Like trying to catch catfish barehanded: DLD 072709 ← FREE KRAUT!

Like trying to catch catfish barehanded: DLD 072709 65

27 Jul 2009  |  monkeyball  |The Grill
  1. Braden just gets better and better
  2. This is the only one in existence
  3. So long, and thanks for all the fish
you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

65 thoughts on “Like trying to catch catfish barehanded: DLD 072709”

  1. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 10:14 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  2. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 10:15 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. oblique Jul 27,2009 10:15 am

    Rickey’s HOF induction speech, parts one and two.

    I laughed, I cried, it was better than Catfish.

  4. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 10:16 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jul 27,2009 11:26 am || Up

      The previous post is pretty good too.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  5. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 10:27 am

    I heartily endorse this. Heck, send ’em DFA and Not-Corey.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jul 27,2009 11:26 am || Up

      “One reporter wondered” eh? Solid newsmaking.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  6. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 10:37 am

    This seems Rickeyish:

    at least I didn’t name my business “Burglar.”

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jul 27,2009 11:27 am || Up

      “Listen, it’s $50 more for each joke you tell that I’ve already heard.”

      Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/27/DD4P18TTT7.DTL#ixzz0MUB5vuap

      FK has its first rule.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 11:31 am || Up

        I think that would be the fourth FK rule. The first two are the obligatory Fight Club reference, and the third is be careful about picking up embedded code when C&Ping copy from sfgate (I noticed it doing that when I tried earlier).

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • mikeA Jul 27,2009 11:34 am || Up

          Not talking about Fight Club is a great rule in every context besides “Things That Suck” conferences.

          • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 11:47 am || Up

            How’s that working out for you, being clever?

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • mikeA Jul 27,2009 12:40 pm || Up

              I’ve fed the script into my Ferrel-blocker firefox ad-on, so I am unable to read this comment.

        • nevermoor Jul 27,2009 11:56 am || Up

          I actually don’t mind. If SF Gate wants that there, I figure it’s their content and it doesn’t cost me a thing.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 1:52 pm

    Now that’s a snarky headline!

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jul 27,2009 2:16 pm || Up

      Whee…

      Gentlemen, start your false-moral-equivalency sensors.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  8. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 3:01 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  9. andeux Jul 27,2009 3:26 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 3:30 pm || Up

      OK, without reading it, I’m guessing … my Rajai Davis, Starting First Baseman! prediction is coming true.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 3:32 pm || Up

        Ha! Not too far off — and it could still happen (emphasis mine):

        I asked Geren if the spot would have to go to a first baseman or could potentially go to someone at another position and he said that right now, they’re discussing all options.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 3:34 pm || Up

          Also: apparently nukes aren’t off the table.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Poppy Jul 27,2009 3:40 pm || Up

      Uh… Everidge? Where/when did he come from?

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • batgirl Jul 27,2009 3:48 pm || Up

        I think Everidge is the Archie Gilbert of the Rivercats.

        • Poppy Jul 27,2009 3:59 pm || Up

          Next year, Archie Gilbert might be the Archie Gilbert of the Rivercats…

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
          • batgirl Jul 27,2009 5:00 pm || Up

            oh how I hope so–the value of my bobblehead will skyrocket.

  10. mk Jul 27,2009 3:44 pm

    mikeA, I know you don’t ever visit ESPN.com, so I wanted to alert you to some crack analysis being done over there.

    Please read “Moneyball re-evaluated” and/or the essay concerning legacy damage of the collateral variety, and report back with your thoughts.

    • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 3:45 pm || Up

      I think his Ferrel-blocker also filters out espn content.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 4:02 pm || Up

      Wait, I’m confused.

      In his sparsely furnished, low-ceilinged office situated across the walkway from McAfee Coliseum, Beane …

      Beane’s office is in the BART station?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • green star oakland Jul 27,2009 4:47 pm || Up

        Shipping container in the BART parking lot.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 27,2009 5:06 pm || Up

        You left out the rest of the sentence:

        “…Beane is wearing the same pants he wore the day before.”

        Like an old married couple, Billy is adopting the habits of Lew Wolff.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 5:28 pm || Up

          Wouldn’t “adopting the habits” mean Billy was wearing the same pants Lew wore the day before?

