put something out on Twitter about the “Stanford game,”I sent a snarky message back. Afterwards this press release appeared with the proper headline

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Glorious Mundy Nov 27,2012 8:27 pm || Up

            Wait, the Pac-12 championship game is on a Friday? That’s disgraceful.

          • batgirl Nov 27,2012 8:38 pm || Up

            What the what?!! {shakes fist}

            • Future Ed Nov 27,2012 8:41 pm || Up

              consolation prize is winning the game?

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • dmoas Nov 27,2012 9:03 pm || Up

            What was the wrong headline?

            • ozzman99 Nov 27,2012 9:06 pm || Up

              They forgot to mention that we’d be force-feeding you mayonnaise sandwiches.

              • dmoas Nov 27,2012 9:13 pm || Up

                Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

                • ozzman99 Nov 27,2012 9:22 pm || Up

                  In a couple of months, we’ll make some dmoas gras.

            • Future Ed Nov 27,2012 9:41 pm || Up

              nothing

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • dmoas Nov 25,2012 5:46 am || Up

        Gives them an extra game to get a better shot at the title game. As it is, Oregon has no shot whatsoever simply because they missed the championship game while the SEC has two teams with 11-1 records and one of them will.

    • Future Ed Nov 25,2012 7:48 am || Up

      I did watch a bit of this game. My first non-overtime, did it look to anyone else that the UCLA offense wasjust a bunch of dudes that got together that morning and said “Hey, lets play a football game! it’ll be DOPE!”

      the quarterback was walking around behind the line of scrimiage seemingly aimlessly until the snap.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • beebo Nov 25,2012 9:54 am || Up

        did it look to anyone else that the UCLA offense wasjust a bunch of dudes that got together that morning and said “Hey, lets play a football game! it’ll be DOPE!”

        That’s been my impression for a while.

  29. Bed Nov 24,2012 8:50 pm

    It’s Saturday night…I should be doing something fun like organizing my can goods by sodium content.

    But seriously, folks....
  30. Bed Nov 24,2012 8:51 pm

    I’d be so much richer if I had been born rich.

    But seriously, folks....
  31. Bed Nov 24,2012 8:52 pm

    Daffy Duck is so much more street than Donald Duck.

    But seriously, folks....
  32. Bed Nov 24,2012 8:55 pm

    Your random fact about a 1980’s politician for the day…

    Gary Hart was born Gary Hartpence.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Bed Nov 24,2012 8:56 pm || Up

      and who says a degree in history is useless…

      But seriously, folks....
  33. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:00 pm

    Your random fact about Bed’s house for the day…our wood floors are made out of bamboo…why, I have no idea.

    But seriously, folks....
  34. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:04 pm

    I think I may need to do something more exciting to drive traffic tonight on FK…perhaps I can review the collected works of Ashford & Simpson?

    But seriously, folks....
  35. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:05 pm

    I think there are more living things in my house than there are on FK right now.

    But seriously, folks....
  36. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:08 pm

    It occurs to me that I haven’t made a joke about masturbation in almost 24 hours.

    But seriously, folks....
    • the llama Nov 24,2012 11:59 pm || Up

      (can anyone guess what this is?)

  37. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:11 pm

    The Raiders have had plenty of bad teams as of late but this years team is both bad and boring…I’ll watch the game tomorrow of course but I can’t promise I won’t consider a nap by the 3rd quarter.

    But seriously, folks....
  38. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:13 pm

    As much as I say Darren McFadden is made out of glass I’m starting to think Richard Seymour is nearly as glassy…I hope both are gone from next year’s team…if you can’t stay on the field you have little value.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 10:23 am || Up

      Seymour has nothing left, he should and probably will retire I think. And yeah, I’m ready for McFadden’s potential to have a chance to sucker some other team out of a roster spot.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  39. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:32 pm

    This place is almost as empty as a lounge on AN…do they still do these over there?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Nov 25,2012 9:58 pm || Up

      what the who where?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:01 pm || Up

        AN…it’s the land of serious baseball talk and goat fucking.

        But seriously, folks....
  40. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:33 pm

    I’ve been thinking a lot about why people write a lot as alot.

    But seriously, folks....
  41. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:39 pm

    Eddie Money is playing at an Indian Casino is Southwest Missouri in a couple of weeks…I can’t decide if I should get in line for tickets now or chance it and just show up a week before the show starts.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Ice Cream Nov 24,2012 10:55 pm || Up

      Eddie Money playing at an Indian Casino?

      That would be two tickets to pair o’ dice.

      Where is the good in "good-bye"?
  42. Bed Nov 24,2012 9:43 pm

    Remember…life is what you make of it so you might as well make it busty.

    But seriously, folks....
  43. andeux Nov 24,2012 10:39 pm

    TINSTAAFK
  44. dmoas Nov 25,2012 12:50 pm

    So… the Raiders just got royally fked by the refs. Major gangbang style.

    • dmoas Nov 25,2012 12:54 pm || Up

      And when you think it was over… royally fked again. Yikes.

    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:20 pm || Up

      Didn’t see it, what happened?

      • dmoas Nov 25,2012 5:29 pm || Up

        Cin caught the ball, Raiders forced a fumble near the line, defender smacked the ball before it went out of play, whistle was blown anyway just as the defense recovered and took it all the way. Ruling stood because of the inadvertent whistle. Next play gets whistled dead, but the defense had already broken the line and smacked the quarterback resulting in an OL attacking a defender, the result: 3 players ejected (two raiders, one cin). Cin eventually drops a bomb down field leading to a touchdown. So not only screwed out of a recovery and TD, but lose two key defenders and give up a TD all because of the refs fking up.

        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:38 pm || Up

          I don’t know if I’m paying more attention this year, but it seems like even with the regular refs there are a lot more bad calls than usual. Crabtree was called down by contact when he clearly wasn’t down. Then the 49ers got away with a few PI’s late in the game (at least 1 on offense and 2 on defense).

          • dmoas Nov 25,2012 5:42 pm || Up

            Yeah, saw that one too. The Crabtree one was just awful. So was the Moss one in the end zone. The biggest difference I’ve noticed is that the real refs are just a lot more organized with everything they do. Even if it’s the wrong call they do a much better job of keeping the game going even when there’s a need for a long delay.

            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:45 pm || Up

              Yes, they seem less confused. Even when they’re wrong, they’re quite confident in themselves.

              • dmoas Nov 25,2012 5:52 pm || Up

                Yeah, in particular, the Raiders fumble recovery, they really seemed like they wanted to make the right call but couldn’t because of the rules.

          • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:53 pm || Up

            In fairness, we got totally jobbed all game, and I don’t agree with you about the defensive ones. The one on Moss was (a) smart by Moss and (b) definitely PI.

            Kaep sure does look like a keeper.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:56 pm || Up

              I kinda thought we got screwed by the refs too, but I wasn’t sure if it was just my bias.

              • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 10:04 pm || Up

                Some of those were rarely called (like the Iupati hold on the Gore TD). On review, they look right, but they shouldn’t all land on us.