          That would explain the man-pris …

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mikeA Jul 27,2009 9:25 pm || Up

      I skimmed it earlier. A lot of it is about on base percentage and whether it is good or bad. Some scout says bad. Jim Rice doesn’t like it either. The article writer dude said:

      The reason he’s interesting, of course, is his influence in the evolution toward the greater use of qualitative analysis in baseball, which was under way as early as the mid-1980s.

      Honest mistake maybe.
      Then later:

      On the strength of Beane’s emphasis on technology and quantitative and qualitative analysis,

      Man, Beane really is a genius. He’s covered every base!

      • mk Jul 28,2009 7:43 am || Up

        Thesis: This OBP fetish has gone too far.
        Supporting evidence: The A’s have a lot of bad hitters.

        “I’m looking up there and I’m seeing ‘Cust, .233; Holliday, .274; Giambi, .206; Cabrera, .234; Crosby, .197,'” he says, “and yes, their on-base percentages, except for Cabrera, who never walks, are high. But these guys can’t hit.”

        1. He forgot Ellis, .219; Garciaparra, .247; Barton, .147.

        2. Questionable, the decision to unironically quote a scout asserting that Matt Holliday “can’t hit”.

        3. I thought Cabrera was the sort of guy who will get a hit when you need it and just knows how to win. Doesn’t this dude know he held a team meeting that sparked a one game winning streak? Very confusing. Maybe now that his batting average is up near .280, he’ll be reinstated into the Gamer Pantheon.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2009 8:52 am || Up

          But their OBP’s aren’t high. The A’s are the fourth worst team in the AL in OBP. If the A’s 2009 roster is an indictment of anything, it’s an indictment of fielding an offense that sucks. Which isn’t exactly Pulitzer material.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • nevermoor Jul 28,2009 9:23 am || Up

            But… but… but… (sputters)

            I don’t think mid-80s is a typo. I think that’s a reference to Bill James.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • mk Jul 28,2009 9:36 am || Up

            You don’t understand.

            Beane’s OBP obsession set him down a path to self-destruction (collateral damage: legacy).

            He collects low BA players who walk, low BA players who don’t walk, low BA players who used to walk but don’t anymore, players who used to have high BA’s and high OBP’s but got old and can no longer muster either one, and players who actually are good but since that doesn’t support the argument we’ll just say they suck too. Anyway, none of them can hit, which is why this OBP bullshit doesn’t work for anyone, except the Red Sox and the Yankees and the Rays and the Dodgers and the Phillies and the Angels (no kidding, 2nd in the AL – in SciosciaBall, though, you take ball four with a grimace).

            • andeux Jul 28,2009 10:15 am || Up

              There actually seems to be a narrative that goes something like this:
              Sure, OBP is good, but Beane has gotten players who go to the plate “looking to walk” and those type of players are fundamentally flawed in a way that opposing pitchers can exploit. Variants of this argument include:
              1) Claims that players whose production is based on a high BA are somehow better than their stats, and those whose production is patience- and power-heavy are somehow worse than their stats.
              2) Claims that players whose production is based on a high BA will keep up their production or continue to get better, while those whose production is patience- or power-heavy will regress because pitchers will figure them out.
              3) Claims that the large number of shutouts we have suffered through in the last few years are because our hitters are still looking for a walk rather than looking for a hit with men on.
              4) Assertions that pretty much every hitter on the team falls into this category, even ones who rarely walk and don’t hit for much power.

              And there’s no need to provide any actual evidence for these things, because they’re obvious to anyone who watches the games.
              There, I think I just summed up pretty much every post by **** on ** over the last 3 years or so.

              TINSTAAFK
              • nevermoor Jul 28,2009 10:18 am || Up

                You forgot about their locus of control.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  11. Poppy Jul 27,2009 4:42 pm

    Okay, Trevor…

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  12. oblique Jul 27,2009 4:48 pm

    Un-fucking-believable. I am NOT a Patterson fan.

    • andeux Jul 27,2009 4:50 pm || Up

      A. Kennedy popped into double play first to pitcher to second, E. Patterson out at second

      WTF happened?