                NO got like 2 flags all night. AND STILL FKING LOST.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:20 pm || Up

                  The Iupati potentially hurt them more. It gave SF a chance to run a lot more time off the clock.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:24 pm || Up

                  I wondered on Ginn’s fumble if NO got a little too close to him when he tried to catch the punt. Not sure, but I thought you’re supposed to give the guy 5 yards.

                • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 3:30 pm || Up

                  Not that much, and Ginn didn’t signal for a fair catch (which is the unforgivable part)

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 3:51 pm || Up

                  Yeah, that was dumb. But I thought they had to give you room to catch the ball, regardless of whether or not fair catch is called.

                • dmoas Nov 26,2012 4:06 pm || Up

                  Probably, but I don’t think they encroached on him either way. He just flat out dropped it.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 26,2012 4:24 pm || Up

                  In the NFL you don’t have to give the returner room, you just can’t touch him. In college you have to give the returner a radius of (I think) one yard in which to make the catch.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 5:32 pm || Up

                  Ok, thanks. I probably coulda googled that, but it was easier to Pam it.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 6:05 pm || Up

      In fairness, the Raiders were getting their asses thoroughly kicked even if that play went their way. I don’t doubt for a second that Cincy still wins by three TDs regardless. But yes, a horrible series of calls.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:21 pm || Up

        It may have been closer, but it didn’t hurt the outcome, that’s true. Cin might have fell apart a bit too after that like the Raiders did when it went to hell.

  45. ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:26 pm

    Niners made it exciting in the 1st half, but the defense took over in the 2nd half, big time. I don’t think Alex Smith will be starting anytime soon, barring injury.

    • dmoas Nov 25,2012 5:31 pm || Up

      I wasn’t particularly impressed by Kap. He wasn’t bad by any means, but he wasn’t particularly great either. In a way, nothing to suggest he keep the job and nothing to suggest he should lose the job.

      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:41 pm || Up

        He made some passes that Smith couldn’t make, and never got sacked. Smith probably would’ve gone down a couple of times at least.

        Kaep is going to make mistakes Smith doesn’t, but his legs let him escape the rush better, and his arm lets him throw passes in traffic that Smith can’t. And while Kaep sometimes misses open receivers, he also hits them in a position to run after the catch better than Smith. And he seems to go through his reads faster.

        • dmoas Nov 25,2012 5:49 pm || Up

          I think he got lucky in a several instances where he tried to prolong plays that he shouldn’t have along with forcing a few balls (luckily) through. Again, he didn’t do poorly, he just did okay. Basically what you’d actually hope for out of a guy making only his second career start, but not necessarily what you’d hope for out of a playoff contending QB. If they don’t get that pick-6 (really both of them) at the end of the first half it’s a completely different game. The defense came up huge. That being said, given that Kaep is their future, like you, I see no reason not to keep starting him going forward.

          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 5:54 pm || Up

            Yes, he’s not perfect by any means. He definitely has room to grow. And that will (hopefully) come with time. His physical tools are significantly better than Smith’s. And I really don’t think the team is any worse off right now with Kaep than with Smith.

          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 6:57 pm || Up

            Also,

            If they don’t get that pick-6 (really both of them) at the end of the first half it’s a completely different game.

            by the same reasoning, if Ginn doesn’t fumble that punt, it’s a different game.

            • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:22 pm || Up

              Oh, absolutely, but we’re talking about the direct impact of the QB and the offense overall.

              • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:32 pm || Up

                But the 49ers halftime adjustments were quite effective. Unless the first pick six prevented a NO score, it may simply have been a closer game.

                • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:52 pm || Up

                  In that case, they don’t kneel done to end the game. But both offense and defense played a LOT better in the second half. I’m sure going into the half tied helped a hair.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:56 pm || Up

                  This game was won more by the defense, no doubt about it. Getting pressure on Brees made all the difference in the world.

                  On offense, I felt they should’ve run the ball more in the first half. Gore only had 3 carries against the league’s worst run defense? I understand the desire to out-think your opponent, but don’t over-think your gameplan. You’ve got the best ground game in the NFL, and they have the worst defense. Make them stop you.

                • dmoas Nov 25,2012 11:00 pm || Up

                  Very true. Especially when that’s one of the advantages of having Kaep at QB. And having him run at the outset would have just enabled him to have more time in the pocket later in the game and opened more possibilities for him to make plays. But man, when the SF D is rolling, it really doesn’t seem like anyone can stop them. That entire fourth quarter, NO was going nowhere.

                • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 3:58 pm || Up

                  Plus, as I understand it, OL’s like to run the ball early so they can beat up on the DL’s. It slows them down later in the game. And either way, it takes pressure off the young QB if you’re running the ball effectively.

                • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 3:31 pm || Up

                  Aldon is really really good. And to think, I was furious about that pick after being completely over the moon about Crabtree.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 4:00 pm || Up

                  I was excited about Crabtree right up until he held out. I wasn’t that excited about Aldon, not because I didn’t think he was good but because I understood him to be a reach that early. Obviously, I have no complaints now. It helps that he can concentrate on doing his job knowing that the rest of the defense will do theirs.

                • dmoas Nov 26,2012 4:07 pm || Up

                  Man, he really is a beast. The scary thing is he still has room to grow as a player.

          • Poppy Nov 25,2012 7:53 pm || Up

            Eh, I think Alex deserves to finish the season. Then when the Niners don’t re-sign him, at least they know there will be a good replacement. I’m with this:

            I wasn’t particularly impressed by Kap. He wasn’t bad by any means, but he wasn’t particularly great either. In a way, nothing to suggest he keep the job and nothing to suggest he should lose the job.

            I thought he looked like he was on the verge of panic several times, but that could have been environmental — that stadium was brutally loud. I think that, given there was no medical reason to sit Smith, the decision to go with Kaep might have been to just see how he could perform against a hot team that’s had a chance to watch more pro film of him (unlike the Bears last week).

            There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
            • MikeV Nov 25,2012 8:52 pm || Up

              I don’t think he “deserves” a damn thing. It’s a meritocracy, or at least ideally it is, and Kaepernick took over against StL while they were losing and played OK, torched the shit out of the 2nd best defense in the league against Chicago, and then went into an extremely hostile dome in New Orleans and won.

              As much as I’ve defended Smith previously, we’re not talking about JT Osullivan or Shaun Hill starting instead of him. Kaepernick is better.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:56 pm || Up

                Kaep will probably make more mistakes, and possibly turn over the ball more than Smith. But he’ll also avoid more sacks and probably make more big plays. On balance, I suspect the team is at least as good, if not better, with Kaep starting.

                • MikeV Nov 25,2012 9:02 pm || Up

                  I think they can run more plays with Kaepernick than with Smith, given the superior athletic ability and throwing arm.

                  Honestly I’m amazed. I didn’t think he would be ready this soon, but if anything this proves Harbaugh can put a QB in the position to succeed.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:09 pm || Up

                  He also keeps defenses watching for him to break loose and run.

              • Poppy Nov 25,2012 9:30 pm || Up

                Oh, excuse me. By “deserves” I mean he has EARNED the opportunity to finish the season and start in the playoffs. Not gonna argue opinion-based… anything. Ever. Just clarifying an apparent semantic issue.

                There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:38 pm || Up

                  I think a team with Super Bowl possibilities that voluntarily hands the reins of the team to a rookie QB when it has an established team vet playing OK is setting itself up for disaster. Which since I loathe the 49ers is just fine by me.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:43 pm || Up

                  I think you go with the better player, period. I do think that experience matters more in the NFL than in MLB, but talent trumps “veteran savvy” or whatever.

                • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:28 pm || Up

                  In this case, I think the weight of that shifts ever so slightly in Smith’s favor. Not based on talent, just the combination of talent with the overall experience at that level as well as playoff experience.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:36 pm || Up

                  I don’t know, I think Kaep’s athletic talent may exceed Smith’s by enough to overcome Smith’s experience.

                • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:54 pm || Up

                  That’s kind of why I think it’s more of a coin flip really. I don’t think you would pick one or the other and look back and think, “I think in hindsight it was a mistake.”

              • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:38 pm || Up

                See, I’m wondering how much of that was Chicago having a shitty game + the SF offense as a whole having a great game. Comparatively, Kaep regressed quite a bit against a much weaker defense. With no alternative, of course you go with him. With an alternative, it’s a bit of a gamble to wonder just how much more he might regress against better defenses that have more video to prepare for him. There’s certainly advantages to using him over Smith, but you’re still making a gamble that the bigger playbook will outweigh the mistakes he’s going to make. To me, that’s a coin flip at best at this point.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:46 pm || Up

                  The other thing to factor in here is that while Smith is a known quantity, he’s also about as good as he’ll ever be. Kaep, on the other hand, is likely to improve given more reps and more playing time.

                • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:57 pm || Up

                  True. But some of that improvement will come as a direct result of making mistakes. It’s just going to depend a lot on whether those mistakes are fewer/not as bad comparatively to the speed he sees those improvements. If this were week 1 or 2, I’d be sitting on the Kaep side of the fence easily, but with the playoffs coming up so soon, I’d sit on the side of having the experienced player as well prepared as possible.

  46. ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 6:09 pm

    I want some good chocolate.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 6:26 pm || Up

      There are many local purveyors of fine chocolate here in the Bay Area.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 6:29 pm || Up

        If it wasn’t a Sunday, I could get some Scharfenberger. As it is, I could go to the Super Walmart and maybe get Lindt if I’m lucky.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 7:03 pm || Up

          Top notch chocolate. Reason #377 to move back to town. I’m fond of this guy‘s stuff.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 7:11 pm || Up

            Very impressive! I had originally planned on visiting my sister in Dubai this winter. No shortage of amazing chocolate there. Won’t get to go, though.

          • Poppy Nov 25,2012 7:57 pm || Up

            Preeeeeeetty…

            There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
          • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:41 pm || Up

            Meh, relies too much on dark chocolate, which I can’t digest and find too bitter anyway.

    • desmarestia Nov 26,2012 12:38 pm || Up

      Now I want chocolate! grrrr

    • elcroata Nov 28,2012 12:03 am || Up

      Go to Elizondo

      Because survival is insufficient
  47. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:02 pm

    Thank goodness football supergenius Reggie McKenzie fired Hue Jackson so we could bring in a defensive expert like Dennis Allen to be our head coach.

    In the last game of the season last year the Raiders were playing for the AFC West title…this year they’ll be battling it out for the 2nd or 3rd pick in the draft.

    I fucking want the entire team cut!

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:11 pm || Up

      Hire Cowher and get the FK out of his way.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:26 pm || Up

        I’d rather have Gruden back.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:29 pm || Up

          Another great choice.

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:35 pm || Up

            If I owned the Raiders I’d give him a blank check.

            But seriously, folks....
            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:37 pm || Up

              That’s probably what it would take. That, and staying out of his business.

              • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:41 pm || Up

                I wouldn’t be one of those owners who thinks he knows more than his football people.

                But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:56 pm || Up

                  Oh. And I always pictured you looking like Jerry Jones in preppy clothes.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:58 pm || Up

                  Well, a little younger and with a whole lot less plastic surgery…and we’re both Arkansas boys.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:11 pm || Up

                  And similar bank accounts, no doubt.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:14 pm || Up

                  I wish…I think he has suits worth more than my house.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:22 pm || Up

                  I think he has suits worth more than my entire net worth.

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:36 pm || Up

            I think Cowher would a nice fit in Carolina. I’m just not sure he wants to get back into coaching.

            But seriously, folks....
            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:39 pm || Up

              I think Cowher would be a great fit for the Saints, if they weren’t bringing Payton back. Cowher builds great defenses, and he’d have a great offense in place already.

              • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:45 pm || Up

                I guess the question will be if Cowher still has the passion for it…of course Vermeil took a long break and came back and won a Super Bowl.

                But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:58 pm || Up

                  Yeah, I’ve wondered that about Cowher, Gruden, Marriuci, Siefert (although I read a few months ago that he has absolutely no desire to coach ever again), and Parcells until he turned down the Saints job. Of course, it may be that he wants a more permanent position.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:04 pm || Up

                  Well, Seifert and Parcells are just plain old at this point. Gruden is coming back whether it’s the NFL or the SEC who knows? You don’t hear much about Mooch.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:12 pm || Up

                  Mooch sort of disappeared after his dismal Detroit years. But I don’t think he’s a bad coach.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:17 pm || Up

                  I think he’s a good coach…does anyone leave Detroit looking good? That franchise is a toxic dump site.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:21 pm || Up

                  does anyone leave Detroit looking good?

                  The A’s Eminem

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:23 pm || Up

                  And I meant he disappeared from being mentioned as a coaching candidate. Or at least I didn’t hear much (wasn’t there talk of him taking over at Michigan?) I know he’s been on NFL Network.

                  But yeah, Detroit was not a situation where he was set up for success. Wasn’t Matt Millen his GM?

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:25 pm || Up

                  I saw his name on a long highly speculative list of possible next Cal coaches. Hue Jackson too.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:31 pm || Up

                  Mooch at Cal for a second time…that might be interesting.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:35 pm || Up

                  Interesting. I wonder if he’d be interested.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:28 pm || Up

                  Yep…Millen only hired head coaches whose named started with M…three in all, I think.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:34 pm || Up

                  Seems like a sound way to pick coaches.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:41 pm || Up

                  Mmm-mmm

                  But seriously, folks....
    • MikeV Nov 25,2012 8:57 pm || Up

      The AFC West FKing sucked last year.

      Also, not saying it as a hater, but… the Raiders players are just bad. Expecting any GM/coach combination to turn things around in one year is just plain outlandish. Even Harbaugh, he walked into a SF team with the groundwork for an amazing defense in place already. That’s a huge leg up.