      TINSTAAFK
      • oblique Jul 27,2009 4:56 pm || Up

        Patterson was running, Kennedy popped out, Patterson made it back to first, but unfortunately had slid PAST 2nd base and neglected to touch 2nd base on his way back to 1st base.

    • mikeA Jul 27,2009 9:26 pm || Up

      Hard to blame him for that…

      • oblique Jul 27,2009 10:21 pm || Up

        For not touching second on his way back to first? Pretty easy, really — mental error.

  13. green star oakland Jul 27,2009 4:50 pm

    WTF

    A. Kennedy popped into double play first to pitcher to second, E. Patterson out at second

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • green star oakland Jul 27,2009 4:52 pm || Up

      for (n=0; n<100; n++) printf("I must refresh before posting\n");

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  14. green star oakland Jul 27,2009 4:54 pm

    In terms of expected runs, a lead-off triple is almost indistinguishable from a lead-off homer.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • nevermoor Jul 27,2009 5:09 pm || Up

      I thought you were an A’s fan.

      We can strand runners at third like nobody’s business.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • green star oakland Jul 27,2009 6:40 pm || Up

        Ergo, the A’s must (almost) never hit lead-off triples

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • green star oakland Jul 27,2009 7:00 pm || Up

          Scott Hairston: not a true Athletic.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • nevermoor Jul 28,2009 9:24 am || Up

            And I, for one, love him for it.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  15. mk Jul 27,2009 5:20 pm

    Why are the A’s broadcasters (Korach included) so keen to pigeonhole Eric Patterson? It’s obnoxious.

    “He’s not the type of guy who’s going to be successful hitting the ball in the air.”

    “He just hasn’t hit at this level.”

    Etc. Over and over again, every time he comes to the plate. I can’t watch TV broadcasts when Patterson plays, because Fosse’s contemptuous tut-tutting whenever Patterson fails to hit a ground ball up the middle makes me want to leap through the TV screen and smack him in the forehead (Fosse, not Patterson).

    Majors + minors:
    Patterson: 2326 AB, 233 XBH
    Sweeney: 2894 AB, 185 XBH

    Maybe Ryan F***ing Sweeney should stop hitting weak flyballs to left-center, too. I guess we’ll never hear that critique, because he’s not skinny or fast.

    Patterson has played in five big league games this year, for crying out loud. It’d be nice if they cut him some of that slack they extend to Crosby and Sweeney and Barton and, well, every single other player on the team.

    • monkeyball Jul 27,2009 5:30 pm || Up

      We’re not selling white sheets here.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mikeA Jul 27,2009 9:28 pm || Up

      I don’t particularly enjoy listening to them fellate Red Sox fans either.

      • Poppy Jul 28,2009 9:45 am || Up

        aon, the SJ Giants do an 8th-inning “Sweet Caroline” thing. Blech.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  16. monkeyball Jul 27,2009 5:52 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  17. Poppy Jul 28,2009 9:51 am
    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • monkeyball Jul 28,2009 9:58 am || Up

      … and Sarah Palin

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Poppy Jul 28,2009 10:01 am || Up

        What? Nuh-uh…

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • nevermoor Jul 28,2009 10:05 am || Up

        Not to mention Oprah and MC Hammer.

        Nico is an odd cookie (assuming he’s the one in charge of this).

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Poppy Jul 28,2009 10:08 am || Up

          Hammer I can understand… at least there’s an A’s connection. World Economic Forum and Sarah Brown?

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  18. nevermoor Jul 28,2009 10:00 am

    I love when a commentator tells it like it is (“incoherent”) and supports their assertion with what appear to be strong arguments.

    Why can’t they all do it this way?

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jul 28,2009 10:12 am || Up

      Your agreement with someone with whom Sarah Palin disagrees clearly demonstrates that you don’t support our troops.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jul 28,2009 10:20 am || Up

        Speaking of… could it possibly be that Douthat is taking baby steps towards intellectual honesty?

        I don’t particularly enjoy flogging his columns, but his thesis seems to be: 1) the war was a mistake; 2) the surge was helpful; 3) as we withdraw we need to keep an eye on things. Kristol, for example, would never have written this column.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"

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