      Honestly I think the Raiders need to give a GM/Coach combination 3 or 4 years to actually build a team instead of expecting them to turn the franchise around in one season.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:03 pm || Up

        The team wasn’t awful the last two years, they were mediocre. Now they’re awful. I blame McKenzie and Allen.

        But seriously, folks....
        • MikeV Nov 25,2012 9:16 pm || Up

          OK.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:27 pm || Up

            and I’ll freely admit you may be right but I’m fucking pissed off at the moment so I’m going to rant a bit.

            But seriously, folks....
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:15 pm || Up

        Yes, this. The Raiders roster was horrible heading into 2012. So many holes. This was not a team that was getting fixed in the offseason with a few moves.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:24 pm || Up

          How is the roster that much different than the 8-8 team? Stanford Routt, Michael Bush and Kameron Wimbley made that much of a difference? This team has gotten worse as the year has gone on…when players go down rather than signing street free agents we have a safety playing CB and a FB playing at tail back…is McKenzie even awake?

          But seriously, folks....
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:34 pm || Up

            The 2011 Raiders lost 4 of their last 5 games when they had everything to play for, and mostly looked awful doing so. The D-line was looking old then and is positively decrepit now. Injuries this year have hurt a lot, but what they’ve really done is shown how little depth the team had to begin with. I truly believe that if the exact same coaching staff and roster as were in game 16 last year were back now, that 2012 team would be 4-12 or so.

            Also, they have signed a ton of street free agents, and some successfully, like Phillip Wheeler and whatshisname white guy linebacker and Hanson the DB. None of those guys are great, but for unsigned free agents they’ve been servicable.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:36 pm || Up

              Well, fair enough…I know you know your football, FSU…we’re going to just have to agree to disagree on this one.

              But seriously, folks....
            • doctorK Nov 28,2012 8:58 am || Up

              Going 1-4 over the last five games is why Hue Jackson is an assistant coach now. And last year’s AFC West was horrible.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:12 pm || Up

      If Hue Jackson were still here things would certainly be no better, and would probably be worse.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:16 pm || Up

        I really disagree…Dennis Allen doesn’t have the charisma to be a head coach and Hue was at least better at calling plays than Knapp is.

        But seriously, folks....
  48. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:06 pm

    Can I just say it’s makes me smile each day that someone as clueless as Norv Turner continues to be an NFL head coach.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:14 pm || Up

      I wonder if he’ll ever accept that he’s best suited to be an OC, and nothing more.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:26 pm || Up

        Actually at this point retirement is better idea.

        But seriously, folks....
  49. doctorK Nov 25,2012 8:08 pm

    I was going to recommend to you FKers to try Allegiant Air if you’re interested in cheap tickets to the Phoenix area for Spring Training. They fly from Oakland to Mesa (not Skyharbor Airport), which is much easier to get into and away from – in fact, once I arrived, I had my rental car in less than five minutes. They aren’t getting a rec from me now, because these people are utterly incompetent at operating an airline:
    1. Our flight from Oakland was about 1.5 hours late.
    2. Our flight to Oakland was supposed to arrive an hour ago. The airplane is still aloft somewhere while we sit on our asses here in Mesa.
    3. The amount of communication to the passengers is pitiful.
    4. They also appear to be unable to communicate within their own company, since about a half hour ago they informed us that they had “just found out” that our airplane was on its way.
    5. Worst part – THERE IS A FUCKING MD-80 SITTING IDLE RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR GATE WITH NO OTHER FLIGHTS SCHEDULED OUT OF HERE TONIGHT.

    • Poppy Nov 25,2012 8:20 pm || Up

      Yeah, Allegiant Air fits into the Poppys’ no-fly guideline of “have never heard of it.”

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:24 pm || Up

        The airline equivalent of the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.

    • Englishmajor Nov 28,2012 10:52 am || Up

      Sun Country, on the other hand, is the excellent little airline you’ve never heard of, unless you live in or frequently fly to Minneapolis-Saint Paul.

    • PDXAthleticsfan Nov 28,2012 3:04 pm || Up

      Hmmm…when I was down there last week, my mom’s neighbor was telling me that Allegiant from Eugene to SF/Oak was the way to go. Not withstanding the extra 4-5 hours of driving to get to Eugene from here, I might’ve considered it for my next trip, but seeing this, maybe not.

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  50. ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:16 pm

    The Packers look absolutely horrible tonight. Bears fans must be happy.

    • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:27 pm || Up

      When the Giants want to play they’re tough.

      But seriously, folks....
      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:31 pm || Up

        So inconsistent, but utterly dominant today.

        • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:34 pm || Up

          If they make the playoffs, and they likely will, no one is going to want to play them.

          But seriously, folks....
          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:37 pm || Up

            Nope. They get cranked up for big games.

  51. ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:18 pm

    My fantasy team is about to lose by 0.46 points because I started Aaron Rodgers over Tom Brady this week. FK you, Packers.

    • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:25 pm || Up

      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:27 pm || Up

        Still in 1st place by 1 game, but it pisses me off. One more completed pass for 12 yards, or 1 more rush for 5 yards and I’d have a win. Or if he hadn’t fumbled, or thrown that pick. FKing bastard.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Nov 26,2012 2:18 pm || Up

      *Waves

  52. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:28 pm

    The Browns stink but at least that team is still fighting…it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they beat the Raiders in Oakland next week.

    But seriously, folks....
    • doctorK Nov 25,2012 8:32 pm || Up

      On facebook, they have a contest where 1st prize is two tickets to the Browns game on the 50 yard line. Second prize is four tickets.

    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:33 pm || Up

      The Browns record of incompetence is truly amazing. It’s ’80’s Tampa Bay-worthy.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:37 pm || Up

        The Browns are a mess but we’ll see what their new owner does with the team….great fans.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:40 pm || Up

          You have to be a great fan. I’d be pretty apathetic at this point.

  53. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:31 pm

    I think McKenzie lost me when he said he wanted all these church going players because churchies are more disciplined people and what not…it’s the fucking Raiders, I want bikers, thugs and crazy fuckers who want nothing more than to win and kick ass…I hate my team so much right now.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:35 pm || Up

      Really? Churchies are more disciplined? What a load of crap.

      • andeux Nov 25,2012 8:36 pm || Up

        Bieber for QB!

        TINSTAAFK
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:40 pm || Up

          I’d love it if some NFL team (besides the 49ers) would do that. I so want to see Bieber take a few hits.

          • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:42 pm || Up

            Can he play shortstop?

            • beebo Nov 25,2012 8:46 pm || Up

              He’s got the Good Face, anything is possible.

              • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:51 pm || Up

                Shouldn’t the Marlins be unloading Yunel Escobar any day now?

            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:59 pm || Up

              He can’t even wear a ball cap properly.

              • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:46 pm || Up

                That reminds me of the creepy fker I saw in a parking lot who’s pants were worn so far down around his knees that on every step he took is pants lowered briefly to expose his butt crack and the popped back up.

              • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 9:48 am || Up

                He’d probably go out there with the stickers still on it.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:39 pm || Up

        That was their theory…McKenzie and Dennis ” I coached for the Broncos” Allen wanted to turn the Raiders into the God Squad.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:00 pm || Up

          I prefer to recruit players based on talent, but that’s just me.

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:09 pm || Up

            Yeah, in fact there was this team I liked that said just win, baby…not just pray, baby.

            I’ll always take talent.

            But seriously, folks....
            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:25 pm || Up

              Being devout and being disciplined really have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

              • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:29 pm || Up

                They can be correlated, which is to say that many highly disciplined people I know draw their sense of discipline from their faith. The reverse is not always true, of course, and there are many routes to discipline. But I have often wondered if I hadn’t abandoned my faith if I would be have more self-discipline, or if I’m just naturally a lazy fuck.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:40 pm || Up

                  I’ve known non-believers who are quite disciplined, and I know many very devout people right now who run the gamut from disciplined to lazy to everywhere in-between.

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:44 pm || Up

                  I’m an agnostic and I think I’m disciplined…mainly because Jesus told me to shape up.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:50 pm || Up

                  I think you need to be disciplined. Where’s Kay?

                • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:02 pm || Up

                  My only concern is I might really enjoy it.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:06 pm || Up

                  Once you go Kay there is no other way.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:25 pm || Up

                  Words of wisdom from Bridget the Midget?

                • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:42 pm || Up

                  New sigline!

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:53 pm || Up

                  exactly. I can imagine that someone who is predisposed to having a lot of self-control and self-discipline would be devout in religious life *if they chose to pursue one.* But on the other hand, I can also believe that for some personalities a devout religious life can bleed discipline into other arenas.

                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:57 pm || Up

                  That’s possible.

              • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:30 pm || Up

                I don’t have a dog in that fight but I just think it’s the wrong way to go for the fucking Oakland Raiders…the team of Satan!

                But seriously, folks....
  54. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:32 pm

    Can Billy Beane be the GM for the Raiders too?

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 8:36 pm || Up

      Sure, but do you really want Daric Barton as your QB?

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:42 pm || Up

        Hmm…going point…of course at this point I’d take Billy Barty as the GM.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:01 pm || Up

          I haven’t followed the Raiders very closely, but I think they need to blow the whole thing up (maybe starting with ownership) if they’re to be successful again.

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:08 pm || Up

            The big mistake as I’ve posted before was this…rookie owner, rookie GM, rookie head coach and rookie DC…they needed at least one of the jobs to be filled by someone with some experience.

            But seriously, folks....
            • MikeV Nov 25,2012 9:17 pm || Up

              McKenzie’s been around a long ass time though hasn’t he

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:20 pm || Up

                Never as a GM…he was a VP of player personnel at Green Bay so he never made the call on got picked or who the coaches were.

                But seriously, folks....
            • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:56 pm || Up

              Unless Harbaugh

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:47 pm || Up

      Wrong football.

  55. doctorK Nov 25,2012 8:35 pm

    Suck it, Gene Chizik.

    • Bed Nov 25,2012 8:39 pm || Up

      Has anyone been fired two years after winning a national championship?

      But seriously, folks....
  56. doctorK Nov 25,2012 8:39 pm

    There are now three – THREE – MD-80s on the ramp here at Mesa. Can this garbage airline at least tell us if one of these FKing planes is ours?????

    • doctorK Nov 25,2012 8:45 pm || Up

      OK – so now they tell us our plane is 25 minutes out. I can’t imagine why they couldn’t have used the one that arrived about two hours ago and has been sitting idle since.

      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:02 pm || Up

        Could be that they don’t have a flight crew available?

      • Soaker Nov 26,2012 10:30 am || Up

        According to the tracking sites it looks like this flight was eventually cancelled? I look forward to doctorK’s “rest of the story” rant.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • doctorK Nov 28,2012 9:18 am || Up

          OK – here it is:

          The kept telling us that we were waiting for our plane to come in from Oakland. In reality, we were waiting for the flight crew. Eventually, the flight from Oakland arrived around 10 pm (five hours late), and after about 30 minutes, they boarded us – onto that plane that had arrived at 7:30! After getting everybody seated (with the screaming 15-month twins directly behind me), they pushed the plane out onto the ramp, started the engines, and then announced that this plane had been flagged earlier in the day for an electronic fault, and the fault was intermittent, and it was happening again, and we are going back to the gate to have it checked, etc. Eventually around midnight, they took us off this plane, and after 20 minutes boarded us onto one of the other six MD80s on the ramp. After boarding, they then announced that Oakland was going to do maintenance on runway 29, which is the only runway at Oakland long enough to land an MD80 in a low-cloud environment, so they cancelled the flight. We were given a phone number to call for the rescheduling info in the morning, and I got my brother to bring us back to my parents’ place in Gold Canyon, where we grabbed a few hours of sleep. On Monday, the flight was scheduled for 12:30 pm, and left on time.

          • dmoas Nov 28,2012 11:07 am || Up

            That’s just… awesome. :/

          • elcroata Nov 28,2012 11:57 am || Up

            Not bad. Not bad at all. Aerolineas Argentinas could top it, though

            Because survival is insufficient
          • Future Ed Nov 28,2012 12:56 pm || Up

            it would be tough to plan that much fail

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Soaker Nov 28,2012 2:21 pm || Up

            Thank you for flying with us on Allegiant todaytomorrow, and we hope to see you again soon!

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 28,2012 7:08 pm || Up

            Wow. I’ve never had an airline ordeal that was anywhere near that horrible, knock wood.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • ptbnl Nov 28,2012 10:45 pm || Up

              Then you’ve never debated your very existence with a German gate agent.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • elcroata Nov 28,2012 11:33 pm || Up

                do tell

                Because survival is insufficient
                • ptbnl Nov 28,2012 11:48 pm || Up

                  Connecting in Frankfurt after my flight from Rome had arrived late I was denied boarding by the agent on the grounds that it wasn’t possible for me to make the connection, my presence at the gate notwithstanding.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • the llama Nov 28,2012 11:51 pm || Up

                  Awesome.

                • ptbnl Nov 28,2012 11:56 pm || Up

                  My sentiments almost exactly.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • the llama Nov 29,2012 12:08 am || Up

                  In the purest sense of the word no doubt.

              • elcroata Nov 28,2012 11:33 pm || Up

                Were you ever stripped at the gate?

                Because survival is insufficient
                • the llama Nov 28,2012 11:43 pm || Up

                  They just did that because they couldn’t resist your body.

                  I was questioned by Israeli border guards for 20 minutes while they practically waved my Pakistani-born parents through. Shoulda shaved that day.

                • ptbnl Nov 28,2012 11:49 pm || Up

                  Never involuntarily.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • Dial C for Concupiscence Nov 29,2012 11:11 am || Up

                Or been on a plane that suffered an explosion during takeoff. Or been forced to shepherd 12 minors by yourself across the US through canceled flights and an overnight stay in Charlotte. Or been barred from entering the Mumbai airport by armed guards.

                • Future Ed Nov 29,2012 12:27 pm || Up

                  or seen a grown man naked?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Nov 29,2012 1:09 pm || Up

                  Can’t say I’ve done that when flying yet.

                • doctorK Nov 29,2012 1:53 pm || Up

                  Or been in a Turkish prison?

                • doctorK Nov 29,2012 1:53 pm || Up

                  I’ve had to deal with the explosion. When Pan Am 103 was blown out of the sky over Scotland, my initial reaction was that Pan Am strikes again!

    • Future Ed Nov 25,2012 8:45 pm || Up

      your avatar is apt, once again.

      Hope you guys make it back OK.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:52 pm || Up

      Someone’s telling you never to travel to Arizona again.

      • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:56 pm || Up

        CONSERVATIVE URGES AZ BOYCOTT!!!

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • the llama Nov 25,2012 10:01 pm || Up

          I didn’t say *which* someone.

          • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 10:06 pm || Up

            All references to “someone” are to God.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  57. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:47 pm

    After the Raiders game I went for a walk…I said I’d be back in 20 minutes…two and half hours later I came home…this team is going to fucking kill me.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:03 pm || Up

      Just count down until the A’s start playing again. Although anything short of a WS win will be less exciting than this year. And I’m sad that Gomes is gone.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:07 pm || Up

        Yeah I love the A’s but they aren’t the Raiders…I enjoy baseball but football is my passion…it’s just not the same. I’m not sure I ever saw Gomes take an at bat so I can’t say I’ll miss him too much.

        But seriously, folks....
      • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:07 pm || Up

        Last year is in the books, the team has bought a lot of goodwill from me…I’m ready for anything this year, including an 80-win team.

        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:29 pm || Up

          In my head, I have a hard time believing that they can repeat this year’s success. But in my heart, I want to believe they’ll actually be even better.

          • PDXAthleticsfan Nov 28,2012 3:11 pm || Up

            This year was so magical because there were so few expectations coming in. I’m planning to start from the same place, because it’s better that way.

            A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
    • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:48 pm || Up

      That actually sounds like it’s good for your health…

  58. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:55 pm

    The worst part of watching the Bengals is having to look at those god awful uniforms for three hours.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:13 pm || Up

      I thought it was having to acknowledge the existence of Cincinnati.

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 9:50 am || Up

      The ugliness of the Bengals unis is underrated. Worst in the NFL, non-teal division.

      • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 10:03 am || Up

        If you include throwbacks, the Steelers win Ugliest Uniform in Pro Sports.

        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 10:44 am || Up

          Yeah, those were horrifying. But the Steelers usually look great. The Bengals look like shit every single week.

          • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 11:51 am || Up

            True, the Bengals consistent commitment to looking terrible is truly admirable.

            • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:43 pm || Up

              Yeah. Total trash.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  59. Bed Nov 25,2012 8:57 pm

    Dear Dad,

    Thank you so much for making me a Raiders fan.

    P.S. I may kill you in your sleep tonight.

    Your son, Brian.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:14 pm || Up

      Come to the red and gold side. We have fun here.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:19 pm || Up

        Nope…I’m a Raider fan until death…so sometime next Sunday…probably around 4pm west coast time.

        But seriously, folks....
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:24 pm || Up

          Maybe they’d cremate you in Al’s eternal flame.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:25 pm || Up

            pfft…I’m being stuffed at mounted on our living room wall when I die.

            But seriously, folks....
          • andeux Nov 25,2012 9:27 pm || Up

            Al’s hair would make an excellent wick.

            TINSTAAFK
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:40 pm || Up

          You didn’t specify whose death, though.

        • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:57 pm || Up

          What’s a word for respect + pity?

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:05 pm || Up

      I nominate this one for the upcoming “Best of Bed” 2013 desk calendar.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:11 pm || Up

        Heh…I’m sure that will be a major best seller…at a certain home in Arkansas…have I mentioned I’m a narcissist?

        But seriously, folks....
  60. the llama Nov 25,2012 8:57 pm

    Anyone heard from nm?

    • the llama Nov 25,2012 8:58 pm || Up

      Ah, I see TEH FACEBOOK hints that raven jr has been introduced to this world.

      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:15 pm || Up

        Yay! I love babies. They taste like chicken.

      • Poppy Nov 25,2012 9:39 pm || Up

        Yes! YAY! And thanks, nm’s mom’s cousin!

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:43 pm || Up

        Yoenissa?

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:51 pm || Up

          We will see who wears the pants in *that* family.

          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:58 pm || Up

            We need a birth video with the same production value as Sexy Feet’s video.

        • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:57 pm || Up

          It was on the list.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 9:58 pm || Up

      News above. Just been to hectic for enough emails to go out.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  61. MikeV Nov 25,2012 9:25 pm

    So, everything on levis.com is 40% off for Cyber Monday

    Jeans for 26 bucks.

    Too bad I’m losing weight and don’t wanna buy anything right now.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:29 pm || Up

      Good idea…wait until you’re at your goal weight and then buy a bunch of stuff so you have to stay at that weight.

      But seriously, folks....
      • MikeV Nov 25,2012 9:37 pm || Up

        That’s kind of my plan.

        I did buy one pair of jeans though. 28.71 shipped.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

    • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:39 pm || Up

      Clothes is one thing I cannot purchase online. I have to actually have tried on the item in question (not the item in the same size but different color – the actual item) prior to purchase. If I haven’t worn it, I won’t purchase it. Not counting underwear. Although I may or may not have surreptitiously tried on some Fruit of the Loom and slipped it back on the shelf.

      • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:45 pm || Up

        When I worked at Target, some woman tried to return used underwear. She didn’t even bother to wash them! They still had short and curlies, which she claimed was dog hair. I didn’t want to return it, but my idiot boss went ahead and gave her a refund.

        • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:48 pm || Up

          hmm…we’re both bald, we’re both history majors and we both worked at Target…are you attijah too?

          But seriously, folks....
          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 9:50 pm || Up

            How’d you know?

            • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:54 pm || Up

              One of the six people who used to play the role of Bloom told me.

              But seriously, folks....
      • MikeV Nov 25,2012 9:48 pm || Up

        I was literally trying on jeans a week ago because I need an entire new wardrobe, or else I wouldn’t buy them online either.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:41 pm || Up

      Thanks, great tip. I need a new pair of jeans, maybe two.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • the llama Nov 25,2012 9:55 pm || Up

        Speaking of which, I am one of those people who will buy three pairs of the same jeans if I can find the right style and cut (because finding clothes that fit me is a rare event). But then face the eternal question: rotate wearing them, or wear one pair into the ground and then bring another out? What would FK do?

        • MikeV Nov 25,2012 10:02 pm || Up

          something something boys section

          I think the correct answer is to buy 3 pairs of the same jeans in different colors and rotate them as needed to go with whatever else you wear

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

    • the llama Nov 25,2012 10:06 pm || Up

      Speaking of which, this big ass hunk of cheese isn’t going to eat itself.

  62. Bed Nov 25,2012 9:39 pm

    Okay…(takes a deep breath)…I’m over it…usually I get over a Raiders loss in a couple of hours but today’s game just really pissed me off…all part of being a crazed sports fan.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 25,2012 9:45 pm || Up

      See, I expected today’s suckfest after the last three straight suckfests, so it didn’t hit me as hard.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Nov 25,2012 9:49 pm || Up

        It’s the lack of effort that’s getting to me….blow out after blow out…it’s hard to watch.

        But seriously, folks....
      • desmarestia Nov 26,2012 12:41 pm || Up

        Yeah but it’s getting more and more painful to watch the suckfest….

  63. Bed Nov 25,2012 9:42 pm

    The NFC playoffs are going to be awesome this year.

    But seriously, folks....
  64. Bed Nov 25,2012 9:52 pm

    My two Super Bowl picks are a combined 19-3…we’ll see if I get lucky once the playoffs start.

    But seriously, folks....
  65. Bed Nov 25,2012 9:55 pm

    I need a new tv show to watch on the treadmill as I’ve caught up on the show attijah gave me…any advice?

    But seriously, folks....
    • MikeV Nov 25,2012 10:02 pm || Up

      American Horror Story is on Netflix now.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:02 pm || Up

      Honey Boo Boo.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:08 pm || Up

        I’ll…uh, not give it a look.

        But seriously, folks....
        • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:22 pm || Up

          Isn’t that filmed down the street from you?

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:24 pm || Up

            I have no idea…I’ve heard of it but I’m not really sure what it’s about.

            But seriously, folks....
            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:33 pm || Up

              Never actually seen it. Just hoping to waste an hour or so of your time.

              • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:37 pm || Up

                I like to waste my time posting with you instead.

                But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:48 pm || Up

                  That’s pretty wasteful. Might as well just amputate portions of your brain and set them on fire. You’d lose fewer brain cells.

            • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:35 pm || Up

              Oops, they are in Georgia, not Arkansas. Worlds apart, I’m sure.

              • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:37 pm || Up

                Folks in Georgia are fancy types…have most of their teeth and what not.

                But seriously, folks....
              • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:48 pm || Up

                According to Flannery O’Connor, “Tennessee is a hillbilly dumping ground, and Georgia ain’t much better.”

  66. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:04 pm

    Dear Ozzman99,

    I’m more than a little concerned about your vast knowledge of certain boy singers from Canada.

    P.S.I may kill you in your sleep tonight.

    Your son, Brian.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:26 pm || Up

      I HAVE A SON???

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:29 pm || Up

        Hey Dad…can I borrow the car?

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:36 pm || Up

          No, you’re grounded.

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:39 pm || Up

            but..but..but..DAD!….I hate you so much!…(runs off into his room)

            But seriously, folks....
            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:49 pm || Up

              Then stop wetting your bed, Bed. You’re freaking 40 years old.

        • the llama Nov 25,2012 10:38 pm || Up

          • colin Nov 26,2012 12:07 pm || Up

            Videos won’t load for me over this super slow satellite connection. So I’m just going to assume that this is the Violent Femmes and say “rock on!”

            • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:44 pm || Up

              You are correct, Upside Down Sir.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
            • the llama Nov 26,2012 6:44 pm || Up

              Oh, so close. It was Justin Bieber.

              OK, OK, it was Violent Femmes.

              Also relevant:

              Boy wants a car from his Dad
              Dad says, first you gotta cut that hair
              Boy says, hey Dad Jesus had long hair
              and Dad says
              that’s right son but Jesus walked everywhere

      • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:29 pm || Up

        This should be the Christmas Day entry on the Best of Bed day calendar.

        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:37 pm || Up

          But… it can’t be. Billy Jean is not my lover.

  67. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:09 pm

    Since I just called myself an agnostic I should probably google what the hell that means.

    But seriously, folks....
  68. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:12 pm

    Friends…thank you for letting me rant about my Raiders tonight…I should pay you folks for putting up with me.

    But seriously, folks....
    • nevermoor Nov 25,2012 10:14 pm || Up

      You pay me by using your credit card on the computer where the FK trojan is installed.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:16 pm || Up

        Do you take Discover?

        But seriously, folks....
        • the llama Nov 25,2012 10:20 pm || Up

          Haha..c’mon, nobody takes Discover.

          (By the way, I once quit a pub trivia team when they would not believe me that the Discover Card was first introduced by Sears. Why would even venture such a weird guess if I wasn’t absolutely rock-solid certain? Assholes)

          • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:22 pm || Up

            I’m not sure I’ve actually ever seen a Discover card…they’re part plastic, part myth.

            But seriously, folks....
            • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 3:39 pm || Up

              I had one in Law School because Sam’s Club.

              Fkers messed my parents up a bit for no good reason, so I’ve never carried one anywhere else.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • nevermoor Nov 26,2012 3:39 pm || Up

          Non exclusively, yes.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • dmoas Nov 26,2012 4:08 pm || Up

            Fkers wouldn’t agree to the exclusive deal? W.T.F. They’re going to regret that.

    • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:23 pm || Up

      I will gladly accept your $5.

  69. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:16 pm

    Hmm…for some reason I just posted in the lounge from 5 days ago about Lindsay Lohan…usually when I post in an old lounge it’s about Kim Kardashian.

    But seriously, folks....
  70. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:26 pm

    I like posting in the lounge but one day I really hope to direct.

    But seriously, folks....
  71. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:27 pm

    I like to play the theme from Airwolf while I have sex with my wife…it lets her know that she’s in for the best 60 seconds of her life.

    But seriously, folks....
  72. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:29 pm

    and if you can tell me where the title of this lounge comes from my dog, Carney will hump your leg for an hour at the location of your choice.

    But seriously, folks....
  73. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:33 pm

    Hello, my name is Bed…well, not really. I’m an agnostic, narcissist who enjoys golf, long walks on the beaches of Arkansas and the GM work of Reggie McKenzie.

    But seriously, folks....
  74. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:34 pm

    I’m too sexy for this mumu.

    But seriously, folks....
    • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:37 pm || Up

      I am sincerely glad I refreshed the thread for this.

      • Bed Nov 25,2012 10:44 pm || Up

        That’s nice of you to say.

        But seriously, folks....
        • beebo Nov 25,2012 10:53 pm || Up

          Don’t ever change.

          • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:54 pm || Up

            Except your underwear.

            • beebo Nov 25,2012 11:00 pm || Up

              If you’re in a mumu, it might already be too late for that.

              • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 11:04 pm || Up

                If you’re in a mumu, it’s too late for a lot of things. Like dignity.

            • dmoas Nov 25,2012 11:01 pm || Up

              And possibility your socks… when you actually choose to wear them… which pretty much the same can be said about the underwear.

    • the llama Nov 25,2012 10:45 pm || Up

  75. Bed Nov 25,2012 10:46 pm

    I’ll leave you with this…

    It’s better to have loved and lost than to have your big toe shot off.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:52 pm || Up

      I thought it was “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to have your nipple chewed off by a ferret.”

      • dmoas Nov 25,2012 11:01 pm || Up

        Oy! That it is… that it is…

        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 11:06 pm || Up

          Or maybe it’s “gnawed off…” Junior high was so long ago.

    • dmoas Nov 25,2012 10:58 pm || Up

      Clearly you don’t love your big toe enough.

  76. MikeV Nov 25,2012 10:55 pm

    OKAY WHAT THE FK

    It sounds like a whole group of FKers are invading CT’s show. Bryan is there, I think I heard Josh talking, and I am almost positive that I heard Jesa’s laughing in teh background

    Oh, and also they have an Aussie chick with them. There is a pic of Bryan’s FB. Yes, she’s hot. Yes, she has a hot accent.

    WHY WAS I NOT INVITED TO SEE THE HOT AUSSIE CHICK????? :cry:

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 10:58 pm || Up

      Because other guys wanted a fighting chance.

    • dmoas Nov 25,2012 11:02 pm || Up

      I once knew a hot Aussie chick. Had a nice rack too.

      • MikeV Nov 25,2012 11:26 pm || Up

        aussie chicks are hot.

        YES I JUST HEARD JESA. ON THE AIR. WTF.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 11:32 pm || Up

          You’ll have your revenge when the 49ers beat NE. On the road. In December.

          • MikeV Nov 25,2012 11:43 pm || Up

            Indeed.

            Also, aussie chick is taken.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • ozzman99 Nov 25,2012 11:44 pm || Up

              Her loss. Prolly dating some Foster’s-swilling fool.

          • whimsical witch Nov 26,2012 1:49 am || Up

            ozzie on my bad list now.

            • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 8:42 am || Up

              Not to worry. Smack-talk always backfires on me.

        • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:45 pm || Up

          It sucks that I missed it.

          I was so tired from the weekend that I went to bed early.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • whimsical witch Nov 26,2012 1:49 am || Up

      it was teh awesome.

    • nobody in particular Nov 26,2012 2:42 am || Up

      We’ll bring you one of these days.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • MikeV Nov 26,2012 8:04 am || Up

        I keep hearing this

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  77. ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 8:43 am

    Do you guys get a sick feeling in your stomach when you spend a lot of money? Even when it’s on something you both want and need?

    • MikeV Nov 26,2012 8:51 am || Up

      yes.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • dmoas Nov 26,2012 11:08 am || Up

      I am in a constant state of buyer’s remorse.

    • the llama Nov 26,2012 6:46 pm || Up

      Yes. Although strangely, the one thing I haven’t had buyer’s remorse on is my house, the single biggest purchase I have made (or am ever likely to make (until I win the lottery and buy the A’s)).

  78. Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 10:48 am

    I could live with this stupid gimmick of putting opening night tickets online today if they would waive some of the fees, or offer a volume discount, or include a green and gold menorah or something. Just selling them at regular price with no option to purchase at the box office and calling it a “cyber monday” offer is really annoying.

  79. Kylianna Nov 26,2012 4:19 pm

    NO MORE TIERNEY, NO MORE TIERNEY, LA LA LA LA LA LA, NO MORE TIEEEERNEEEEEEEEEEEEY.

    • MikeV Nov 26,2012 4:21 pm || Up

      Towny is doing afternoon drive now!??!?!

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Kylianna Nov 26,2012 11:17 pm || Up

        WE LIVE IN A GLORIOUS NEW WORLD. I WELCOME THE RETURN OF OUR CHRIS TOWNSEND EVENING OVERLORD.

    • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 4:21 pm || Up

      I see Paris, I see France, I see Kyli’s underpants!

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 4:45 pm || Up

      He got canned, or what?

      • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 4:51 pm || Up

        Ah, I see he is going to the new CBS Sports Radio network to do a show with Tiki Barber. OK then.
        He will not be missed.

        • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:46 pm || Up

          Ew… gross!

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Englishmajor Nov 28,2012 10:58 am || Up

          I think we should all call in to his new show and say something intelligent to the call screeners, then when they actually put us on the air, Tierney says “yo yo, EM from Oakland, what’s up?” all he hears is ding, ding, ding.

          • Kylianna Nov 28,2012 2:02 pm || Up

            …I like this idea. It warms my heart.

            • ozzman99 Nov 28,2012 2:09 pm || Up

              Your whole heart, or just the cockles?

    • desmarestia Nov 26,2012 5:37 pm || Up

      I thought of you when I saw that! :)

  80. Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 5:47 pm

    Lotsa good seats still available at this Eagles game.

    • Soaker Nov 26,2012 5:59 pm || Up

      If the Panthers lose, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Ron Rivera named Cal’s new head coach by the end of the week. It’s an unimaginative but alumni-safe pick.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 6:01 pm || Up

        You think they’re about to fire him, or they’d just be happy to let him walk?

        • Soaker Nov 26,2012 6:06 pm || Up

          Since Carolina has fired its GM already, might as well dump the head coach too and give the new guy a clean slate. Even if they don’t fire him, Rivera might read that writing on the wall and ask to walk, a request a 2-9 team would be likely to accommodate.

          However, if you need to lose a game to further your career ambitions, Philadelphia is the wrong team to be playing…

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2012 6:07 pm || Up

          Either way, it doesn’t look likely the Panthers will lose this one.

  81. Jennifer Nov 26,2012 6:21 pm

    Wish me luck, everyone.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 26,2012 6:32 pm || Up

      Good luck Jennifer!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 6:34 pm || Up

      Good luck!

      With what?

        • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 6:55 pm || Up

          You got this.

          • Jennifer Nov 26,2012 6:59 pm || Up

            It’s possible to pass. I just have to fucking nail everything else in class for the next two weeks. Every single teacher spoke to me today. They said it wasn’t the end of the world if I didn’t pass. I’m still on the fence about that.

            • Kay Nov 26,2012 7:22 pm || Up

              They are right that it’s not the end of the world if you don’t pass.

              You still have to do your best to ail the next two weeks of class, though. The A’s made the playoffs with a hot surge at the end, and you can pass your class the same way.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
            • ozzman99 Nov 26,2012 7:26 pm || Up

              Also, when you say “nail everything…” Does that include your instructors?

            • dmoas Nov 26,2012 8:29 pm || Up

              If it makes you feel any better, I once failed every test and quiz for a class in college up until the final, crammed my ass off, aced the final and got a B out of the class.

              • the llama Nov 26,2012 8:32 pm || Up

                I once missed every test and quiz (for legit reasons), but since the professor didn’t want to give me any makeups, he just told me that the final exam would count for the whole grade.

    • the llama Nov 26,2012 6:47 pm || Up

    • Kay Nov 26,2012 6:47 pm || Up

      Good luck to you with the examination/quiz/date/taking off your pants.

      Do you still think I’m psychic? :)

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Kylianna Nov 26,2012 11:18 pm || Up

      Good luck!

  82. beebo Nov 26,2012 7:13 pm

    I could use a scotch and an A’s game right about now.

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